Do More Women Want To Work Or Stay At Home And Raise Kids? - Page 2 - GoFuckYourself.com

AmeliaG · 03-25-2016, 05:26 PM

Okay, now that I have that ridiculous pussy VikingMan on ignore, I can actually read this thread through and reply.

I think there are both men and women who would love to stay home with their kids, during their formative years. And both men and women who would way rather be in an office.

People like most of us, who work online, can get to have their cake and eat it too, with this choice. So that is kind of awesome.

Other than the actual pregnancy and recuperation part, there is no reason the father can't be the stay-at-home caretaker, whether or not he works at home too.

Personally, if it is an either or choice, I would waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay rather work. No contest.

johnnyloadproductions · 03-25-2016, 05:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmeliaG

The most baffling question is why has it taken me until now to add that unbelievable pussy VikingMan to my ignore list?

LOL, I'm actually on your ignore list (I made someone's list). I'm guessing you did that when I made the thread about porn star Margo Stevens. https://gfy.com/fucking-around-and-pr...o-stevens.html

Anyway, you're a bit of a weirdo Amelia, doesn't mean I don't like you though

. We're FB friends after all and I referred one of my friends to be your friend from this thread: https://gfy.com/fucking-around-and-pr...rica-idea.html
She'd be good content for you.

azvixen · 03-25-2016, 06:15 PM

Actually, women I meet and associate with have children and work from home. They work from home for corporations, direct sales, business coaches, and others have created their own corporation. Who wouldn't want to raise your own children! Working from home is becoming trend for many men and women, you sexist pigs that believe women won't be happy no matter what. I cannot believe the level of chauvinists on this post.

The Porn Nerd · 03-25-2016, 06:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by azvixen

Actually, women I meet and associate with have children and work from home. They work from home for corporations, direct sales, business coaches, and others have created their own corporation. Who wouldn't want to raise your own children! Working from home is becoming trend for many men and women, you sexist pigs that believe women won't be happy no matter what. I cannot believe the level of chauvinists on this post.

Well as far I am concerned I prefer women over men in most things. But then again I'm a lover, not a fighter. LOL

I think of course the ideal is have it both ways, to live and work from home and control your own time. Time is the biggest victim of commuting and working away from the family. But sometimes it's an either/or choice. So, in the end, I say (as the emancipated liberated female-friendly feminist male that I am) most chicks want to stay home, spit out a few puppies, be set for life and have daddy/hubby pay the bills.

VikingMan · 03-25-2016, 06:55 PM

Amelia lives in LA? Ok well anyone who has spent time in LA knows that this is the worst city to live in if you are :

1. Black (Amelia what are you and the social justice warriors doing to resolve the extreme racism toward black people in LA?)

2. A female over 40 (Amelia what you and the social justice warriors doing to resolve the extreme sexism and age-ism in LA?)

The answer: You are going to do nothing about the racism, sexism, and age-ism in LA/Hollywood because the idea to oppose it is not implanted in to your fucking pea brain by the TV, movies, and news that you consume. LA just gets a "pass" while pumping out propaganda to the masses which is completely hypocritical. Even more blatant is the racism, sexism, and age-ism in the porn world. No doubt your portfolio of sites reflects on various ages and backgrounds of performers does it not? Amelia you cannot pick and chose from a basket of of political correctness and then try to shame someone for simply suggesting that not only should women follow their dreams, get educated, and have a career but also consider their biological clocks and the FACT THAT THEY ARE WOMEN AND MIGHT WANT TO HAVE A FAMILY? Having a family and also having a high flying career or working insane hours does not work. Yes I know the TV tells you that you can put a god damned 1 month old baby in the corner of your office and he she will be perfectly quiet and content while you have affairs with your boss and run a business. What about the kids do they not have rights as well? How about the right to a decent childhood? It is legal to put your 1 month old baby in daycare for 50 hours a week. Do you think that 1 month old might want to have his or her mother instead? It is child abuse to put a baby in child care for 50 hours a week but many women who have bought into the bullshit which the media has programmed into their brain end up putting their baby through 40 too 50 hours of being cared for by an overworked and stressed out child care provider (other than their mother or father) every week.

To oppose my idea seems very anti-female and anti-child. Why are you so anti-female and anti-child? Why do you hate women and children?

VikingMan · 03-25-2016, 07:13 PM

Even worse I made a typo. Oh fuck.

The Porn Nerd · 03-25-2016, 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VikingMan

Even worse I made a typo. Oh fuck.

Now this is a post I can agree with.

JesseQuinn · 03-26-2016, 03:38 PM

First off, gotta break out of the mindset that women are some monolithic group who all share the same dreams and values.

I'm 37 and no kids. Had my tubes tied at 29 and have never had a moment of regret since. And I live in a country where peeps of both genders look at me like I have two heads when I say that.

I like kids as long as they go back to their own parents after I'm finished playing with them, but to have one of my own? Never felt a maternal urge, ever. Prob helped that my mom did at home babysitting for a spell while I was growing up, so saw what the work actually entails. It's kinda messy and frustrating.

