Sick jokes - GoFuckYourself.com

The Duck · 11-21-2008, 07:56 PM

Those on the edge jokes can be hilarious to some and utterly offensive to others. Let's do this.

What does Stevie Wonder?s wife
do when they?ve had a fight?
She rearranges the furniture.

What do Princess Diana and Pink Floyd
have in common?
Their last big hit was The Wall.

Why do Jews have big noses?
Air is free.

What?s the difference between Jesus and
a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang a picture.

A man walks into a sex shop and tells the
woman behind the counter he?s looking for a
blow-up doll. The woman asks, ?Would you like
a Christian or a Muslim doll??. Confused, the
man says, ?What?s the difference??.
?Well,? replies the woman, ?the Muslim one
blows itself up.?

A woman has just given birth in the hospital.
When she wakes up from a long sleep the
doctor approaches her.
?I have some good news and some bad news...?
?What do you mean?!?
?I?m afraid your baby has ginger hair.?
?That?s the bad news?! What?s the good news??
?He?s dead.?

What do you call a white guy dancing?
A seizure.

And a special one to end the post..

Two gfy post whores race off the edge of a cliff.
Who wins?
Society.

SilentKnight · 11-21-2008, 09:41 PM

There was a young girl who lived up in the hills of Tennessee. She was about to turn sixteen, and couldn't wait to get her driver's liscense.

She had been subjected to much ribbing from her older brother, telling her that she was too dumb to get her liscense.

When the big day came around, she passed the test with flying colors.

She rushed home and asked her father if she could use the car that night so she and her friend could go in to town where all the cool kids were at.

The father said, "Sure honey, but you'll have to give me a blow-job first."

Wanting to go to town real bad, she agreed.

As she went down on her father, she suddenly jumped up an said "Dad your dick tastes like shit"

Oh yea, her father replied, "I forgot, your brother's got the car tonight."

Spunky · 11-21-2008, 09:53 PM

Insert racial stereotype joke here

Spieglergirls · 11-21-2008, 10:14 PM

What do you call 6 porn chicks in a room if 3 of them are on their period & 3 of them have a yeast infection?

A whine & cheese party!

Z · 11-21-2008, 10:48 PM

There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench.

The little girl says, "Mummy, what are they doing?" The mother hesitates then quickly replies, "Ummm they are making cakes."

The next day they are at a zoo and the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again she asks her mother what they are doing and her mother replies with the same response, "Making cakes."

The next day the girl says to her mother, "Mummy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the lounge last night, eh?" Shocked, the mother asks, "How do you know?"

She says, "Because I licked the icing off the sofa."

The Duck · 11-22-2008, 06:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Z

There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench.

The little girl says, "Mummy, what are they doing?" The mother hesitates then quickly replies, "Ummm they are making cakes."

The next day they are at a zoo and the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again she asks her mother what they are doing and her mother replies with the same response, "Making cakes."

The next day the girl says to her mother, "Mummy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the lounge last night, eh?" Shocked, the mother asks, "How do you know?"

She says, "Because I licked the icing off the sofa."

Why did Hitler
commit
suicide?
He saw the gas bill.

How did the constipated mathematician
relieve himself?
He worked it out with a pencil.

What?s the
difference
between a woman
and a computer?
You only have to
punch the
information into a
computer once.

How do you scare a man?
Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice.

How many homosexuals does it take to put
in a light bulb?
Only one... but it takes an entire Emergency Room to
get it out.

How do you get a Granny to shout ?Cunt!??
Get another one to shout ?Bingo?.

Zuzana Designs · 11-22-2008, 07:06 AM

ohhhh some good ones

lol

martinsc · 11-22-2008, 11:04 AM

some good ones

andy83 · 11-22-2008, 11:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spieglergirls

What do you call 6 porn chicks in a room if 3 of them are on their period & 3 of them have a yeast infection?

A whine & cheese party!

lmao.. good 1

fris · 11-22-2008, 11:11 AM

A man donates blood to his wife after she is hurt in a crash.
A few months later they go through a nasty divorce and he demands his blood back.
She throws a used tampax in his face and says "There you go you fucker!......I'll pay you monthly"

Arnjen · 11-22-2008, 11:16 AM

pwahahaha funny bastards nice ones ;)

Spieglergirls · 11-22-2008, 12:48 PM

How do you brainwash a porn star?

Enema!

Bojangles · 11-22-2008, 01:08 PM

Hahahahaha. Awesome jokes.

L-Pink · 11-22-2008, 01:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Z

There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench.

The little girl says, "Mummy, what are they doing?" The mother hesitates then quickly replies, "Ummm they are making cakes."

