I should shower too! :)

and one

A TEXAS BABY



A Texan bought a round of drinks for all in the bar and said that his wife had just produced "a typical Texas baby" weighing twenty pounds. Wow and congratulations was the reply from all in the bar.

Two weeks later he returned to the bar. The bartender recognized him and asked, "Aren't you the father of the typical Texas baby that weighed twenty pounds at birth? How much does he weigh now?"

The proud father answered, "10 pounds."

The bartender said, "Why, what happened? He did weigh twenty pounds."

The proud Texas father said, "Just had him circumcised!"

An American tourist was walking along a London street on a windy day, when he noticed a beautiful woman walking towards him.

Suddenly, a gust of wind blew the woman's dress up, to reveal that she was wearing no knickers.

The American, trying to sound as English as possible, said to the woman: "It's a bit airy, isn't it, love?"

The woman scowled and replied angrily: "What the heck did you expect, feathers?"

Contest going up slowly

itll get there

So fresh and so clean clean!

.. hmmm... I need money quickly:-)

how many days is this now

bump for slowness

Less than one day

This will be @ 1500 within a few hrs I think.

Looks like we're on our way

closer,

Yay!

and closer

CIGARETTE WARNINGS



Recent Canadian government research has shown that cigarette smoking not only impairs sexual ability, it actually causes shrinkage of the male sexual "equipment."

Wow! If that is true, we need to get the word out ASAP! Maybe the warning on the cigarette packs should be updated to reflect this new information. How about something like this:

* Warning!: These cigarettes are king size -- how about you?

* Warning!: Smoking sections in restaurants aren't the only things getting smaller.

* Warning!: If you don't reduce your smoking, your smoking will reduce you.

* Warning!: Smoking may lead to ridicule on your honeymoon.

* Warning!: Smoke rises, but you may not.

* Warning!: Second-hand smoke can be harmful to children -- That is... if you're capable of conceiving any.

* Warning!: Cigarettes get shorter the more you puff -- so do you.

* Warning!: How can you enjoy a smoke afterwards, if there's no before?

* Warning!: The only thing left after a smoke is a dead stub.

* Warning!: Don't throw lit cigarettes in the urinal -- you might not have the range to put them out.

just a couple hundred more to go

If you stretch a standard Slinky out flat it measures 87 feet long.

I think I want u

The only word in the English language with all five vowels in reverse order is "subcontinental".

The saying "it's so cold out there it could freeze the balls off a brass monkey" came from when they had old cannons like ones used in the Civil War. The cannonballs were stacked in a pyramid formation, called a brass monkey. When it got extremely cold outside they would crack and break off... Thus the saying.

The "ZIP" in Zip Code stands for "Zone Improvement Plan".

A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

wee cut and paste is great :thumbsup

Are you a woman?

Cool!

this shits going too slow now hurry the fuck up

The ball on top of a flagpole is called the trunk.

Word

The parking meter was invented in North Dakota.

Need a little help? :)

post more! im not getting paid for this ya know :1orglaugh

:thumbsup

post post

Please! heheh :banana

faster guys! :BangBang:

i can only post once every 30 seconds :(

:thumbsup

alright! now we're starting to move!

rollin rollin rollin rollin rollin..........

The little lump of flesh just forward of your ear canal, right next to your temple, is called a tragus.

faster!!!

700 bitch.

post post post post post post

It takes a lobster approxiamately seven years to grow to be one pound.

Montpelier, Vermont is the only U.S. state capital without a McDonalds.

:(