That's not even getting into carrying another human being around inside you for 9 months and not knowing what will happen to your body after. I know this is supposed to be normal but it's horror scifi to me. My point? Some women don't even get to the point of the work/family dilemma.

In terms of being a stay at home mom with no job/career, even if I had kids fuck that ish. I don't ever want to be economically dependent upon another human being, let alone responsible for someone else in addition. I love my partner, he's my best friend and I trust him with every cell of my being but put myself in a vulnerable position even given that? I would consider that a foolish choice. Let alone being surrounded by nothing but baby talk and women talking about their own kids...I would wither and fucking die.

Most peeps would prefer not to work if independently wealthy but the reason we all do is because there are benefits attached. We have our own $$$$, we have current work experience (try going back to work after 10 years at home, no matter one's education) and we get to talk to other adults about shit other than our own families.

I admire women who can devote their lives to raising children. I'm the beneficiary of that (my mom always worked but made me and my bro her #1 priority by a mile) so I know how valuable it is. Just not something many of us are cut out for. Different dreams and values, no one any more legit/valuable than any others

(and most peeps seem miserable as fuck no matter their family status)

JesseQuinn · 03-26-2016, 03:59 PM

and Amelia is fucking awesome. I'll be organizing a 'hate women and children' parade next weekend, hoping she'll fly down to be flagbearer

CaptainHowdy · 03-26-2016, 04:02 PM

Women will always be miserable no matter what ...

The Porn Nerd · 03-26-2016, 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JesseQuinn

First off, gotta break out of the mindset that women are some monolithic group who all share the same dreams and values.

I'm 37 and no kids. Had my tubes tied at 29 and have never had a moment of regret since. And I live in a country where peeps of both genders look at me like I have two heads when I say that.

I like kids as long as they go back to their own parents after I'm finished playing with them, but to have one of my own? Never felt a maternal urge, ever. Prob helped that my mom did at home babysitting for a spell while I was growing up, so saw what the work actually entails. It's kinda messy and frustrating.

That's not even getting into carrying another human being around inside you for 9 months and not knowing what will happen to your body after. I know this is supposed to be normal but it's horror scifi to me. My point? Some women don't even get to the point of the work/family dilemma.

In terms of being a stay at home mom with no job/career, even if I had kids fuck that ish. I don't ever want to be economically dependent upon another human being, let alone responsible for someone else in addition. I love my partner, he's my best friend and I trust him with every cell of my being but put myself in a vulnerable position even given that? I would consider that a foolish choice. Let alone being surrounded by nothing but baby talk and women talking about their own kids...I would wither and fucking die.

Most peeps would prefer not to work if independently wealthy but the reason we all do is because there are benefits attached. We have our own $$$$, we have current work experience (try going back to work after 10 years at home, no matter one's education) and we get to talk to other adults about shit other than our own families.

I admire women who can devote their lives to raising children. I'm the beneficiary of that (my mom always worked but made me and my bro her #1 priority by a mile) so I know how valuable it is. Just not something many of us are cut out for. Different dreams and values, no one any more legit/valuable than any others

(and most peeps seem miserable as fuck no matter their family status)

Thanks for sharing these great points! I think you definitely fall into the independent category. LOL Good for you! Personally I HATE the idea of being the one who always pays for everything and have the woman look at me like I'm her fucking daddy or something. LOL

And I think most people are 'miserable as fuck' because they have small dreams, small lives and no imagination.

jimmycooper · 03-26-2016, 09:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by selena

It is my dream. If only for a year.

You should! It doesn't matter how old you are or where you are in life. Most of my close friends and me moved in here in our early 20's for work purposes. I was in advertising, most of the guys I knew were in finance, and most of the girls I knew were in fashion. But it seems like lately I've met lot of people who've moved here mid-career or after a career switch or after a divorce.

Also, given you work for Met-Art, you could easily justify it for career purposes. Get memberships at the Whitney, MoMA, Guggenheim, andNew Museum. Going to the events will undoubtedly give you a broader understanding of photography as an art form and also introduce you to new creative ways in which it can be presented as content. Some of which will translate well to online. Hell when I put that way, you could justify making them pay for not only the museum memberships but also moving expense and broker fee for your first apartment.

Having those memberships is also a good way to meet people provided you're a social person by nature. I've had memberships at all over the years. Right now at the Whitney.

When people appear as if they hate the city, it's usually because they've become jaded after having been here in too long. I know a lot of jaded people but most of them will say that their first few years living here were awesome. Even if they didn't realize it that time.

Rochard · 03-26-2016, 09:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JesseQuinn

I'm 37 and no kids. Had my tubes tied at 29 and have never had a moment of regret since.

I had a friend of mine in a high school, a woman, who always told me she would never have kids but wanted to work at Disney. Decades later she is married, has no kids, and... works for Disney.

If you don't want to have kids, that's your decision. Having kids is not for everyone. No one should question you on this. Or even look at you funny.

DraX · 03-26-2016, 09:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rochard

Everyone is different.

I couldn't imagine living in an apartment. But that's me. A quick search shows me $3200 - $12k for a three bedroom apartment. (A three bedroom is a bare minimum for me.) Instead, I pay $1500 for my roomy 3500 sq foot house with four bedrooms, a playroom and two garages.

