5 Steps to acting a real man: - GoFuckYourself.com

MetaMan · 04-03-2015, 04:46 AM

Now i know there is lots of pussy men with small donks on GFY. So i thought id take a time out from my super busy, extremely important schedule to give tips on how to act like a real man (me):

1. Always let out a massive yawn and stretch while taking a piss like you are a god dam bear waking up from hibernation. Bitches love bears. Teddy bears. Gummy bears. Da bears. Just be a man you little cunt.

2. Meat as a side dish with meat. If you want to have your little panzy salad with your steak it better be a god dam steak salad. I didnt reach the top of the food chain to eat like a gay giraffe. Loser.

3. Fuel economy is for pussies. I want to smell the oil. Nothing gets a dime piece wetter then the sound of an engine burning a god dam hole in the o-zone. Punch the gas all blaze through the playground zone while flipping all those little punks the bird.

4. Lift weights non stop. get off the computer runt and slam a hard set. Im either pumped up or pimped up. You choose little man.

5. Park in pregnant women spots at the mall. She needs the excersize. Trust me. And anyway her egg is taken. You have no use for her. A man cant get pregnant. So why give special treatment?

Follow these simple steps. And soon you will be your full potential as a man. (5% of my manliness)

Mediamix · 04-03-2015, 04:52 AM

Thanks for these great tips!
Finally I can become the man I always wanted to be.

MetaMan · 04-03-2015, 04:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mediamix

Thanks for these great tips!
Finally I can become the man I always wanted to be.

Thats the kind of can do attitude i like to hear! Youre hired!

Juicy D. Links · 04-03-2015, 05:01 AM

my car gets 7 mpg .....HIGHWAY..

Feels good to be gangsta

CurrentlySober · 04-03-2015, 05:05 AM

aka123 · 04-03-2015, 05:06 AM

Thanks, but I better not to overact like you, as then everybody would think I am gay. With these tips only 5 % will think I am gay, and the rest are fooled about me being a real man. Superb.

MetaMan · 04-03-2015, 05:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Juicy D. Links

my car gets 7 mpg .....HIGHWAY..

Feels good to be gangsta

Oh YEAH!

Thats how a real man rolls! Im in the gas station so often they know me by first name.

I got enough petro points for a free car wash for a lifetime.

MetaMan · 04-03-2015, 05:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aka123

Thanks, but I better not to overact like you, as then everybody would think I am gay. With these tips only 5 % will think I am gay, and the rest are fooled about me being a real man. Superb.

Shut your god dam mouth you annoying hippy!

You annoy everyone. Including the mirror for having to reflect your stupid face.

aka123 · 04-03-2015, 05:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MetaMan

Shut your god dam mouth you annoying hippy!

You annoy everyone. Including the mirror for having to reflect your stupid face.

Your "real man" answer is more like angry teenage girl's.

Keep working on with the acting.

Harmon · 04-03-2015, 05:54 AM

Fucking MetaMan always makes me fucking laugh

Quote:

I didnt reach the top of the food chain to eat like a gay giraffe. Loser.

L-Pink · 04-03-2015, 06:00 AM

Don't forget letting that big long fart out towards the end of your morning piss. Let's the girl know you don't give a fuck.

bronco67 · 04-03-2015, 06:37 AM

I have to give you props for maintaining this charade for so long without breaking character. I'll add one:

When standing at the urinal, don't try to almost crawl inside so no one will look at your tiny dick. Stand at least one foot away from the urinal and be proud of what you've got. The extra benefit is you don't have to put your shoes in the puddle of piss that's always directly beneath the urinal.

MetaMan · 04-03-2015, 11:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Harmon

Fucking MetaMan always makes me fucking laugh

Quote:

Originally Posted by bronco67

I have to give you props for maintaining this charade for so long without breaking character. I'll add one:

When standing at the urinal, don't try to almost crawl inside so no one will look at your tiny dick. Stand at least one foot away from the urinal and be proud of what you've got. The extra benefit is you don't have to put your shoes in the puddle of piss that's always directly beneath the urinal.

What charade are you talking about?

Hmmm this makes me question, do you do this to show other guys your cock?

bronco67 · 04-03-2015, 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MetaMan

What charade are you talking about?

Hmmm this makes me question, do you do this to show other guys your cock?

haha, if someone wants to look, then that's their own issue they have to deal with.

