The best Tom Sizemore sex tape review yet! - GoFuckYourself.com

JohnW · 08-25-2005, 05:51 PM

"At a Glance: Not since Limp Bizkit auteur Fred Durst's camera phone puked onto the Internet has a celebrity sex tape been less welcome. Tom Sizemore famously dated and famously beat the shit out of celebrity madam Heidi Fleiss - an act I think anyone who has ever seen an interview with Fleiss can easily forgive - so the fact that he fucks hookers and films it really doesn't come as a huge surprise. Expected or not, this elaborate and expensive (in more ways than one) collection of homegrown porn is redolent with the intertwining stenches of failure and humiliation. Sizemore explains he is a "grower not a shower" and then spends minutes complaining about how he can't achieve an erection because of a looming court case. His drug-fueled soliloquies about how he is "not smart, but not really stupid" or his explanation of a squirt gun containing his semen will loom like storm clouds in the mind of any casting director. The proverbial truth is out there: Tom Sizemore is a giant fucking idiot.

Nation of Origin: Hollywood, a nation unto itself.

Languages: The stumbling semi-coherent language that only booze and opiate addicts speak mixed with the harpy-like squawks of paid escorts.

Sexual Content: Time Sizemore eats more assholes than a giant alligator set loose in Washington."

Read the entire fabulous review here:

http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=3156

J.

XPays · 08-25-2005, 05:53 PM

no review is complete without a plug: http://XXXTom.com

see what all the fuss is about

cali_22 · 08-25-2005, 05:54 PM

hes a Pig 4 sure

JohnW · 08-25-2005, 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by XPays

no review is complete without a plug: http://XXXTom.com

see what all the fuss is about

Oh they plug it...they plug it hard...

lol

J.

Tytan · 08-25-2005, 05:57 PM

Talking of Tom

Lock Up was on tv tonight good film, funny how the newspaper printed his name instead of Sly.

XPays · 08-25-2005, 05:59 PM

the tom "craze" is all about the buzz followed by more buzz - sales are steady and traffic is heavy.

XPays · 08-25-2005, 06:01 PM

Tytan · 08-25-2005, 06:02 PM

Xpay you banking good $$$$$$??

JohnW · 08-25-2005, 06:03 PM

""I've never had an STD in my life." Sizemore coos romantically while still lying atop the girl he was screwing. "I want to say, just for the record: I have cancer of the pancreas and I have cancer of the brain, but I don't have Chlamydia. You know what I have cancer of? I have cancer of the police. What day is?it's Friday, right? I'm hoping that over the weekend 23 cops are murdered. I hope they have lots of kids."

nice...

J.

XPays · 08-25-2005, 06:03 PM

reynold · 08-25-2005, 06:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by XPays

no review is complete without a plug: http://XXXTom.com

see what all the fuss is about

You are awesome man! Thanks for sharing this hot stuff.

s9ann0 · 08-25-2005, 06:06 PM

yer i mean my first reaction was tom sizemore who the fuck is that?
then when I worked out who he was I just thought why the fuck would anyone wanna see him ?

the whole celebrity men sex tape thing just isn't working for me

datatank · 08-25-2005, 06:06 PM

XPays · 08-25-2005, 06:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by reynold

You are awesome man! Thanks for sharing this hot stuff.

thanks- my mom is very proud of me right now too!

JohnW · 08-25-2005, 06:07 PM

"Lana searches off-camera for the bag while Kara straddles Sizemore's face. He moans and slurps like a burn patient eating soup through a straw.

"And then?" Lana asks after having located the bag.

"I think the drugs are in there," coaches Kara.

"And then we're gonna talk about something that's against the law, besides this here," Sizemore pauses from his oral activities. "Especially this girl?this is called cunnilingus or fellatio, I'm not sure. One of them means I'm not a faggot and one of them means I'm a faggot. So whichever one of them means I'm not a faggot?Oh! Nothing against you faggots, I want?you to like me too."

Sizemore gleefully gets up, his small flaccid penis flopping around like a bee-stung thumb tip.

"Hey my dick is short, huh? I'm a grower not a shower. I'm an egomaniac."

Priceless...

J.

XPays · 08-25-2005, 06:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spanno

yer i mean my first reaction was tom sizemore who the fuck is that?
then when I worked out who he was I just thought why the fuck would anyone wanna see him ?

the whole celebrity men sex tape thing just isn't working for me

a lot of the initial members are woman - there are also 1000's of hours of content in the site

datatank · 08-25-2005, 06:09 PM

XPays · 08-25-2005, 06:11 PM

CuriousToyBoy · 08-25-2005, 06:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by datatank

Ha ha ha ha

Now THAT'S the best promo yet !