I disagree the suburbs are boring. With the exception of museums, we have pretty much the same stuff you have in the city. We have tons of restaurants, bars, breweries, and taprooms. We have movies, bowling, etc. We also have things you do not have - My town has it's own little airport and it's own air show, and we also have things like wineries. You might go to Chinatown for Chinese, but we have three Chinese restaurants here in town as it is. We also have Vietnamese, Afghani, Indian, Sushi, etc.

New Jersey smells? That's news to me. I am a Jersey boy myself, born in Lakewood NJ, but raised in rural New Jersey almost in Pennsylvania. Where I lived it was beautiful, all rural. I also lived in Brooklyn too when I was a teen.

It's a trade off. You pay out the ass to live in the city, and frankly you get little bang for your buck.

Just curious, if you don't mind answering, that house at $1500 per month, is that your own house and you pay loan/mortage worth $1500 or you rent it from someone else?

jimmycooper · 03-26-2016, 10:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ilnjscb

I would say mine is expensive, but what do you mean when you say that? I live on the upper west side and I do miss having woods every once in a while, but I'd sooner bang Phyllis Schafly than ever live in the suburbs, anywhere. It's either rural, or Manhattan.

Well expensive is relative so when I say expensive I guess I mean having a housing-to-income ratio which is above and beyond that which most sensible financial advisers would consider as reasonable. haha!

To be approved for a co-op in the city they usually want to see something like a 25% ratio. I guess that's in line with what is normal. At my first apartment in the w. village while working at my first advertising job my rent-to-income ratio was 75%. At peak income my ratio was about 30-35%. At the moment while living off ever-so-decreasing affiliate rebill income and investment income as I work on yet-to-generate-income new projects, I'd say my ratio is at an unfathomable 95%.

And how can you miss trees while living on the UWS? I also live on the UWS, near Colombia right near the Cathedral. We have Central Park and Riverside Park! I'm about to move down to Gramercy and will actually miss being near those parks. Even though I've hardly gone to either, it's been comforting knowing that they there.

I'm also very Manhattan-centric. A lot of people say Brooklyn is cool but I get the feeling that most of them are full of shit. When I first moved here, a lot of my co-workers lived in Hoboken or Astoria and to me that just sounded lame. Though that may change at some point. From 1999-2007, six years in the WV and 1 in the EV, I couldn't fathom the thought of living above 14th st. Then I moved to Hell's Kitchen and loved it. The neighborhood I'm moving to seems kind of lame but it will be a new experience, it's more downtown, i get restless from time to time and the opportunity presented itself. So we'll see.

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Porn Nerd

Yeah just like Woody Allen I get nervous fits when I leave the city. LOL But then again, being out "in the country" is also fantastic so I totally agree with you.

I'm on the UWS too (kinda). We should get a drink sometime and dish about GFY. LOL We'll get JimmyCooper to come with us!

Count me in!

Rochard · 03-26-2016, 10:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DraX

Just curious, if you don't mind answering, that house at $1500 per month, is that your own house and you pay loan/mortage worth $1500 or you rent it from someone else?

I pay a mortgage.

The Porn Nerd · 03-26-2016, 11:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jimmycooper

Well expensive is relative so when I say expensive I guess I mean having a housing-to-income ratio which is above and beyond that which most sensible financial advisers would consider as reasonable. haha!

To be approved for a co-op in the city they usually want to see something like a 25% ratio. I guess that's in line with what is normal. At my first apartment in the w. village while working at my first advertising job my rent-to-income ratio was 75%. At peak income my ratio was about 30-35%. At the moment while living off ever-so-decreasing affiliate rebill income and investment income as I work on yet-to-generate-income new projects, I'd say my ratio is at an unfathomable 95%.

And how can you miss trees while living on the UWS? I also live on the UWS, near Colombia right near the Cathedral. We have Central Park and Riverside Park! I'm about to move down to Gramercy and will actually miss being near those parks. Even though I've hardly gone to either, it's been comforting knowing that they there.

I'm also very Manhattan-centric. A lot of people say Brooklyn is cool but I get the feeling that most of them are full of shit. When I first moved here, a lot of my co-workers lived in Hoboken or Astoria and to me that just sounded lame. Though that may change at some point. From 1999-2007, six years in the WV and 1 in the EV, I couldn't fathom the thought of living above 14th st. Then I moved to Hell's Kitchen and loved it. The neighborhood I'm moving to seems kind of lame but it will be a new experience, it's more downtown, i get restless from time to time and the opportunity presented itself. So we'll see.

Count me in!

OK definitely!

I lived all over too. I once had a place (with a roommate) on 33th & 3rd so I loved saying to cabbies, 'Take me to turdy-turd and turd'. LOL Also in E.Village (1st and 6th) back when there were dealers on every corner (around 1995). But mostly it's been the UWS. Gramercy is cool tho, you will dig it. It's a quiet little nest inside Manhattan. LOL Do you have a key to Gramercy Park? Only residents can get inside that little thing. It must be a wonderland in there. Haha!!