TwinCities · 04-03-2015, 11:27 AM

This is THE definitive guide on The Art of Manliness

dyna mo · 04-03-2015, 11:28 AM

so when will you be taking these steps?

MetaMan · 04-03-2015, 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dyna mo

so when will you be taking these steps?

When was the last time you got lay'd? And i don't mean by a bag of potato chips.

dyna mo · 04-03-2015, 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MetaMan

When was the last time you got lay'd? And i don't mean by a bag of potato chips.

are you flirting with me? awkward.

MetaMan · 04-03-2015, 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dyna mo

are you flirting with me? awkward.

No sorry i am not.

I'm almost sure the closest thing to you having sex in the passed year is a fat chick sitting on your lap by accident at the bus stop.

dyna mo · 04-03-2015, 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MetaMan

No sorry i am not.

I'm almost sure the closest thing to you having sex in the passed year is a fat chick sitting on your lap by accident at the bus stop.

if you want to spend your time wondering if dyna mo gets laid, enjoy your weekend doing so!

but that will only get in the way of you working on acting like a man.

CaptainHowdy · 04-03-2015, 01:30 PM

That's playing GTA 5 ...

JD · 04-03-2015, 01:52 PM

My dick gets 2mpg

VikingMan · 04-03-2015, 01:58 PM

You left out farting and belching in public and being proud of it instead of hiding it.

Also every man needs a chainsaw, it just makes you feel good fondling it.

And of course you need a 12 gauge shotgun

a good dog like a black lab

Struggle4Bucks · 04-03-2015, 02:43 PM

Today i bought at the local butchery:

-3 nice 300 gram steaks of tenderloin
-1 piece of range chicken breast
-4 large german style veal cutlets

... and I paid with my head up "ok... it's only 69 euro's?" like a real MAN...

dyna mo · 04-03-2015, 02:53 PM

btw, fucking with ya, mm, which is #6 on the list.

420 · 04-03-2015, 02:59 PM

I can't act

baddog · 04-03-2015, 03:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 420

I can't act

I was going to suggest that if you are a real man you have no need to fake it or "act" like a real man; it just happens.

RyuLion · 04-03-2015, 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by baddog

I was going to suggest that if you are a real man you have no need to fake it or "act" like a real man; it just happens.

bronco67 · 04-03-2015, 07:52 PM

I did #2 tonight.

Ribs with a side dish of hot wings.

L-Pink · 04-03-2015, 08:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bronco67

I did #2 tonight.

Ribs with a side dish of hot wings.

Tonight I had a meat platter at a riverfront BBQ joint. Ribs, sausage, pulled pork. I feel great

420 · 04-03-2015, 08:05 PM

You guys are making me hungry. Ribs and sausage are excellent side meats. The original idea of steak with steak salad sounds pretty good right about now too.

bronco67 · 04-03-2015, 08:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 420

You guys are making me hungry. Ribs and sausage are excellent side meats. The original idea of steak with steak salad sounds pretty good right about now too.

Nothing fucks up a steak dinner like having a salad directly before it.

onwebcam · 04-03-2015, 09:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Struggle4Bucks

Today i bought at the local butchery:

-3 nice 300 gram steaks of tenderloin
-1 piece of range chicken breast
-4 large german style veal cutlets

... and I paid with my head up "ok... it's only 69 euro's?" like a real MAN...

Real men don't buy steak by the gram. They also don't give a shit if their chicken was free range and veal??? You hosting yuppie potluck?

Spunky · 04-03-2015, 10:53 PM

How does yawning and stretching while taking a piss make you a better man? wouldn't a huge shat on her towels be good enough?

EddyTheDog · 04-03-2015, 11:05 PM

1. Be cool with your feminine side...

sandman! · 04-03-2015, 11:32 PM

LetterTwenty7 · 04-04-2015, 02:26 AM

I just came here to read the comments :D

MetaMan · 04-04-2015, 04:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Struggle4Bucks

Today i bought at the local butchery:

-3 nice 300 gram steaks of tenderloin
-1 piece of range chicken breast
-4 large german style veal cutlets

... and I paid with my head up "ok... it's only 69 euro's?" like a real MAN...

Normally i may not let this pass. But you are trying to let your inner man out. And i can respect this.

Here is a tip the steak size should be so big that you know its mama its moo'ing up in steak heaven. Even if I don't finish the steak (which has only happened 1 time in my entire life) I will feed it to the wolves out back.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bronco67

I did #2 tonight.

Ribs with a side dish of hot wings.

