Business 20 dollars for the best joke! You can donate it if you want. - GoFuckYourself.com

Mediamix · 12-15-2015, 07:55 PM

The GFY'er that tells or shows me the best joke, meme or picture in the next two days gets 20 dollars... (PayPal)

You can even donate it to charity to make this world a better place!

Let's go.

georgeyw · 12-15-2015, 08:38 PM

DVTimes

..........

Please donate to your choice of charities

SIK · 12-15-2015, 09:12 PM

some charity for kids plx, tnx

SilentKnight · 12-15-2015, 09:16 PM

One day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking his cigarettes. Little Johnny asked, "Grandpa, can I smoke some of your cigarettes?" His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" "No", said Little Johnny. His grandpa replied, "Then you're not old enough."

The next day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa drinking beer. He asked, "Grandpa, can I drink some of your beer?" His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" "No" said Little Johhny. "Then you're not old enough." his grandpa replied.

The next day, Little Johnny was eating cookies. His grandpa asked, "Can I have some of your cookies?" Little Johnny replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" His grandpa replied, "It most certainly can!" Little Johnny replied, "Then go fuck yourself. These are my cookies!"

The Porn Nerd · 12-15-2015, 09:16 PM

"Uncle Mark, you said you would take me to Florida for my birthday!"

"No honey. I said when you turned 18 I was gonna Tampa wit ya."

mineistaken · 12-15-2015, 09:19 PM

What do you call 10 illegal immigrants on the moon? A problem. What do you call 100 illegals on the moon? A problem. What do you call 1000 illegals on the moon? Still a problem. What do you call all of the illegal immigrants on the moon? Problem solved.

SilentKnight · 12-15-2015, 09:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mineistaken

What do you call 10 illegal immigrants on the moon? A problem. What do you call 100 illegals on the moon? A problem. What do you call 1000 illegals on the moon? Still a problem. What do you call all of the illegal immigrants on the moon? Problem solved.

brassmonkey · 12-15-2015, 09:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mineistaken

What do you call 10 illegal immigrants on the moon? A problem. What do you call 100 illegals on the moon? A problem. What do you call 1000 illegals on the moon? Still a problem. What do you call all of the illegal immigrants on the moon? Problem solved.

Mediamix · 12-15-2015, 09:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mineistaken

What do you call 10 illegal immigrants on the moon? A problem. What do you call 100 illegals on the moon? A problem. What do you call 1000 illegals on the moon? Still a problem. What do you call all of the illegal immigrants on the moon? Problem solved.

Quote:

Originally Posted by brassmonkey

Mediamix · 12-15-2015, 09:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SilentKnight

One day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking his cigarettes. Little Johnny asked, "Grandpa, can I smoke some of your cigarettes?" His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" "No", said Little Johnny. His grandpa replied, "Then you're not old enough."

The next day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa drinking beer. He asked, "Grandpa, can I drink some of your beer?" His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" "No" said Little Johhny. "Then you're not old enough." his grandpa replied.

The next day, Little Johnny was eating cookies. His grandpa asked, "Can I have some of your cookies?" Little Johnny replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" His grandpa replied, "It most certainly can!" Little Johnny replied, "Then go fuck yourself. These are my cookies!"

Okay, that was funny...

Rob · 12-15-2015, 09:59 PM

A Coast Guard cutter is patrolling off the coast of San Diego. They see a boat with four Mexicans, one standing on the bow holding a Mexican flag up high. The cutter stops the boat and asks the Mexicans what they're doing.

The Mexican in front yells, "We're attacking the U.S., Vato!"

The Coast Guards on the cutter all start laughing hysterically. Finally the captain leans over and yells, "Just the four of you are going to attack the U.S.?!?!?"

And the Mexican replies, "No! The rest are already there!"

Rob · 12-15-2015, 10:01 PM

A bear and a rabbit are shitting next to each other in the woods. The bear looks over at the rabbit and asks, "Do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fir?"

The rabbit responds, "Nope."

So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.

Rob · 12-15-2015, 10:05 PM

Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy a gang rape.

SBJ · 12-15-2015, 10:06 PM

Guy: *calls 911* Hello? I need your help!
911: Alright, What is it?
Guy: Two girls are fighting over me!
911: So what's your emergency?
Guy: The ugly one is winning.

Rob · 12-15-2015, 10:08 PM

My girlfriend is a porn star. She is going to be so pissed when she finds out.

kane · 12-16-2015, 12:22 AM

Johnny comes home from school and says to his dad, "I have to write a report on the differences between potential and reality. Can you help me?" His dad thinks about it for a minute then says, "It's easier if I just show you the difference."

With that his dad tells him to go into the kitchen and ask his mom if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Johnny does as he is told. His mom thinks about it and says, "Well, I wouldn't want to cheat on your father, but that is life changing money. We could pay off all the bills and send all three of you kids to college and still have plenty left. So, for the good of the family, I think I would." Johnny returns to his father and tells him the answer.