The next day they are at a zoo and the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again she asks her mother what they are doing and her mother replies with the same response, "Making cakes."

The next day the girl says to her mother, "Mummy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the lounge last night, eh?" Shocked, the mother asks, "How do you know?"

She says, "Because I licked the icing off the sofa."

.

Spunky · 11-22-2008, 02:56 PM

Lol,some of those were pretty good

The Duck · 11-22-2008, 04:31 PM

There is more..

What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for
Christmas?
Cancer.

Why did the girl fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.

What animal has a cunt in the middle
of its back?
A police horse.

‘I want to die in my sleep like my Grandad. Not
kicking and screaming like his passengers.’

‘Did you hear about the gynaecologist who
decorated his house through the letter box?’

‘In today’s news, police in Alabama found the
body of black man hanging from a tree. His
arms and legs had been cut off, he’d been set
on fire and shot seven times. The Sheriff said it
was the worst suicide he’d ever seen.’

A baby seal walks into a club...

What’s the
difference
between a cow
and a hamster?
The cow survived
branding.

The Duck · 11-22-2008, 04:34 PM

Some gfy poetry.

Jack and Jill went up the hill
So Jack could lick Jill’s fanny
All he got was a mouthful of cum
‘Cos Jill’s a fucking tranny

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin
‘If my ear was a cunt, I would fuck it’

There was a young chap called Dave
Who kept a dead whore in a cave
He said, ‘I admit
She does smell a bit
But look at the money I save’

The Duck · 11-22-2008, 04:36 PM

What’s a shitzu?
A zoo with no animals.

The Judge · 11-22-2008, 05:55 PM

I did not get these, please explain

Did you hear about the gynaecologist who
decorated his house through the letter box?’

What’s the
difference
between a cow
and a hamster?
The cow survived
branding.

Sveindt Beindt · 11-22-2008, 07:17 PM

Lol good ones

Spieglergirls · 11-22-2008, 07:38 PM

What do you call the hair between your Grandmother's tits?

Her pussy!

tony286 · 11-22-2008, 08:42 PM

so wrong and so funny

The Duck · 11-23-2008, 12:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Judge

I did not get these, please explain

Did you hear about the gynaecologist who
decorated his house through the letter box??

What?s the
difference
between a cow
and a hamster?
The cow survived
branding.

Gynecologist is used to working through small orifices.

Second, I would like to illustrate why the hamster did not survive the branding.

11-21-2008, 07:56 PM	#1
The Duck Adult Content Provider Industry Role: Join Date: May 2005 Location: Europe Posts: 18,243	Sick jokes Those on the edge jokes can be hilarious to some and utterly offensive to others. Let's do this. What does Stevie Wonder?s wife do when they?ve had a fight? She rearranges the furniture. What do Princess Diana and Pink Floyd have in common? Their last big hit was The Wall. Why do Jews have big noses? Air is free. What?s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? It only takes one nail to hang a picture. A man walks into a sex shop and tells the woman behind the counter he?s looking for a blow-up doll. The woman asks, ?Would you like a Christian or a Muslim doll??. Confused, the man says, ?What?s the difference??. ?Well,? replies the woman, ?the Muslim one blows itself up.? A woman has just given birth in the hospital. When she wakes up from a long sleep the doctor approaches her. ?I have some good news and some bad news...? ?What do you mean?!? ?I?m afraid your baby has ginger hair.? ?That?s the bad news?! What?s the good news?? ?He?s dead.? What do you call a white guy dancing? A seizure. And a special one to end the post.. Two gfy post whores race off the edge of a cliff. Who wins? Society. __________________ Skype Horusmaia ICQ 41555245 Email [email protected]

11-21-2008, 09:53 PM	#3
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,934	Insert racial stereotype joke here __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

11-21-2008, 10:14 PM	#4
Spieglergirls Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Porn Valley, Ca. Posts: 476	What do you call 6 porn chicks in a room if 3 of them are on their period & 3 of them have a yeast infection? A whine & cheese party! __________________ Mark Spiegler "Patron of the Tarts" http://www.spieglergirls.com/html/main.html

11-22-2008, 07:06 AM	#7
Zuzana Designs All Your Design Needs Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: [email protected] Posts: 20,806	ohhhh some good ones lol __________________ Website Design - Consulting - Development sarah [at] zuzanadesigns.com - See Our Work Need a SFW landing page or tour for age verification?