Slab some god dam hot sauce all over it. The more the better. I want my chicken wings so dam hot that everyone else is whining like little sissy pants that they can't eat them.

Quote:

Originally Posted by L-Pink

Tonight I had a meat platter at a riverfront BBQ joint. Ribs, sausage, pulled pork. I feel great

Struggle4Bucks · 04-04-2015, 06:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onwebcam

Real men don't buy steak by the gram. They also don't give a shit if their chicken was free range and veal??? You hosting yuppie potluck?

Quote:

Originally Posted by MetaMan

Normally i may not let this pass. But you are trying to let your inner man out. And i can respect this.

Here is a tip the steak size should be so big that you know its mama its moo'ing up in steak heaven. Even if I don't finish the steak (which has only happened 1 time in my entire life) I will feed it to the wolves out back.

Ok... now let me explain... before you guys sissificate me

3 pieces of 300 gram is still almost 1 kilogram....

Everyone who respects high quality meat like tenderloin from the butcher knows that you can't take a 1 kilo piece and beat it flat and then grill it. It fucks up the meat. Pieces of 300 gram is the best size to not fuck up the meat when prepared... Grilling a briljant piece of medium rare tenderloin is almost like sience... everything has to be right.... So... if you still think 900 gram of steak is for pussies...

If you don't care about free range and rather have a factory chicken... then you don't care about yourself nor about quality meat and taste. That is for men 1.0. Free range is for UberMen 2.0 that care about what they stuff into their mouths

aka123 · 04-04-2015, 06:37 AM

For real: He-Man is the REAL man, and whatever he does is what REAL man does.

Methane-Mans are only lousy duplicates.

Antonio · 04-04-2015, 06:46 AM

6. Drive in reverse all the time. My car, my rules! You have a problem with that?

SilentKnight · 04-04-2015, 07:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EddyTheDog

1. Be cool with your feminine side...

Sid70 · 04-04-2015, 08:40 AM

Whoever mentioned Euro was ghey. A masculine nature holds on to the US Dollards only.

Ferus · 04-04-2015, 09:02 AM

I got a new chainsaw and have been feeding the woodchipper all day. I could wear a pink dress and still be #2 man on GFY. ( Metaman being #1)

04-03-2015, 05:05 AM	#5
CurrentlySober Too lazy to wipe my ass Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: A Public Bathroom Posts: 38,683	__________________ My AI Handywork... My Dream Gal... XXX 👁️ 👍️ 💩

04-03-2015, 06:37 AM	#12
bronco67 Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 29,032	I have to give you props for maintaining this charade for so long without breaking character. I'll add one: When standing at the urinal, don't try to almost crawl inside so no one will look at your tiny dick. Stand at least one foot away from the urinal and be proud of what you've got. The extra benefit is you don't have to put your shoes in the puddle of piss that's always directly beneath the urinal. __________________

04-03-2015, 01:30 PM	#21
CaptainHowdy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Happy in the dark. Posts: 93,664	That's playing GTA 5 ... __________________ Vacares - Web Hosting, Domains, O365, Security & More - Paxum and BTC Accepted Windows VPS now available Great for TSS, Nifty Stats, remote work, virtual assistants, etc.

04-03-2015, 02:43 PM	#24
Struggle4Bucks Sieg Hi! Industry Role: Join Date: May 2011 Location: Lissabon Posts: 3,615	Today i bought at the local butchery: -3 nice 300 gram steaks of tenderloin -1 piece of range chicken breast -4 large german style veal cutlets ... and I paid with my head up "ok... it's only 69 euro's?" like a real MAN... __________________ Half troll half amazing!

04-03-2015, 07:52 PM	#29
bronco67 Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 29,032	I did #2 tonight. Ribs with a side dish of hot wings. __________________

04-03-2015, 04:46 AM	#1
MetaMan I AM WEB 2.0 Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 28,682	5 Steps to acting a real man: Now i know there is lots of pussy men with small donks on GFY. So i thought id take a time out from my super busy, extremely important schedule to give tips on how to act like a real man (me): 1. Always let out a massive yawn and stretch while taking a piss like you are a god dam bear waking up from hibernation. Bitches love bears. Teddy bears. Gummy bears. Da bears. Just be a man you little cunt. 2. Meat as a side dish with meat. If you want to have your little panzy salad with your steak it better be a god dam steak salad. I didnt reach the top of the food chain to eat like a gay giraffe. Loser. 3. Fuel economy is for pussies. I want to smell the oil. Nothing gets a dime piece wetter then the sound of an engine burning a god dam hole in the o-zone. Punch the gas all blaze through the playground zone while flipping all those little punks the bird. 4. Lift weights non stop. get off the computer runt and slam a hard set. Im either pumped up or pimped up. You choose little man. 5. Park in pregnant women spots at the mall. She needs the excersize. Trust me. And anyway her egg is taken. You have no use for her. A man cant get pregnant. So why give special treatment? Follow these simple steps. And soon you will be your full potential as a man. (5% of my manliness)