MrPinks · 08-25-2005, 06:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by datatank

nico-t · 08-25-2005, 06:55 PM

now THAT was a great review haha funny shit

BigCashCrew Dude · 08-25-2005, 06:56 PM

haha, that is funny, now I have to see this thing

reed_4 · 08-25-2005, 07:08 PM

Tom wants to be a famous porn superstar that's why he's doing his best to get people's attention on him.

tucker · 08-25-2005, 08:21 PM

This is some priceless material; a real life look inside an actors mind and then some. Though the review is interesting, you really have to hear how this plays, it?s damn funny.

?Oh, alright, what would you say? Hey, stop it, how dare you! I'm unmarried, I don't have a girlfriend, why do you want to do this to me? Why are you offending my sense of?mmm?why is she doing this to me? What's wrong with her? She has a disease! It's called co-a cock-she's a cock sucker.?

?Its February 2003 I dyed my hair at Rancho Labree?you know what else I did, I had sex and your not supposed to cause its rehab but I didn?t think my dick needed any rehab.?

That one scene where a girl is on the bed and she cums, the chicks ass winks at the camera for a good minute?nice ending.

Like J$tyles said, a cult classic!

Doctor Dre · 08-25-2005, 08:31 PM

I added some links to my blog

PixeLs · 08-25-2005, 10:17 PM

Now I beleive he is really that wild...

je_rome · 08-25-2005, 10:40 PM

that fruitcake just wants to ride on the bandwagon of sex tapes.

D-Money · 08-25-2005, 10:46 PM

An instant cult classic for sure.

3piece chicken Dinner · 08-25-2005, 10:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spanno

the whole celebrity men sex tape thing just isn't working for me

And it's not working for many. but I guess instead of OMG incredible numbers, I am to believe that suddenly women are signing up for porn sites. LOL.

I sure hope they lock down a few cute 18yr old boys for some SingleBoy sites geared towards these women.

I'm still waiting for the press coverage, still nothing, and I have the news and E! on all day and night long.....

phogirl69 · 08-25-2005, 10:56 PM

We want to see the David Beckham sex tape!! We want! We want!

3piece chicken Dinner · 08-25-2005, 10:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phogirl69

We want to see the David Beckham sex tape!! We want! We want!

See now I could see a woman MAYBE being interested in that. ( 29.95 interested I dunno)

Where is KB?? Shouldn't he be in here telling me this is blowing up faster than Kirsty Alley at an all you can eat buffet?

eroswebmaster · 08-25-2005, 10:59 PM

Get your links up. Xpays...it's WIGGERIFIC!

gideongallery · 08-25-2005, 11:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by XPays

so how much do you think her rates are going to go up because of the video

J$tyle$ · 08-25-2005, 11:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tucker

This is some priceless material; a real life look inside an actors mind and then some. Though the review is interesting, you really have to hear how this plays, it?s damn funny.

?Oh, alright, what would you say? Hey, stop it, how dare you! I'm unmarried, I don't have a girlfriend, why do you want to do this to me? Why are you offending my sense of?mmm?why is she doing this to me? What's wrong with her? She has a disease! It's called co-a cock-she's a cock sucker.?

?Its February 2003 I dyed my hair at Rancho Labree?you know what else I did, I had sex and your not supposed to cause its rehab but I didn?t think my dick needed any rehab.?

That one scene where a girl is on the bed and she cums, the chicks ass winks at the camera for a good minute?nice ending.

Like J$tyles said, a cult classic!

My favorite incoherent rambling from Tom:

A quick cut later and Sizemore delivers an even more idiotic diatribe.

"Hey, LAPD, one more time I want to make this really clear: FUCK YOU. Not that I don't like you guys, but I just feel about you how you feel about me. You don't like me, I don't like you. You think I'm afraid of you? Wrong guy. Suck my fucking Detroit dick. I didn't hit that clickety-clack bitch, bag of bones fucking comin' out of her ass fucking whore. I didn't hit her. I shit on her?because she asked me to."

datatank · 08-25-2005, 11:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by J$tyle$

My favorite incoherent rambling from Tom:

A quick cut later and Sizemore delivers an even more idiotic diatribe.

"Hey, LAPD, one more time I want to make this really clear: FUCK YOU. Not that I don't like you guys, but I just feel about you how you feel about me. You don't like me, I don't like you. You think I'm afraid of you? Wrong guy. Suck my fucking Detroit dick. I didn't hit that clickety-clack bitch, bag of bones fucking comin' out of her ass fucking whore. I didn't hit her. I shit on her?because she asked me to."

