Sticking It in the Shitbox - GoFuckYourself.com

Shotsie · 08-02-2012, 09:28 AM

After watching that "poop noodle" video someone posted on here the other day, I started thinking about anal sex; more specifically, what a letdown it is. Now, I've only had anal sex a couple of times. A couple times with an ex-girlfriend who really liked it and got off on it. This means it was no fun. Another time with a different ex who let me try it once; she kind of whimpered and cried, "I don't like this," in this regressive voice of a child who refuses to finish all the broccoli on their dinner plate. I laughed. The thing is, you expect a maddeningly tight hole that grips your dick vice-like as the girl?s body involuntarily tries to shove it out in terror. A pinhole that draws back horrified from your encroaching meat, that when finally forced to yield is like conquering a ten year old schoolgirl?s hairless virgin cooch in the field hockey locker room. But no, it?s just another hole. Less than another hole ? there?s about a half inch of tightness around the actual butthole, but the actual inside of the intestines is like an airplane hangar; only one side of your dick is ever touching weird ridged tissue at any given time. The further you penetrate, the more your helmet is just gasping in open air.

Plus, it?s disgusting, obviously, to think of sticking your dick in shit. The dick you meticulously lather thrice each morning with Lever 2000 and delicately scrub down, so it?s as clean as a newborn baby when it drops into a fresh pair of boxer briefs. Sticking your dick in a shitty ass is like stepping in dog crap in dress shoes ? you may, gagging, scrub the offending waste off, but the shoes will forever have just a touch of uncleanliness about them. If you pull your dick out of an ass and see shit, you will become Lady Macbeth. It will be forever tainted. If a girl sucks you off and then tries to kiss you, you will imagine her mouth as a dog's dirty asshole, pink and puckering and rimmed with tiny black crumbs, with perhaps a lone worm squirming out.

So I?m not into it. But I'm into the fantasy of it - I enjoy beating off to porn with anal sex in it, and I beat my meat to fantasies about taking a girl in the shitpipe. But only if she doesn?t like it. Only if she has to be gently coaxed into it by some slimy bastard, and when his oversized cock finally pokes through the wall after teasing it, she cries and feels ashamed. That?s what?s hot about anal sex. The fact that girls don?t like it. The fact that it?s a virginity you might take, in a world where every girl on the planet has had more cock inside her than Colonel Sanders? barn ? one last piece of innocence and chastity you can rob from a reluctant dewey-eyed maiden, in an act that will hurt and soil her forever. Now she?s one of those girls - those whores who take it in the ass.

And also the idea of a girl surrendering every hole in her body to you is pretty hot. Completely giving up everything she has as a pleasure toy and fuckslave. As a piece of dehumanized property whose only motive and purpose in life is to please you. That?s hot. Her position of total vulnerability, on all fours proffering her ass up like some elderly woman?s overly-friendly cat ? saying take me, take whatever I have, whatever I am; take me and use me for what you want, regardless of how it hurts me. That?s hot. In real life when you pull your dick out and there?s a half digested piece of spinach on it, less so.

MediaGuy · 08-02-2012, 09:36 AM

OMG nothing to comment but I lol'ed like a bastard. Fun post!

:D

v4 media · 08-02-2012, 09:44 AM

Damn long post.

fuck it a hole is a hole, whatevers closest I'm going in.

ottopottomouse · 08-02-2012, 10:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shotsie

Her position of total vulnerability, on all fours proffering her ass up like some elderly woman?s overly-friendly cat

purescotty · 08-02-2012, 10:25 AM

This is one of the most impressive things I have ever read, mind blown.

Itchy · 08-02-2012, 10:27 AM

Thanks !!!

ShoeBox · 08-02-2012, 10:31 AM

oh shitbox not shoebox carry on

spazlabz · 08-02-2012, 10:36 AM

that was an extremely entertaining and very well written post. I enjoyed it thoroughly, thanks for sharing it

CurrentlySober · 08-02-2012, 11:00 AM

My Board Tracker just exploded...

seeandsee · 08-02-2012, 11:10 AM

if she like, i stick in that hole!