Walk down to 1st and 14th and you're in the EV, go west a little and it's midtown mania. The only drag is no subway nearby tho they are working on that.

jimmycooper · 03-27-2016, 01:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Porn Nerd

OK definitely!

I lived all over too. I once had a place (with a roommate) on 33th & 3rd so I loved saying to cabbies, 'Take me to turdy-turd and turd'. LOL Also in E.Village (1st and 6th) back when there were dealers on every corner (around 1995). But mostly it's been the UWS. Gramercy is cool tho, you will dig it. It's a quiet little nest inside Manhattan. LOL Do you have a key to Gramercy Park? Only residents can get inside that little thing. It must be a wonderland in there. Haha!!

Walk down to 1st and 14th and you're in the EV, go west a little and it's midtown mania. The only drag is no subway nearby tho they are working on that.

No, I won’t have a key. I’ll actually be near 25th/Lex. I just say Gramercy because it’s easier and the neighborhood really doesn’t have an official name. Seems to be south of Murray Hill but north of Gramercy

I’ll be subleasing a friend’s place while he goes on a trip around the world for a year. The building is not that great but he seemed pretty stressed about having to lease it out to a stranger (it’s rent stabilized) and I’ve been getting sick of uptown so it seemed like the right thing to do.

I had a great experience living in the East Village. It was around 2005ish so a much more gentrified than mid-90s. There were still dealers on every corner but thankfully I had their cell numbers so would usually just call them and have them swing by rather than meet them outside for a risky street corner transaction. lol

First was on third between 2nd and Bowery. A lot of the neighborhood had started to gentrify by then but not that block. It was before the hotel. I was across the street from what I think was a halfway house or something. It was after a break up where my ex kept the nice place in the wv. First I moved to the Chelsea (think I mentioned having stayed there in a post awhile ago) but had to find a place quickly as it was pretty expensive. I found the place on CL, rented it from this guy while he went to France to work on a movie which apparently never got made. He had a bunch of cool books about 80s east village in the apartment and I read a few when staying there. Even though the block was insanely ghetto it was a really, really fun few months. After that I stayed with a friend for about 6 months on 10th between 1st and 2nd (right across from the old 2nd Ave. Deli where Al Goldstein worked) before finally getting my own place on the west side and returning to at least a semi-normal life. Good times!

Where did you hang out?

Jules on St. Marks was my go-to first date place in 2000-2001. What about Niagara, No Malice Palace, Veselka? All those were around back in the early 2000s if not the mid 90s.

Remember Brownies? There were two of them. The live music place on A between 10th/11th. Saw The Strokes and Interpol play there a few times in 2000-2001. And also there was the secret after hours one on 13th between A/B where you had to knock on the door...

Reminiscing is fun!

JesseQuinn · 03-27-2016, 10:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Porn Nerd

Personally I HATE the idea of being the one who always pays for everything and have the woman look at me like I'm her fucking daddy or something. LOL

exactly, you hit it right there.

we can all pretend that money is nothing but paper, but truth is money equals security, options, and yes, power.

I'm in a comically happy relationship (together for ten years, married for two) but I can't imagine having to justify my spending or savings patterns to him, or how it would feel to know my economic security would alter dramatically were we to split. Hell, first thing we did after we moved to this island was set up my resident status so that I wouldn't be kicked off island if he divorced me (initially moved here on a spousal visa).

divorce is not something either us desire but we both knew that settling the status issue was important; to be equals partners in a relationship both need to be uh, actually equal. that's something most stay at home parents don't get to enjoy. Or they do, to the extent the supporting partner determines.

having to ask my dude for cash? ugh, fuck that. do not want.

the same holds true in reverse. I don't care about shit like tv, electronics, speakers, etc but my guy does. his system for tv and gaming is insanely elaborate/expensive and I think it's ridiculous but it makes him happy so cool. he buys that stuff with his own money ergo it's none of my business, and I get to enjoy the dulcet tones of grenades when he plays cod so win/win. I give a lot of money to social causes i care about and tend to put the rest in really conservative savings and my guy teases me about both but again, can't say ish because I do that with my own money.

think about how many potential conflicts over priorities are avoided because we each choose how to spend and save our own money, what's left over after all our shared goals/expenses are paid for. just seems crazy to me that some peeps here are contributing to this thread without addressing the power issue. It's fucking central and needs to be. how many of y'all want your security to be based on another human being?

tl;dr Being economically dependent upon another person places the recipient at a disadvantage, and as you illustrated above, often results in a parent/child power dynamic. I want my guy to know I'm with him because I want to be, not because I've come to rely upon his paycheck.

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Porn Nerd

And I think most people are 'miserable as fuck' because they have small dreams, small lives and no imagination.

word on that. their loss

The Porn Nerd · 03-28-2016, 08:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jimmycooper

No, I won’t have a key. I’ll actually be near 25th/Lex. I just say Gramercy because it’s easier and the neighborhood really doesn’t have an official name. Seems to be south of Murray Hill but north of Gramercy

I’ll be subleasing a friend’s place while he goes on a trip around the world for a year. The building is not that great but he seemed pretty stressed about having to lease it out to a stranger (it’s rent stabilized) and I’ve been getting sick of uptown so it seemed like the right thing to do.