His dad then tells him to go into his sisters room and ask her if she would sleep with Zac Efron for a million dollars. Without out hesitation she exclaims, "Hell yes!!!!" Johnny once again returns to the living room and reports to his dad.

His Dad tells Johnny to go ask his brother if he would sleep with Tom Cruise for a million dollars. A little shocked by the question, Johnny marches to his brother's room and asks the question. His brother responds, "I'm not gay and I don't think Tom is either, but that is a lot of money. I think I would so long as I knew that nobody would find out."

Once again Johnny returns to the living room and reports his findings. His dad thinks about it all for a second and says, "So, as you can see, potentially we're sitting on three million dollars, but in reality we're just living with two whores and a queer."

RyuLion · 12-16-2015, 12:56 AM

L-Pink · 12-16-2015, 01:56 AM

My grandfather died during the Holocaust ...

He fell out of a tower while shooting Jews.

.

L-Pink · 12-16-2015, 01:57 AM

I prevented a rape tonight ...

I wasn't in the mood.

.

L-Pink · 12-16-2015, 02:00 AM

I told my girlfriend she would look sexier with her hair back ...

Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.

.

stoka · 12-16-2015, 02:07 AM

j3rkules · 12-16-2015, 04:35 AM

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking." Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?" "Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone." "No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."

Mediamix · 12-16-2015, 06:07 AM

Keep them coming!

nico-t · 12-16-2015, 07:36 AM

Hoe noem je een turkse vrouw op een fiets?

SNORFIETS

TimS · 12-16-2015, 08:34 AM

Know the difference between Knowledge and Faith?

A woman knows her child is hers.
A Man has faith the child is his.

ErectMedia · 12-16-2015, 08:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mineistaken

What do you call 10 illegal immigrants on the moon? A problem. What do you call 100 illegals on the moon? A problem. What do you call 1000 illegals on the moon? Still a problem. What do you call all of the illegal immigrants on the moon? Problem solved.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kane

Johnny comes home from school and says to his dad, "I have to write a report on the differences between potential and reality. Can you help me?" His dad thinks about it for a minute then says, "It's easier if I just show you the difference."

With that his dad tells him to go into the kitchen and ask his mom if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Johnny does as he is told. His mom thinks about it and says, "Well, I wouldn't want to cheat on your father, but that is life changing money. We could pay off all the bills and send all three of you kids to college and still have plenty left. So, for the good of the family, I think I would." Johnny returns to his father and tells him the answer.

His dad then tells him to go into his sisters room and ask her if she would sleep with Zac Efron for a million dollars. Without out hesitation she exclaims, "Hell yes!!!!" Johnny once again returns to the living room and reports to his dad.

His Dad tells Johnny to go ask his brother if he would sleep with Tom Cruise for a million dollars. A little shocked by the question, Johnny marches to his brother's room and asks the question. His brother responds, "I'm not gay and I don't think Tom is either, but that is a lot of money. I think I would so long as I knew that nobody would find out."

Once again Johnny returns to the living room and reports his findings. His dad thinks about it all for a second and says, "So, as you can see, potentially we're sitting on three million dollars, but in reality we're just living with two whores and a queer."

SekobA · 12-16-2015, 08:47 AM

I like this one:

Yo momma is so fat, everytime she farts people think there's an earthquake!

Mediamix · 12-16-2015, 08:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nico-t

Hoe noem je een turkse vrouw op een fiets?

SNORFIETS

Mediamix · 12-16-2015, 08:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kane

Johnny comes home from school and says to his dad, "I have to write a report on the differences between potential and reality. Can you help me?" His dad thinks about it for a minute then says, "It's easier if I just show you the difference."

With that his dad tells him to go into the kitchen and ask his mom if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Johnny does as he is told. His mom thinks about it and says, "Well, I wouldn't want to cheat on your father, but that is life changing money. We could pay off all the bills and send all three of you kids to college and still have plenty left. So, for the good of the family, I think I would." Johnny returns to his father and tells him the answer.

His dad then tells him to go into his sisters room and ask her if she would sleep with Zac Efron for a million dollars. Without out hesitation she exclaims, "Hell yes!!!!" Johnny once again returns to the living room and reports to his dad.

His Dad tells Johnny to go ask his brother if he would sleep with Tom Cruise for a million dollars. A little shocked by the question, Johnny marches to his brother's room and asks the question. His brother responds, "I'm not gay and I don't think Tom is either, but that is a lot of money. I think I would so long as I knew that nobody would find out."

Once again Johnny returns to the living room and reports his findings. His dad thinks about it all for a second and says, "So, as you can see, potentially we're sitting on three million dollars, but in reality we're just living with two whores and a queer."