I think we can have Tom play Jstyles LOL

Ya thats funny part for sure

BlackCrayon · 08-25-2005, 11:28 PM

lol hes hilarious. can't believe people are paying to see it tho.

datatank · 08-25-2005, 11:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlackCrayon

lol hes hilarious. can't believe people are paying to see it tho.

Ever seen a train wreck?

XPays · 08-25-2005, 11:51 PM

the sphinctor puckering is pretty cool in broadband

XPays · 08-25-2005, 11:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 3piece chicken Dinner

I'm still waiting for the press coverage, still nothing, and I have the news and E! on all day and night long.....

you will eat your words and i hope they are crispy

XPays · 08-26-2005, 12:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Doctor Dre

I added some links to my blog

that's hot!!!

lilokster · 09-12-2005, 12:51 AM

I tried putting out a Tom Sizemore sextape about 2 years ago.
I couldn't find too many people interested in it. Tom tried
threatening me to get it back. Had me meet with an ex LAPD
in Orange County acting like he wanted to buy it. And then
played a bunch of bullshit games. I guess that's when he got the idea
that he might as well put his own out. You can tell that
all of the tapes on his site were filmed by someone else.
With the intent of selling them. Tom made these tapes. And he put them
out on his own. I have the original of him and his fiance from
two years ago. And as much as he talks about not being gay, On my tape
he gives a blowjob to a dildo and talks about how good he is at it.
There is also other footage of him and his band rehearsing. And him talking shit about several other celebrities, such as Kobe Bryant and the one-armed drummer from Def Leppard. If these other tapes sell or someone has a site that promotes them and is interested in a tape no one else has please email me or reply here.

cranki · 09-12-2005, 12:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilokster

I tried putting out a Tom Sizemore sextape about 2 years ago.
I couldn't find too many people interested in it. Tom tried
threatening me to get it back. Had me meet with an ex LAPD
in Orange County acting like he wanted to buy it. And then
played a bunch of bullshit games. I guess that's when he got the idea
that he might as well put his own out. You can tell that
all of the tapes on his site were filmed by someone else.
With the intent of selling them. Tom made these tapes. And he put them
out on his own. I have the original of him and his fiance from
two years ago. And as much as he talks about not being gay, On my tape
he gives a blowjob to a dildo and talks about how good he is at it.
There is also other footage of him and his band rehearsing. And him talking shit about several other celebrities, such as Kobe Bryant and the one-armed drummer from Def Leppard. If these other tapes sell or someone has a site that promotes them and is interested in a tape no one else has please email me or reply here.

that would be nice to c.

EviLSuperstaR · 10-21-2005, 02:45 AM

Sad what famous druggies need to do to finance their personal habits

08-25-2005, 05:51 PM	#1
JohnW Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: under your bed Posts: 642	The best Tom Sizemore sex tape review yet! "At a Glance: Not since Limp Bizkit auteur Fred Durst's camera phone puked onto the Internet has a celebrity sex tape been less welcome. Tom Sizemore famously dated and famously beat the shit out of celebrity madam Heidi Fleiss - an act I think anyone who has ever seen an interview with Fleiss can easily forgive - so the fact that he fucks hookers and films it really doesn't come as a huge surprise. Expected or not, this elaborate and expensive (in more ways than one) collection of homegrown porn is redolent with the intertwining stenches of failure and humiliation. Sizemore explains he is a "grower not a shower" and then spends minutes complaining about how he can't achieve an erection because of a looming court case. His drug-fueled soliloquies about how he is "not smart, but not really stupid" or his explanation of a squirt gun containing his semen will loom like storm clouds in the mind of any casting director. The proverbial truth is out there: Tom Sizemore is a giant fucking idiot. Nation of Origin: Hollywood, a nation unto itself. Languages: The stumbling semi-coherent language that only booze and opiate addicts speak mixed with the harpy-like squawks of paid escorts. Sexual Content: Time Sizemore eats more assholes than a giant alligator set loose in Washington." Read the entire fabulous review here: http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=3156 J.

08-25-2005, 05:53 PM	#2
XPays Team Player Join Date: May 2004 Location: Inside the most accurately counting and reporting affiliate system in the world at XPays.com Posts: 13,002	no review is complete without a plug: http://XXXTom.com see what all the fuss is about __________________ InterNext Expo Domain Auction Live Now thru Feb 5 HuntingMoon GFY Domains Marketplace is LIVE XPays always pays! Top Site: * RealJasmine.com * + HotelHeiress® with The Paris Hilton Sex Video Insert the HotelHeiress® HD FEED into your members areas XPin.com Opening for Pin Partners Soonish Mainstream Offers For Emailers and DomainersNONADULT.COM Like Us!