I had a great experience living in the East Village. It was around 2005ish so a much more gentrified than mid-90s. There were still dealers on every corner but thankfully I had their cell numbers so would usually just call them and have them swing by rather than meet them outside for a risky street corner transaction. lol

First was on third between 2nd and Bowery. A lot of the neighborhood had started to gentrify by then but not that block. It was before the hotel. I was across the street from what I think was a halfway house or something. It was after a break up where my ex kept the nice place in the wv. First I moved to the Chelsea (think I mentioned having stayed there in a post awhile ago) but had to find a place quickly as it was pretty expensive. I found the place on CL, rented it from this guy while he went to France to work on a movie which apparently never got made. He had a bunch of cool books about 80s east village in the apartment and I read a few when staying there. Even though the block was insanely ghetto it was a really, really fun few months. After that I stayed with a friend for about 6 months on 10th between 1st and 2nd (right across from the old 2nd Ave. Deli where Al Goldstein worked) before finally getting my own place on the west side and returning to at least a semi-normal life. Good times!

Where did you hang out?

Jules on St. Marks was my go-to first date place in 2000-2001. What about Niagara, No Malice Palace, Veselka? All those were around back in the early 2000s if not the mid 90s.

Remember Brownies? There were two of them. The live music place on A between 10th/11th. Saw The Strokes and Interpol play there a few times in 2000-2001. And also there was the secret after hours one on 13th between A/B where you had to knock on the door...

Reminiscing is fun!

I think you will like your new neighborhood. I dated a girl who lived on 36th between Park and Lex. It's kind of a forgotten little spot in the center of Manhattan. I really liked it and there are a lot of cool new places around there.

I know ALL the places you mentioned. LOL I miss the 2nd Ave Deli (isn't it on 3rd now? LOL). I miss Al Goldstein too tho I never saw him there. I knew him when he ran Screw.

I pretty much left the city for about five years around 2000-2005 while I got my shit together and figured out what to do after the music biz. Except for the divorce part (never been married) this is shit is true:

http://www.thepornnerd.com/mystory/

But back in the '90's I would hang out at KGB and drink vodka, or go to Webster Hall or Irving Plaza, been to Brownie's....

I also think I know that after hours place (tho it certainly changed after I went there way back in 1989). When I went it was called King Tut's Wah Wah Bar and it had mud on the dance floor. You had to take off your shirt to dance and they served straight vodka or tequila in dixie cups. Opened at 4 am and closed at 7 if I recall. Crazy times.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JesseQuinn

exactly, you hit it right there.

we can all pretend that money is nothing but paper, but truth is money equals security, options, and yes, power.

I'm in a comically happy relationship (together for ten years, married for two) but I can't imagine having to justify my spending or savings patterns to him, or how it would feel to know my economic security would alter dramatically were we to split. Hell, first thing we did after we moved to this island was set up my resident status so that I wouldn't be kicked off island if he divorced me (initially moved here on a spousal visa).

divorce is not something either us desire but we both knew that settling the status issue was important; to be equals partners in a relationship both need to be uh, actually equal. that's something most stay at home parents don't get to enjoy. Or they do, to the extent the supporting partner determines.

having to ask my dude for cash? ugh, fuck that. do not want.

the same holds true in reverse. I don't care about shit like tv, electronics, speakers, etc but my guy does. his system for tv and gaming is insanely elaborate/expensive and I think it's ridiculous but it makes him happy so cool. he buys that stuff with his own money ergo it's none of my business, and I get to enjoy the dulcet tones of grenades when he plays cod so win/win. I give a lot of money to social causes i care about and tend to put the rest in really conservative savings and my guy teases me about both but again, can't say ish because I do that with my own money.

think about how many potential conflicts over priorities are avoided because we each choose how to spend and save our own money, what's left over after all our shared goals/expenses are paid for. just seems crazy to me that some peeps here are contributing to this thread without addressing the power issue. It's fucking central and needs to be. how many of y'all want your security to be based on another human being?

tl;dr Being economically dependent upon another person places the recipient at a disadvantage, and as you illustrated above, often results in a parent/child power dynamic. I want my guy to know I'm with him because I want to be, not because I've come to rely upon his paycheck.

word on that. their loss

See? Timing is everything. You're the perfect girl - got a sister? LOL

My last girlfriend was a bit of a gold digger but what do you expect from a porn star? LOL Learned my lesson the hard way (no more porn stars!) but it also taught me some important things. She was looking for a Sugar Daddy yet her life was miserable. She had lots of skills outside of porn but instead preferred to have men pay for her life - and hated men (and herself?) for it. Very sad actually. I wish her well but taking care of yourself should always be Job #1.

AmeliaG · 03-28-2016, 08:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Porn Nerd

I think you will like your new neighborhood. I dated a girl who lived on 36th between Park and Lex. It's kind of a forgotten little spot in the center of Manhattan. I really liked it and there are a lot of cool new places around there.

I know ALL the places you mentioned. LOL I miss the 2nd Ave Deli (isn't it on 3rd now? LOL). I miss Al Goldstein too tho I never saw him there. I knew him when he ran Screw.