That was funny!

EddyTheDog · 12-16-2015, 08:54 AM

Who is this 'Little Johnny' you all talk about?..

Mediamix · 12-16-2015, 09:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by georgeyw

DVTimes

..........

Please donate to your choice of charities

Colmike9 · 12-16-2015, 09:05 AM

Colmike9 · 12-16-2015, 09:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SekobA

I like this one:

Yo momma is so fat, everytime she farts people think there's an earthquake!

Yo mamma so dumb, she tripped over a cordless phone..

mineistaken · 12-16-2015, 10:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mediamix

Keep them coming!

More than 1 entry per person allowed?

The one who would posts 100 jokes would be very likely to win with so many entries

tobe87 · 12-16-2015, 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kane

Johnny comes home from school and says to his dad, "I have to write a report on the differences between potential and reality. Can you help me?" His dad thinks about it for a minute then says, "It's easier if I just show you the difference."

With that his dad tells him to go into the kitchen and ask his mom if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Johnny does as he is told. His mom thinks about it and says, "Well, I wouldn't want to cheat on your father, but that is life changing money. We could pay off all the bills and send all three of you kids to college and still have plenty left. So, for the good of the family, I think I would." Johnny returns to his father and tells him the answer.

His dad then tells him to go into his sisters room and ask her if she would sleep with Zac Efron for a million dollars. Without out hesitation she exclaims, "Hell yes!!!!" Johnny once again returns to the living room and reports to his dad.

His Dad tells Johnny to go ask his brother if he would sleep with Tom Cruise for a million dollars. A little shocked by the question, Johnny marches to his brother's room and asks the question. His brother responds, "I'm not gay and I don't think Tom is either, but that is a lot of money. I think I would so long as I knew that nobody would find out."

Once again Johnny returns to the living room and reports his findings. His dad thinks about it all for a second and says, "So, as you can see, potentially we're sitting on three million dollars, but in reality we're just living with two whores and a queer."

12-15-2015, 07:55 PM	#1
Mediamix Dutch Webmaster! Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Netherlands Posts: 3,227	20 dollars for the best joke! You can donate it if you want. The GFY'er that tells or shows me the best joke, meme or picture in the next two days gets 20 dollars... (PayPal) You can even donate it to charity to make this world a better place! Let's go. __________________ Sig too big

12-15-2015, 08:38 PM	#2
georgeyw 58008 53773 Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Australia Posts: 9,864	DVTimes .......... Please donate to your choice of charities __________________ TripleXPrint on Megan Fox "I would STILL suck her pussy until her face caved in. And then blow her up and do it again!"

12-15-2015, 09:12 PM	#3
SIK Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 1,497	some charity for kids plx, tnx __________________ ¤´¨) ¸.•´¸.•´¨) ¸.•¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•`¤ICQ:491 496 482

12-15-2015, 09:16 PM	#5
The Porn Nerd Living The Dream Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Inside a Monitor Posts: 19,201	"Uncle Mark, you said you would take me to Florida for my birthday!" "No honey. I said when you turned 18 I was gonna Tampa wit ya." __________________ My Affiliate Programs: Porn Nerd Cash \| Porn Showcase \| Aggressive Gold (Coming Soon) Over 90 paysites to promote! ICQ: 579915163 Skype: peabodymedia

12-15-2015, 10:06 PM	#14
SBJ So Fucking Fabulous Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Indiana Posts: 11,355	Guy: calls 911 Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Guy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Guy: The ugly one is winning. __________________ Chaturbate - Make tons of money from Cams! *Name Silo - Domains under $9 and free ID protect*

12-15-2015, 09:16 PM	#4
SilentKnight Megan Fox's fluffer Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: shooting pool in Elysium Posts: 24,818	One day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking his cigarettes. Little Johnny asked, "Grandpa, can I smoke some of your cigarettes?" His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" "No", said Little Johnny. His grandpa replied, "Then you're not old enough." The next day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa drinking beer. He asked, "Grandpa, can I drink some of your beer?" His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" "No" said Little Johhny. "Then you're not old enough." his grandpa replied. The next day, Little Johnny was eating cookies. His grandpa asked, "Can I have some of your cookies?" Little Johnny replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" His grandpa replied, "It most certainly can!" Little Johnny replied, "Then go fuck yourself. These are my cookies!"

12-15-2015, 09:19 PM	#6
mineistaken See signature :) Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: ICQ 363 097 773 Posts: 29,656	What do you call 10 illegal immigrants on the moon? A problem. What do you call 100 illegals on the moon? A problem. What do you call 1000 illegals on the moon? Still a problem. What do you call all of the illegal immigrants on the moon? Problem solved.