Shotsie · 08-02-2012, 04:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by v4 media

Damn long post.

fuck it a hole is a hole, whatevers closest I'm going in.

As long as there's a little heat in there, right?

Quote:

Originally Posted by ottopottomouse

Quote:

Originally Posted by purescotty

This is one of the most impressive things I have ever read, mind blown.

Quote:

Originally Posted by spazlabz

that was an extremely entertaining and very well written post. I enjoyed it thoroughly, thanks for sharing it

Thank you! I figured I would get a bunch of these, like every other time I post something longer than a paragraph.

Quote:

Originally Posted by CurrentlySober

My Board Tracker just exploded...

Sorry bout that.

d-null · 08-02-2012, 04:53 PM

so I guess for you DATO with a girl is completely out of the question?

Vapid - BANNED FOR LIFE · 08-02-2012, 04:58 PM

I didn't read lol

SiMpLe · 08-02-2012, 05:00 PM

You need to write books - That was brilliant lmao

Bill8 · 08-02-2012, 05:25 PM

I thought everybody already knew all that about anal sex.

your fear of shit tho is kinda silly. fastidious males, lol.

and you gloss over out the part about how some girls like it and get off on it bigtime.

but, it's true, most guys just totally do not understand anal, and are squeamish about it because of shit fears.

and, that the asshole is tight is a kind of myth.

The Heron · 08-02-2012, 05:29 PM

I should print this out and give it to all the girls at the bar that ask me why men like anal sex. I tell em it's about power and control but they don't get it. Bitches be stupid.

epitome · 08-02-2012, 05:33 PM

Because the hole she bleeds from and pushes rejected tissue through is that much more appealing.

Bill8 · 08-02-2012, 05:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Heron

I should print this out and give it to all the girls at the bar that ask me why men like anal sex. I tell em it's about power and control but they don't get it. Bitches be stupid.

so, your goal then is to teach girls to avoid anal in the future?

makes sense.

ruff · 08-02-2012, 05:40 PM

I still like to fuck them in the ass though. You got to cum in all three holes to own them, don't you know?

Spunky · 08-02-2012, 05:52 PM

All the chicks dig a good rump fuck,they just wont admit it

Lewis_T · 08-02-2012, 06:09 PM

Well written, I was laughing the whole way through, im just gona park here in the hope of another anal shitbox rant follow up :P

xXXtesy10 · 08-02-2012, 06:14 PM

What a bunch,of well..... Fucking shit

AllAboutCams · 08-02-2012, 06:19 PM

eeewwwwwwww

TisMe · 08-02-2012, 09:27 PM

You must be pooped after writing all that.

Diomed · 08-02-2012, 11:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shotsie

that when finally forced to yield is like conquering a ten year old schoolgirl?s hairless virgin cooch in the field hockey locker room. But no, it?s just another hole.

I laughed, because it's wrong.

facialfreak · 08-03-2012, 12:45 AM

Anal Sex in the morning is the BEST!!

.
.
.

.
......... unless you're in jail

Double trouble · 08-03-2012, 01:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by facialfreak

Anal Sex in the morning is the BEST!!

.
.
.

.
......... unless you're in jail

Shotsie · 08-06-2012, 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by d-null

so I guess for you DATO with a girl is completely out of the question?

I don't even know what that is.

Quote:

Originally Posted by epitome

Because the hole she bleeds from and pushes rejected tissue through is that much more appealing.

Don't knock it till you try it.

shameless self-bump

Achmed's Wife Halimah · 08-07-2012, 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by purescotty

This is one of the most impressive things I have ever read, mind blown.

Halimah agree with you.

digitalfantasies · 08-07-2012, 02:49 PM

Nice post man! You certainly have some writing skills! I laughed a lot too, and some thing are very recognizable!

Thanks for sharing

L-Pink · 08-07-2012, 02:58 PM

Nothing beats ass fucking a girl that is tied with her ass in the air.

.