I pretty much left the city for about five years around 2000-2005 while I got my shit together and figured out what to do after the music biz. Except for the divorce part (never been married) this is shit is true:

http://www.thepornnerd.com/mystory/

But back in the '90's I would hang out at KGB and drink vodka, or go to Webster Hall or Irving Plaza, been to Brownie's....

I also think I know that after hours place (tho it certainly changed after I went there way back in 1989). When I went it was called King Tut's Wah Wah Bar and it had mud on the dance floor. You had to take off your shirt to dance and they served straight vodka or tequila in dixie cups. Opened at 4 am and closed at 7 if I recall. Crazy times.

See? Timing is everything. You're the perfect girl - got a sister? LOL

My last girlfriend was a bit of a gold digger but what do you expect from a porn star? LOL Learned my lesson the hard way (no more porn stars!) but it also taught me some important things. She was looking for a Sugar Daddy yet her life was miserable. She had lots of skills outside of porn but instead preferred to have men pay for her life - and hated men (and herself?) for it. Very sad actually. I wish her well but taking care of yourself should always be Job #1.

Still have a Screw T-shirt.

David Aaron Clark (RIP) wrote the first really big feature on my Blue Blood magazine in print and I was so jazzed to be in a publication like that.

Ross · 03-28-2016, 09:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by selena

It is my dream. If only for a year.

I think your dream would come crashing down on top of you pretty rapidly. My friend lived in London, UK and was transferred to work in NYC. She was heading up a pilot program for American Express and she did so well they moved her to the NYC office to bring it to North America. Of course she jumped at the chance, who wouldn't want to live and work in NYC? So she negotiated a nice salary increase over her London salary, she negotiated moving expenses of $15,000 and found an apartment.

She was in Jersey City, 8 min subway ride from her office in Manhattan financial district, she paid $3,000 USD a month for a tiny 1 bedroom, albeit with amazing views but still, so small. She lasted just under 2 years before she moved back home to Scotland to a new job with a big raise and her living costs slashed by 70%.

CaptainHowdy · 03-28-2016, 10:29 AM

I look down on male feminists ...

The Porn Nerd · 03-28-2016, 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ross

I think your dream would come crashing down on top of you pretty rapidly. My friend lived in London, UK and was transferred to work in NYC. She was heading up a pilot program for American Express and she did so well they moved her to the NYC office to bring it to North America. Of course she jumped at the chance, who wouldn't want to live and work in NYC? So she negotiated a nice salary increase over her London salary, she negotiated moving expenses of $15,000 and found an apartment.

She was in Jersey City, 8 min subway ride from her office in Manhattan financial district, she paid $3,000 USD a month for a tiny 1 bedroom, albeit with amazing views but still, so small. She lasted just under 2 years before she moved back home to Scotland to a new job with a big raise and her living costs slashed by 70%.

Well of course she flamed out. She's British/Scottish and we New Yorkers HATE these people (kidding). LOL

Jersey City for 3k a month? Another reason to say fuck it. I wouldn't live in Jersey City if you paid me $3000 a week.

She would've been better off with a cool roommate who knew the city closer to where she worked so no commute, more room and (best of all) no New Jersey. But you do bring up a good point: tose who move here from elsewhere, and are used to a lot of space, reasonable living expenses and driving everywhere, often have trouble adjusting. That's why the saying goes, "If you can make it here you can make it anywhere."

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaptainHowdy

I look down on male feminists ...

I'm a feminist. I'm very pro-chick.

CaptainHowdy · 03-28-2016, 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Porn Nerd

I'm a feminist. I'm very pro-chick.

The Porn Nerd · 03-28-2016, 12:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaptainHowdy

I said I was pro-chick, not pro-dumpling.

Ross · 03-28-2016, 01:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Porn Nerd

Well of course she flamed out. She's British/Scottish and we New Yorkers HATE these people (kidding). LOL

Jersey City for 3k a month? Another reason to say fuck it. I wouldn't live in Jersey City if you paid me $3000 a week.

She would've been better off with a cool roommate who knew the city closer to where she worked so no commute, more room and (best of all) no New Jersey. But you do bring up a good point: tose who move here from elsewhere, and are used to a lot of space, reasonable living expenses and driving everywhere, often have trouble adjusting. That's why the saying goes, "If you can make it here you can make it anywhere."

She loved living there, it was a love hate kind of thing, the cost of living was just insane. She was recently married so a room mate wasn't an option and coming from London, she wasn't exactly used to huge places but still the prices in New York were significantly more than London.

Her husband was finishing his degree so only worked part time, perhaps if he was all finished and working in his field bringing in another +$50k a year, it would be a different story. She said she wouldn't change the experience for anything tho but they are really enjoying the extra money now. Especially when he husband starts his full time job in 1 month, they will be saving a lot of their house.

I agree tho, if you can make it in NYC then nowhere will really be an issue. It's just not for me. I'd rather just visit.

jimmycooper · 03-28-2016, 10:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Porn Nerd

I think you will like your new neighborhood. I dated a girl who lived on 36th between Park and Lex. It's kind of a forgotten little spot in the center of Manhattan. I really liked it and there are a lot of cool new places around there.