12-15-2015, 09:59 PM	#11
Rob I'm a great bowler. Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Right Outside of Normal. Posts: 13,310	A Coast Guard cutter is patrolling off the coast of San Diego. They see a boat with four Mexicans, one standing on the bow holding a Mexican flag up high. The cutter stops the boat and asks the Mexicans what they're doing. The Mexican in front yells, "We're attacking the U.S., Vato!" The Coast Guards on the cutter all start laughing hysterically. Finally the captain leans over and yells, "Just the four of you are going to attack the U.S.?!?!?" And the Mexican replies, "No! The rest are already there!"

12-15-2015, 10:01 PM	#12
Rob I'm a great bowler. Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Right Outside of Normal. Posts: 13,310	A bear and a rabbit are shitting next to each other in the woods. The bear looks over at the rabbit and asks, "Do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fir?" The rabbit responds, "Nope." So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.

12-15-2015, 10:05 PM	#13
Rob I'm a great bowler. Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Right Outside of Normal. Posts: 13,310	Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy a gang rape.

12-15-2015, 10:08 PM	#15
Rob I'm a great bowler. Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Right Outside of Normal. Posts: 13,310	My girlfriend is a porn star. She is going to be so pissed when she finds out.

12-16-2015, 12:22 AM	#16
kane Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: portland, OR Posts: 20,684	Johnny comes home from school and says to his dad, "I have to write a report on the differences between potential and reality. Can you help me?" His dad thinks about it for a minute then says, "It's easier if I just show you the difference." With that his dad tells him to go into the kitchen and ask his mom if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Johnny does as he is told. His mom thinks about it and says, "Well, I wouldn't want to cheat on your father, but that is life changing money. We could pay off all the bills and send all three of you kids to college and still have plenty left. So, for the good of the family, I think I would." Johnny returns to his father and tells him the answer. His dad then tells him to go into his sisters room and ask her if she would sleep with Zac Efron for a million dollars. Without out hesitation she exclaims, "Hell yes!!!!" Johnny once again returns to the living room and reports to his dad. His Dad tells Johnny to go ask his brother if he would sleep with Tom Cruise for a million dollars. A little shocked by the question, Johnny marches to his brother's room and asks the question. His brother responds, "I'm not gay and I don't think Tom is either, but that is a lot of money. I think I would so long as I knew that nobody would find out." Once again Johnny returns to the living room and reports his findings. His dad thinks about it all for a second and says, "So, as you can see, potentially we're sitting on three million dollars, but in reality we're just living with two whores and a queer."

12-16-2015, 12:56 AM	#17
RyuLion ClubDomCash.com Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: San Diego Posts: 32,060	__________________ Promote Clubdom.com (since 1997) - Adult Biz Consultant

12-16-2015, 01:56 AM	#18
L-Pink working on my tan Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Florida/Kentucky Posts: 39,152	My grandfather died during the Holocaust ... He fell out of a tower while shooting Jews. .

12-16-2015, 01:57 AM	#19
L-Pink working on my tan Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Florida/Kentucky Posts: 39,152	I prevented a rape tonight ... I wasn't in the mood. .

12-16-2015, 02:00 AM	#20
L-Pink working on my tan Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Florida/Kentucky Posts: 39,152	I told my girlfriend she would look sexier with her hair back ... Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient. .

12-16-2015, 02:07 AM	#21
stoka Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 956

12-16-2015, 04:35 AM	#22
j3rkules VIP Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 22,104	Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking." Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?" "Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone." "No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking." __________________ How To Build A Porn Site And Make Money \| My Best $$$ Cam Sponsor 3 Top Adult Hosting Providers

12-16-2015, 06:07 AM	#23
Mediamix Dutch Webmaster! Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Netherlands Posts: 3,227	Keep them coming! __________________ Sig too big

12-16-2015, 07:36 AM	#24
nico-t emperor of my world Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: nethalands Posts: 29,904	Hoe noem je een turkse vrouw op een fiets? SNORFIETS

12-16-2015, 08:34 AM	#25
TimS Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2014 Posts: 231	Know the difference between Knowledge and Faith? A woman knows her child is hers. A Man has faith the child is his.

12-16-2015, 08:47 AM	#27
SekobA Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 567721649 Posts: 12,149	I like this one: Yo momma is so fat, everytime she farts people think there's an earthquake! __________________ Best Affiliate Program Available Start Promoting 25% REV-SHARE

12-16-2015, 08:54 AM	#30
EddyTheDog Just Doing My Own Thing Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: London, Spain, New Zealand, GFY - Not Croydon... Posts: 24,768	Who is this 'Little Johnny' you all talk about?..

12-16-2015, 09:05 AM	#32
Colmike9 (>^_^)b Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2011 Posts: 7,183	__________________ Join the BEST cam affiliate program on the internet! I've referred over $1.7mil in spending this past year, you should join in. I make a lot more money in the medical field in a lab now, fuck you guys. Don't ask me to come back, but do join Chaturbate in my sig, it still makes bank without me touching shit for years..