Achmed's Wife Halimah · 08-07-2012, 03:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by digitalfantasies

Nice post man! You certainly have some writing skills!

very funny this Shotsie.

rastan · 08-07-2012, 03:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shotsie

In real life when you pull your dick out and there?s a half digested piece of spinach on it, less so.

RobertL · 08-07-2012, 03:37 PM

Has anyone here read Vice's Guide to Anal Sex? Pretty fucking hilarious. My favorite section:

THE BROWN CAVE
After massaging becomes totally commonplace you can occasionally inject a well-lubed pinkie in there when shes cumming. This is called the Trojan Pinkie Pavlov Horse or "TPPH" for short (pronounced by making a fart sound with your mouth).

You are going to notice some weird things in there. First of all theres a lot more room, than you expected. Once you get past the bouncers, its a roomy club. Thats why butt plugs are cinched where the anus goes but are all big where the rectum is. You may also notice a very prominent pulsating vein. I have no idea what the fuck that is. Its a vein. Probably a good way to check someones pulse if they have fat wrists because the thing is like "bong, bong, bong, bong." Dont worry about the vein.

The third thing you may or may not notice is a little soft finger poking back at you. Like a squishy little Turkish ET. That is a piece of poo. Dont tell her you felt that or shell be all grossed out. Just treat it like a pussy fart and pretend it never happened. Incidentally, the poo finger means you are going to get some shit on your cock. Youre probably wearing a condom anyway but if you arent, get to the bathroom the second you are done. DO NOT PASS OUT! Waking up hungover with a shit encrusted foreskin is a dangerous way to hit the showers. The hot water reactivates the stench and your already delicate stomach will kick food out of your body like a shovel throwing dirt.

http://www.mint400.net/mint_2004-200...-anal-sex.html

The Dawg · 08-07-2012, 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by facialfreak

Anal Sex in the morning is the BEST!!

.
.
.

.
......... unless you're in jail

Thats funny.

teennutsuckers · 08-07-2012, 03:55 PM

Anal will always be the best

allasianmedia · 08-08-2012, 10:44 AM

Hilarious and very well written!

08-02-2012, 09:28 AM	#1
Shotsie Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: 12th & Tree Posts: 1,208	Sticking It in the Shitbox After watching that "poop noodle" video someone posted on here the other day, I started thinking about anal sex; more specifically, what a letdown it is. Now, I've only had anal sex a couple of times. A couple times with an ex-girlfriend who really liked it and got off on it. This means it was no fun. Another time with a different ex who let me try it once; she kind of whimpered and cried, "I don't like this," in this regressive voice of a child who refuses to finish all the broccoli on their dinner plate. I laughed. The thing is, you expect a maddeningly tight hole that grips your dick vice-like as the girl?s body involuntarily tries to shove it out in terror. A pinhole that draws back horrified from your encroaching meat, that when finally forced to yield is like conquering a ten year old schoolgirl?s hairless virgin cooch in the field hockey locker room. But no, it?s just another hole. Less than another hole ? there?s about a half inch of tightness around the actual butthole, but the actual inside of the intestines is like an airplane hangar; only one side of your dick is ever touching weird ridged tissue at any given time. The further you penetrate, the more your helmet is just gasping in open air. Plus, it?s disgusting, obviously, to think of sticking your dick in shit. The dick you meticulously lather thrice each morning with Lever 2000 and delicately scrub down, so it?s as clean as a newborn baby when it drops into a fresh pair of boxer briefs. Sticking your dick in a shitty ass is like stepping in dog crap in dress shoes ? you may, gagging, scrub the offending waste off, but the shoes will forever have just a touch of uncleanliness about them. If you pull your dick out of an ass and see shit, you will become Lady Macbeth. It will be forever tainted. If a girl sucks you off and then tries to kiss you, you will imagine her mouth as a dog's dirty asshole, pink and puckering and rimmed with tiny black crumbs, with perhaps a lone worm squirming out. So I?m not into it. But I'm into the fantasy of it - I enjoy beating off to porn with anal sex in it, and I beat my meat to fantasies about taking a girl in the shitpipe. But only if she doesn?t like it. Only if she has to be gently coaxed into it by some slimy bastard, and when his oversized cock finally pokes through the wall after teasing it, she cries and feels ashamed. That?s what?s hot about anal sex. The fact that girls don?t like it. The fact that it?s a virginity you might take, in a world where every girl on the planet has had more cock inside her than Colonel Sanders? barn ? one last piece of innocence and chastity you can rob from a reluctant dewey-eyed maiden, in an act that will hurt and soil her forever. Now she?s one of those girls - those whores who take it in the ass. And also the idea of a girl surrendering every hole in her body to you is pretty hot. Completely giving up everything she has as a pleasure toy and fuckslave. As a piece of dehumanized property whose only motive and purpose in life is to please you. That?s hot. Her position of total vulnerability, on all fours proffering her ass up like some elderly woman?s overly-friendly cat ? saying take me, take whatever I have, whatever I am; take me and use me for what you want, regardless of how it hurts me. That?s hot. In real life when you pull your dick out and there?s a half digested piece of spinach on it, less so.