04-03-2015, 04:52 AM	#2
Mediamix Dutch Webmaster! Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Netherlands Posts: 3,228	Thanks for these great tips! Finally I can become the man I always wanted to be. __________________ Sig too big

04-03-2015, 05:01 AM	#4
Juicy D. Links So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: N.Y. -Long Island -- Posts: 122,992	my car gets 7 mpg .....HIGHWAY.. Feels good to be gangsta

04-03-2015, 05:06 AM	#6
aka123 Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2014 Location: 64 00 N, 26 00 E Posts: 4,450	Thanks, but I better not to overact like you, as then everybody would think I am gay. With these tips only 5 % will think I am gay, and the rest are fooled about me being a real man. Superb. __________________

04-03-2015, 06:00 AM	#11
L-Pink working on my tan Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Florida/Kentucky Posts: 39,151	Don't forget letting that big long fart out towards the end of your morning piss. Let's the girl know you don't give a fuck.

04-03-2015, 11:27 AM	#15
TwinCities Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 492	This is THE definitive guide on The Art of Manliness

04-03-2015, 11:28 AM	#16
dyna mo The People's Post Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: invisible 7-11 Posts: 65,908	so when will you be taking these steps?

04-03-2015, 01:52 PM	#22
JD Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 22,651	My dick gets 2mpg

04-03-2015, 01:58 PM	#23
VikingMan Exploiting human weakness Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: next to a salmon stream Posts: 6,570	You left out farting and belching in public and being proud of it instead of hiding it. Also every man needs a chainsaw, it just makes you feel good fondling it. And of course you need a 12 gauge shotgun a good dog like a black lab

04-03-2015, 02:53 PM	#25
dyna mo The People's Post Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: invisible 7-11 Posts: 65,908	btw, fucking with ya, mm, which is #6 on the list.

04-03-2015, 02:59 PM	#26
420 cuck Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 11,571	I can't act

04-03-2015, 08:05 PM	#31
420 cuck Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 11,571	You guys are making me hungry. Ribs and sausage are excellent side meats. The original idea of steak with steak salad sounds pretty good right about now too.

04-03-2015, 10:53 PM	#34
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,947	How does yawning and stretching while taking a piss make you a better man? wouldn't a huge shat on her towels be good enough? __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

04-03-2015, 11:05 PM	#35
EddyTheDog Just Doing My Own Thing Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: London, Spain, New Zealand, GFY - Not Croydon... Posts: 25,230	1. Be cool with your feminine side...

04-03-2015, 11:32 PM	#36
sandman! Icq: 14420613 Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: chicago Posts: 15,432	__________________ Need WebHosting ? Email me for some great deals [email protected]

04-04-2015, 02:26 AM	#37
LetterTwenty7 Porn SEO Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2015 Location: EU Posts: 1,816	I just came here to read the comments :D __________________ Success stories of porn webmasters - one click away: Discover how top porn sites grow their organic traffic! [email protected] \| Teams: lettertwenty7 \| Telegram: https://t.me/LT7_Digital

04-04-2015, 06:37 AM	#40
aka123 Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2014 Location: 64 00 N, 26 00 E Posts: 4,450	For real: He-Man is the REAL man, and whatever he does is what REAL man does. Methane-Mans are only lousy duplicates. __________________

04-04-2015, 06:46 AM	#41
Antonio Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Spartaaaaaaaaa Posts: 14,136	6. Drive in reverse all the time. My car, my rules! You have a problem with that?

04-04-2015, 08:40 AM	#43
Sid70 Downshifter Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Road trip Posts: 16,413	Whoever mentioned Euro was ghey. A masculine nature holds on to the US Dollards only. __________________ Русня, идите нахуй!

04-04-2015, 09:02 AM	#44
Ferus Bye - Left to do stuff Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 4,108	I got a new chainsaw and have been feeding the woodchipper all day. I could wear a pink dress and still be #2 man on GFY. ( Metaman being #1)