I know ALL the places you mentioned. LOL I miss the 2nd Ave Deli (isn't it on 3rd now? LOL). I miss Al Goldstein too tho I never saw him there. I knew him when he ran Screw.

I pretty much left the city for about five years around 2000-2005 while I got my shit together and figured out what to do after the music biz. Except for the divorce part (never been married) this is shit is true:

http://www.thepornnerd.com/mystory/

But back in the '90's I would hang out at KGB and drink vodka, or go to Webster Hall or Irving Plaza, been to Brownie's....

I also think I know that after hours place (tho it certainly changed after I went there way back in 1989). When I went it was called King Tut's Wah Wah Bar and it had mud on the dance floor. You had to take off your shirt to dance and they served straight vodka or tequila in dixie cups. Opened at 4 am and closed at 7 if I recall. Crazy times.

cool bio. cl was an absolute goldmine back in the day. unreal. i think the anonymity of casual encounters really meshed well with the mindset of people in the city.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmeliaG

Still have a Screw T-shirt.

David Aaron Clark (RIP) wrote the first really big feature on my Blue Blood magazine in print and I was so jazzed to be in a publication like that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Porn Nerd

Well of course she flamed out. She's British/Scottish and we New Yorkers HATE these people (kidding). LOL

Jersey City for 3k a month? Another reason to say fuck it. I wouldn't live in Jersey City if you paid me $3000 a week.

She would've been better off with a cool roommate who knew the city closer to where she worked so no commute, more room and (best of all) no New Jersey. But you do bring up a good point: tose who move here from elsewhere, and are used to a lot of space, reasonable living expenses and driving everywhere, often have trouble adjusting. That's why the saying goes, "If you can make it here you can make it anywhere."

I thought about it and as far as i can recall the only time i've had an issue with a lack of space was last year. I bought a really nice bike but only used it 3x in 5 months and it seemed like it was always getting in the way so I got rid of it. Probably would have kept it if there somewhere better to put it.

The Porn Nerd · 03-28-2016, 10:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ross

She loved living there, it was a love hate kind of thing, the cost of living was just insane. She was recently married so a room mate wasn't an option and coming from London, she wasn't exactly used to huge places but still the prices in New York were significantly more than London.

Her husband was finishing his degree so only worked part time, perhaps if he was all finished and working in his field bringing in another +$50k a year, it would be a different story. She said she wouldn't change the experience for anything tho but they are really enjoying the extra money now. Especially when he husband starts his full time job in 1 month, they will be saving a lot of their house.

I agree tho, if you can make it in NYC then nowhere will really be an issue. It's just not for me. I'd rather just visit.

Yeah they will be far happier being married and getting an actual house. I don't know how married couples do it in the city, have kids, etc. I grew up on the border of New jersey/New York, in the mountains and woods. We had horses and farms around us back then. LOL Not quite a hick but seriously provincial.

Funny too, many New Yorkers claim London is now far more expensive than New York. I bet they are close to equal. A quick search for a one bedroom Upper West Side apartment was anywhere from $3000 - $5000+. LOL Wow. No wonder I live twenty minutes away in Washington heights for less than half that.

sperbonzo · 03-29-2016, 09:56 AM

My wife is indian, born and raised in South Africa. She had a successful career as an occupational therapist when we met, left her career 5 years later when she got pregnant, and went back to it after a year at home, first part time, and once my son went into daycare /preschool, then she went back to full time work.

She loves her work, but it's starting to get hard on her (wrestling with developmentally challenged kids all day beats you up!) and she is thinking of leaving work altogether next year so that we can adopt a baby.

She loved staying at home with my son, and was definitely NOT bored. It's all about what you do with your time.

.

03-25-2016, 05:26 PM	#51
AmeliaG Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 10,553	Okay, now that I have that ridiculous pussy VikingMan on ignore, I can actually read this thread through and reply. I think there are both men and women who would love to stay home with their kids, during their formative years. And both men and women who would way rather be in an office. People like most of us, who work online, can get to have their cake and eat it too, with this choice. So that is kind of awesome. Other than the actual pregnancy and recuperation part, there is no reason the father can't be the stay-at-home caretaker, whether or not he works at home too. Personally, if it is an either or choice, I would waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay rather work. No contest. __________________ GFY Hall of Famer AltStar Hall of Famer Blue Blood's SpookyCash.com Babe photography portfolio