08-02-2012, 09:36 AM	#2
MediaGuy Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Montrealquebecanada Posts: 5,500	OMG nothing to comment but I lol'ed like a bastard. Fun post! :D __________________ YOU Are Industry News! Press Releases: pr[at]payoutmag.com Facebook: Payout Magazine! Facebook: MIKEB! ICQ: 248843947 Skype: Mediaguy1

08-02-2012, 10:27 AM	#6
Itchy Datetronix.com Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Chill-A-Wack BC Posts: 6,524	Thanks !!! __________________ ICQ: 2588560 Skype: Pornocop

08-02-2012, 11:00 AM	#9
CurrentlySober Too lazy to wipe my ass Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: A Public Bathroom Posts: 38,567	My Board Tracker just exploded... __________________ My AI Handywork... My Dream Gal... XXX 👁️ 👍️ 💩

08-02-2012, 11:10 AM	#10
seeandsee Check SIG! Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Europe (Skype: gojkoas) Posts: 50,945	if she like, i stick in that hole! __________________ BUY MY SIG - 50$/Year Contact here

08-02-2012, 09:44 AM	#3
v4 media Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Spain Posts: 2,934	Damn long post. fuck it a hole is a hole, whatevers closest I'm going in.

08-02-2012, 10:25 AM	#5
purescotty Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: San Diego Posts: 380	This is one of the most impressive things I have ever read, mind blown.

08-02-2012, 10:31 AM	#7
ShoeBox So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: May 2012 Location: Brazil Posts: 2,056	oh shitbox not shoebox carry on

08-02-2012, 10:36 AM	#8
spazlabz Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Kentucky Posts: 6,548	that was an extremely entertaining and very well written post. I enjoyed it thoroughly, thanks for sharing it

08-02-2012, 04:53 PM	#12
d-null . . . Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: NY Posts: 13,724	so I guess for you DATO with a girl is completely out of the question?

08-02-2012, 04:58 PM	#13
Vapid - BANNED FOR LIFE Barterer Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 4,864	I didn't read lol

08-02-2012, 05:00 PM	#14
SiMpLe Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Porn Central - California Posts: 3,221	You need to write books - That was brilliant lmao __________________ Sean Holland Vice President OrbitalPay / Global Electronic Technology (GET) SKYPE: iam.sean ::: sholland at orbitalpay.com 888-775-1500

08-02-2012, 05:25 PM	#15
Bill8 Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 1,901	I thought everybody already knew all that about anal sex. your fear of shit tho is kinda silly. fastidious males, lol. and you gloss over out the part about how some girls like it and get off on it bigtime. but, it's true, most guys just totally do not understand anal, and are squeamish about it because of shit fears. and, that the asshole is tight is a kind of myth.

08-02-2012, 05:29 PM	#16
The Heron Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Michigan Posts: 4,487	I should print this out and give it to all the girls at the bar that ask me why men like anal sex. I tell em it's about power and control but they don't get it. Bitches be stupid.