08-25-2005, 05:57 PM	#5
Tytan Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Somewhere over the rainbow Posts: 1,391	Talking of Tom Lock Up was on tv tonight good film, funny how the newspaper printed his name instead of Sly. __________________ Adult Webmaster/Pharmacy/Mortgage/Casino/General opt-in email lists for sale - full data ---------REFERENCES AVAILABLE----------- ------------------------------------------------ Adult opt-in bases for sale icq@261453175

08-25-2005, 05:59 PM	#6
XPays Team Player Join Date: May 2004 Location: Inside the most accurately counting and reporting affiliate system in the world at XPays.com Posts: 13,002	the tom "craze" is all about the buzz followed by more buzz - sales are steady and traffic is heavy. __________________ InterNext Expo Domain Auction Live Now thru Feb 5 HuntingMoon GFY Domains Marketplace is LIVE XPays always pays! Top Site: * RealJasmine.com * + HotelHeiress® with The Paris Hilton Sex Video Insert the HotelHeiress® HD FEED into your members areas XPin.com Opening for Pin Partners Soonish Mainstream Offers For Emailers and DomainersNONADULT.COM Like Us!

08-25-2005, 06:01 PM	#7
XPays Team Player Join Date: May 2004 Location: Inside the most accurately counting and reporting affiliate system in the world at XPays.com Posts: 13,002	__________________ InterNext Expo Domain Auction Live Now thru Feb 5 HuntingMoon GFY Domains Marketplace is LIVE XPays always pays! Top Site: * RealJasmine.com * + HotelHeiress® with The Paris Hilton Sex Video Insert the HotelHeiress® HD FEED into your members areas XPin.com Opening for Pin Partners Soonish Mainstream Offers For Emailers and DomainersNONADULT.COM Like Us!

08-25-2005, 05:54 PM	#3
cali_22 Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Whistler BC Posts: 2,330	hes a Pig 4 sure

08-25-2005, 06:02 PM	#8
Tytan Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Somewhere over the rainbow Posts: 1,391	Xpay you banking good $$$$$$?? __________________ Adult Webmaster/Pharmacy/Mortgage/Casino/General opt-in email lists for sale - full data ---------REFERENCES AVAILABLE----------- ------------------------------------------------ Adult opt-in bases for sale icq@261453175

08-25-2005, 06:03 PM	#9
JohnW Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: under your bed Posts: 642	""I've never had an STD in my life." Sizemore coos romantically while still lying atop the girl he was screwing. "I want to say, just for the record: I have cancer of the pancreas and I have cancer of the brain, but I don't have Chlamydia. You know what I have cancer of? I have cancer of the police. What day is?it's Friday, right? I'm hoping that over the weekend 23 cops are murdered. I hope they have lots of kids." nice... J.

08-25-2005, 06:06 PM	#12
s9ann0 Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Boston Posts: 4,873	yer i mean my first reaction was tom sizemore who the fuck is that? then when I worked out who he was I just thought why the fuck would anyone wanna see him ? the whole celebrity men sex tape thing just isn't working for me

08-25-2005, 06:06 PM	#13
datatank Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: My dog is blacker than Tupac Posts: 5,471

08-25-2005, 06:07 PM	#15
JohnW Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: under your bed Posts: 642	"Lana searches off-camera for the bag while Kara straddles Sizemore's face. He moans and slurps like a burn patient eating soup through a straw. "And then?" Lana asks after having located the bag. "I think the drugs are in there," coaches Kara. "And then we're gonna talk about something that's against the law, besides this here," Sizemore pauses from his oral activities. "Especially this girl?this is called cunnilingus or fellatio, I'm not sure. One of them means I'm not a faggot and one of them means I'm a faggot. So whichever one of them means I'm not a faggot?Oh! Nothing against you faggots, I want?you to like me too." Sizemore gleefully gets up, his small flaccid penis flopping around like a bee-stung thumb tip. "Hey my dick is short, huh? I'm a grower not a shower. I'm an egomaniac." Priceless... J.

08-25-2005, 06:09 PM	#17
datatank Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: My dog is blacker than Tupac Posts: 5,471

08-25-2005, 06:11 PM	#18
XPays Team Player Join Date: May 2004 Location: Inside the most accurately counting and reporting affiliate system in the world at XPays.com Posts: 13,002	__________________ InterNext Expo Domain Auction Live Now thru Feb 5 HuntingMoon GFY Domains Marketplace is LIVE XPays always pays! Top Site: * RealJasmine.com * + HotelHeiress® with The Paris Hilton Sex Video Insert the HotelHeiress® HD FEED into your members areas XPin.com Opening for Pin Partners Soonish Mainstream Offers For Emailers and DomainersNONADULT.COM Like Us!