03-26-2016, 03:38 PM	#58
JesseQuinn feeding the wolves Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: between sand and stars in Jamaica Posts: 6,353	First off, gotta break out of the mindset that women are some monolithic group who all share the same dreams and values. I'm 37 and no kids. Had my tubes tied at 29 and have never had a moment of regret since. And I live in a country where peeps of both genders look at me like I have two heads when I say that. I like kids as long as they go back to their own parents after I'm finished playing with them, but to have one of my own? Never felt a maternal urge, ever. Prob helped that my mom did at home babysitting for a spell while I was growing up, so saw what the work actually entails. It's kinda messy and frustrating. That's not even getting into carrying another human being around inside you for 9 months and not knowing what will happen to your body after. I know this is supposed to be normal but it's horror scifi to me. My point? Some women don't even get to the point of the work/family dilemma. In terms of being a stay at home mom with no job/career, even if I had kids fuck that ish. I don't ever want to be economically dependent upon another human being, let alone responsible for someone else in addition. I love my partner, he's my best friend and I trust him with every cell of my being but put myself in a vulnerable position even given that? I would consider that a foolish choice. Let alone being surrounded by nothing but baby talk and women talking about their own kids...I would wither and fucking die. Most peeps would prefer not to work if independently wealthy but the reason we all do is because there are benefits attached. We have our own $$$$, we have current work experience (try going back to work after 10 years at home, no matter one's education) and we get to talk to other adults about shit other than our own families. I admire women who can devote their lives to raising children. I'm the beneficiary of that (my mom always worked but made me and my bro her #1 priority by a mile) so I know how valuable it is. Just not something many of us are cut out for. Different dreams and values, no one any more legit/valuable than any others (and most peeps seem miserable as fuck no matter their family status) __________________ throwing molotav cocktails at the precinct

03-26-2016, 03:59 PM	#59
JesseQuinn feeding the wolves Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: between sand and stars in Jamaica Posts: 6,353	and Amelia is fucking awesome. I'll be organizing a 'hate women and children' parade next weekend, hoping she'll fly down to be flagbearer __________________ throwing molotav cocktails at the precinct

03-26-2016, 04:02 PM	#60
CaptainHowdy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Happy in the dark. Posts: 93,416	Women will always be miserable no matter what ... __________________ "Tjeezers.cam wishes you a nice day”

03-28-2016, 10:29 AM	#73
CaptainHowdy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Happy in the dark. Posts: 93,416	I look down on male feminists ... __________________ "Tjeezers.cam wishes you a nice day”

03-25-2016, 06:15 PM	#53
azvixen Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 12	Actually, women I meet and associate with have children and work from home. They work from home for corporations, direct sales, business coaches, and others have created their own corporation. Who wouldn't want to raise your own children! Working from home is becoming trend for many men and women, you sexist pigs that believe women won't be happy no matter what. I cannot believe the level of chauvinists on this post.

03-25-2016, 06:55 PM	#55
VikingMan Exploiting human weakness Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: next to a salmon stream Posts: 6,511	Amelia lives in LA? Ok well anyone who has spent time in LA knows that this is the worst city to live in if you are : 1. Black (Amelia what are you and the social justice warriors doing to resolve the extreme racism toward black people in LA?) 2. A female over 40 (Amelia what you and the social justice warriors doing to resolve the extreme sexism and age-ism in LA?) The answer: You are going to do nothing about the racism, sexism, and age-ism in LA/Hollywood because the idea to oppose it is not implanted in to your fucking pea brain by the TV, movies, and news that you consume. LA just gets a "pass" while pumping out propaganda to the masses which is completely hypocritical. Even more blatant is the racism, sexism, and age-ism in the porn world. No doubt your portfolio of sites reflects on various ages and backgrounds of performers does it not? Amelia you cannot pick and chose from a basket of of political correctness and then try to shame someone for simply suggesting that not only should women follow their dreams, get educated, and have a career but also consider their biological clocks and the FACT THAT THEY ARE WOMEN AND MIGHT WANT TO HAVE A FAMILY? Having a family and also having a high flying career or working insane hours does not work. Yes I know the TV tells you that you can put a god damned 1 month old baby in the corner of your office and he she will be perfectly quiet and content while you have affairs with your boss and run a business. What about the kids do they not have rights as well? How about the right to a decent childhood? It is legal to put your 1 month old baby in daycare for 50 hours a week. Do you think that 1 month old might want to have his or her mother instead? It is child abuse to put a baby in child care for 50 hours a week but many women who have bought into the bullshit which the media has programmed into their brain end up putting their baby through 40 too 50 hours of being cared for by an overworked and stressed out child care provider (other than their mother or father) every week. To oppose my idea seems very anti-female and anti-child. Why are you so anti-female and anti-child? Why do you hate women and children?

03-25-2016, 07:13 PM	#56
VikingMan Exploiting human weakness Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: next to a salmon stream Posts: 6,511	Even worse I made a typo. Oh fuck.

03-29-2016, 09:56 AM	#80
sperbonzo I'd rather be on my boat. Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Location: Miami, FL Posts: 9,748	My wife is indian, born and raised in South Africa. She had a successful career as an occupational therapist when we met, left her career 5 years later when she got pregnant, and went back to it after a year at home, first part time, and once my son went into daycare /preschool, then she went back to full time work. She loves her work, but it's starting to get hard on her (wrestling with developmentally challenged kids all day beats you up!) and she is thinking of leaving work altogether next year so that we can adopt a baby. She loved staying at home with my son, and was definitely NOT bored. It's all about what you do with your time. . __________________ Michael Sperber / Acella Financial LLC/ Online Payment Processing [email protected] / http://Acellafinancial.com/ ICQ 177961090 / Tel +1 909 NET BILL / Skype msperber