08-02-2012, 05:33 PM	#17
epitome So Fucking Lame Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: St. Petersburg, FL Posts: 12,156	Because the hole she bleeds from and pushes rejected tissue through is that much more appealing.

08-02-2012, 05:40 PM	#19
ruff I have a plan B Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Seattle - Miami - St Kitts Posts: 5,501	I still like to fuck them in the ass though. You got to cum in all three holes to own them, don't you know? __________________ CryptoFeeds

08-02-2012, 05:52 PM	#20
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,934	All the chicks dig a good rump fuck,they just wont admit it __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

08-02-2012, 06:09 PM	#21
Lewis_T Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Australia Posts: 361	Well written, I was laughing the whole way through, im just gona park here in the hope of another anal shitbox rant follow up :P __________________ Lewis FuckYouCash.com \| BoyProfits.com \| PrettyInCash.com \|\| WePreachPorn.com Email: lewis /at/ fuckyoucash /dot/ com \|\| lewis /at/ wepreachporn /dot/ com ICQ: 338-009-296

08-02-2012, 06:14 PM	#22
xXXtesy10 Fakecoin Investor Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: New Delhi, IN Posts: 7,127	What a bunch,of well..... Fucking shit

08-02-2012, 06:19 PM	#23
AllAboutCams Femcams.com Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: bjcam.com Posts: 12,221	eeewwwwwwww __________________ Binance - Blockchain and Crypto Asset Exchange Chaturbate make money in cams

08-02-2012, 09:27 PM	#24
TisMe Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 1,719	You must be pooped after writing all that.

08-03-2012, 12:45 AM	#26
facialfreak Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Montreal Posts: 3,018	Anal Sex in the morning is the BEST!! . . . . ......... unless you're in jail __________________ Managed Shared Hosting starting at $4.99/mo Managed VPS starting at $29.99/mo

08-07-2012, 02:49 PM	#30
digitalfantasies Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Caribbean Posts: 2,691	Nice post man! You certainly have some writing skills! I laughed a lot too, and some thing are very recognizable! Thanks for sharing __________________

08-07-2012, 02:58 PM	#31
L-Pink working on my tan Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Florida/Kentucky Posts: 39,151	Nothing beats ass fucking a girl that is tied with her ass in the air. .

08-07-2012, 03:37 PM	#34
RobertL Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2012 Posts: 211	Has anyone here read Vice's Guide to Anal Sex? Pretty fucking hilarious. My favorite section: THE BROWN CAVE After massaging becomes totally commonplace you can occasionally inject a well-lubed pinkie in there when shes cumming. This is called the Trojan Pinkie Pavlov Horse or "TPPH" for short (pronounced by making a fart sound with your mouth). You are going to notice some weird things in there. First of all theres a lot more room, than you expected. Once you get past the bouncers, its a roomy club. Thats why butt plugs are cinched where the anus goes but are all big where the rectum is. You may also notice a very prominent pulsating vein. I have no idea what the fuck that is. Its a vein. Probably a good way to check someones pulse if they have fat wrists because the thing is like "bong, bong, bong, bong." Dont worry about the vein. The third thing you may or may not notice is a little soft finger poking back at you. Like a squishy little Turkish ET. That is a piece of poo. Dont tell her you felt that or shell be all grossed out. Just treat it like a pussy fart and pretend it never happened. Incidentally, the poo finger means you are going to get some shit on your cock. Youre probably wearing a condom anyway but if you arent, get to the bathroom the second you are done. DO NOT PASS OUT! Waking up hungover with a shit encrusted foreskin is a dangerous way to hit the showers. The hot water reactivates the stench and your already delicate stomach will kick food out of your body like a shovel throwing dirt. http://www.mint400.net/mint_2004-200...-anal-sex.html __________________ Robert [email protected] ICQ 564-430-405 Skype: robert-ruc

08-07-2012, 03:55 PM	#36
teennutsuckers My Sig was too Big! :( Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2012 Posts: 216	Anal will always be the best

08-08-2012, 10:44 AM	#37
allasianmedia Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: nope Posts: 65	Hilarious and very well written!