11-22-2008, 11:04 AM	#8
martinsc Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: 127.0.0.1 Posts: 27,047	some good ones __________________ Make Money

11-21-2008, 09:41 PM	#2
SilentKnight Megan Fox's fluffer Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: shooting pool in Elysium Posts: 24,818	There was a young girl who lived up in the hills of Tennessee. She was about to turn sixteen, and couldn't wait to get her driver's liscense. She had been subjected to much ribbing from her older brother, telling her that she was too dumb to get her liscense. When the big day came around, she passed the test with flying colors. She rushed home and asked her father if she could use the car that night so she and her friend could go in to town where all the cool kids were at. The father said, "Sure honey, but you'll have to give me a blow-job first." Wanting to go to town real bad, she agreed. As she went down on her father, she suddenly jumped up an said "Dad your dick tastes like shit" Oh yea, her father replied, "I forgot, your brother's got the car tonight."

11-21-2008, 10:48 PM	#5
Z Vidi Vici Veni Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 6,308	There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench. The little girl says, "Mummy, what are they doing?" The mother hesitates then quickly replies, "Ummm they are making cakes." The next day they are at a zoo and the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again she asks her mother what they are doing and her mother replies with the same response, "Making cakes." The next day the girl says to her mother, "Mummy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the lounge last night, eh?" Shocked, the mother asks, "How do you know?" She says, "Because I licked the icing off the sofa."

11-22-2008, 11:11 AM	#10
fris Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 55,359	A man donates blood to his wife after she is hurt in a crash. A few months later they go through a nasty divorce and he demands his blood back. She throws a used tampax in his face and says "There you go you fucker!......I'll pay you monthly" __________________ Since 1999: 69 Adult Industry awards for Best Hosting Company and professional excellence. WP Stuff

11-22-2008, 11:16 AM	#11
Arnjen Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 184	pwahahaha funny bastards nice ones ;)

11-22-2008, 12:48 PM	#12
Spieglergirls Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Porn Valley, Ca. Posts: 476	How do you brainwash a porn star? Enema! __________________ Mark Spiegler "Patron of the Tarts" http://www.spieglergirls.com/html/main.html

11-22-2008, 01:08 PM	#13
Bojangles Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 5,419	Hahahahaha. Awesome jokes.

11-22-2008, 02:56 PM	#15
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,934	Lol,some of those were pretty good __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

11-22-2008, 04:31 PM	#16
The Duck Adult Content Provider Industry Role: Join Date: May 2005 Location: Europe Posts: 18,243	There is more.. What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for Christmas? Cancer. Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. What animal has a cunt in the middle of its back? A police horse. ‘I want to die in my sleep like my Grandad. Not kicking and screaming like his passengers.’ ‘Did you hear about the gynaecologist who decorated his house through the letter box?’ ‘In today’s news, police in Alabama found the body of black man hanging from a tree. His arms and legs had been cut off, he’d been set on fire and shot seven times. The Sheriff said it was the worst suicide he’d ever seen.’ A baby seal walks into a club... What’s the difference between a cow and a hamster? The cow survived branding. __________________ Skype Horusmaia ICQ 41555245 Email [email protected]

11-22-2008, 04:34 PM	#17
The Duck Adult Content Provider Industry Role: Join Date: May 2005 Location: Europe Posts: 18,243	Some gfy poetry. Jack and Jill went up the hill So Jack could lick Jill’s fanny All he got was a mouthful of cum ‘Cos Jill’s a fucking tranny There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long he could suck it He said with a grin As he wiped off his chin ‘If my ear was a cunt, I would fuck it’ There was a young chap called Dave Who kept a dead whore in a cave He said, ‘I admit She does smell a bit But look at the money I save’ __________________ Skype Horusmaia ICQ 41555245 Email [email protected]

11-22-2008, 04:36 PM	#18
The Duck Adult Content Provider Industry Role: Join Date: May 2005 Location: Europe Posts: 18,243	What’s a shitzu? A zoo with no animals. __________________ Skype Horusmaia ICQ 41555245 Email [email protected]

11-22-2008, 05:55 PM	#19
The Judge Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Mobile, AL Posts: 1,647	I did not get these, please explain Did you hear about the gynaecologist who decorated his house through the letter box?’ What’s the difference between a cow and a hamster? The cow survived branding. __________________ Last edited by The Judge; 11-22-2008 at 05:56 PM..

11-22-2008, 07:17 PM	#20
Sveindt Beindt Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Kopenhagen Denmark Posts: 1,853	Lol good ones __________________ Nylonfeet Bondage Vintage Magazine Pinup Teen

11-22-2008, 07:38 PM	#21
Spieglergirls Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Porn Valley, Ca. Posts: 476	What do you call the hair between your Grandmother's tits? Her pussy! __________________ Mark Spiegler "Patron of the Tarts" http://www.spieglergirls.com/html/main.html

11-22-2008, 08:42 PM	#22
tony286 lurker Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: atlanta Posts: 57,021	so wrong and so funny