08-25-2005, 06:55 PM	#21
nico-t emperor of my world Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: nethalands Posts: 29,903	now THAT was a great review haha funny shit

08-25-2005, 06:56 PM	#22
BigCashCrew Dude Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 465	haha, that is funny, now I have to see this thing __________________ BIG CASH Crew Switch programs at ANY time REAL TIME STATS

08-25-2005, 07:08 PM	#23
reed_4 Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 9,640	Tom wants to be a famous porn superstar that's why he's doing his best to get people's attention on him. __________________

08-25-2005, 08:21 PM	#24
tucker Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: LA Posts: 584	This is some priceless material; a real life look inside an actors mind and then some. Though the review is interesting, you really have to hear how this plays, it?s damn funny. ?Oh, alright, what would you say? Hey, stop it, how dare you! I'm unmarried, I don't have a girlfriend, why do you want to do this to me? Why are you offending my sense of?mmm?why is she doing this to me? What's wrong with her? She has a disease! It's called co-a cock-she's a cock sucker.? ?Its February 2003 I dyed my hair at Rancho Labree?you know what else I did, I had sex and your not supposed to cause its rehab but I didn?t think my dick needed any rehab.? That one scene where a girl is on the bed and she cums, the chicks ass winks at the camera for a good minute?nice ending. Like J$tyles said, a cult classic!

08-25-2005, 10:17 PM	#26
PixeLs Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 11,922	Now I beleive he is really that wild... __________________ Make money on any traffic. Bi-weekly payments with no hold.

08-25-2005, 10:40 PM	#27
je_rome Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 6,846	that fruitcake just wants to ride on the bandwagon of sex tapes. __________________ Make money on any traffic. Join KlikRevenue.com Today!

08-25-2005, 10:46 PM	#28
D-Money Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Player Del Ray Posts: 9,716	An instant cult classic for sure. __________________ Still Ballin'

08-25-2005, 10:56 PM	#30
phogirl69 Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 3,330	We want to see the David Beckham sex tape!! We want! We want!

08-25-2005, 10:59 PM	#32
eroswebmaster March 1st, 2003 Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Seat 4 @ Venetian Poker Room Posts: 20,295	Get your links up. Xpays...it's WIGGERIFIC! __________________ For rent - ICQ 127-027-910 Click here for more details

08-25-2005, 11:28 PM	#36
BlackCrayon Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Ottawa Posts: 19,631	lol hes hilarious. can't believe people are paying to see it tho. __________________ you don't know you're wearing a leash if you sit by the peg all day..

08-25-2005, 11:51 PM	#38
XPays Team Player Join Date: May 2004 Location: Inside the most accurately counting and reporting affiliate system in the world at XPays.com Posts: 13,002	the sphinctor puckering is pretty cool in broadband __________________ InterNext Expo Domain Auction Live Now thru Feb 5 HuntingMoon GFY Domains Marketplace is LIVE XPays always pays! Top Site: * RealJasmine.com * + HotelHeiress® with The Paris Hilton Sex Video Insert the HotelHeiress® HD FEED into your members areas XPin.com Opening for Pin Partners Soonish Mainstream Offers For Emailers and DomainersNONADULT.COM Like Us!

09-12-2005, 12:51 AM	#41
lilokster Registered User Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 3	Another Tom Sizemore Sex Tape I tried putting out a Tom Sizemore sextape about 2 years ago. I couldn't find too many people interested in it. Tom tried threatening me to get it back. Had me meet with an ex LAPD in Orange County acting like he wanted to buy it. And then played a bunch of bullshit games. I guess that's when he got the idea that he might as well put his own out. You can tell that all of the tapes on his site were filmed by someone else. With the intent of selling them. Tom made these tapes. And he put them out on his own. I have the original of him and his fiance from two years ago. And as much as he talks about not being gay, On my tape he gives a blowjob to a dildo and talks about how good he is at it. There is also other footage of him and his band rehearsing. And him talking shit about several other celebrities, such as Kobe Bryant and the one-armed drummer from Def Leppard. If these other tapes sell or someone has a site that promotes them and is interested in a tape no one else has please email me or reply here.

10-21-2005, 02:45 AM	#43
EviLSuperstaR Confirmed User Join Date: May 2004 Location: Right next to you Posts: 804	Sad what famous druggies need to do to finance their personal habits