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Old 11-29-2004, 04:31 AM   #27651
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Peter Griffin: Oh... Fine... Fine... I guess were also not going with Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Lowery's Seasoning Salt. (Peter Scoffs) That's it I'm going to 'Nam.
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:32 AM   #27652
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Chris Griffin: Hey, mom, look at these bananas.
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:32 AM   #27653
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Lois Griffin: It's Ok. Right before the Apocalypse, Peter bought a year's worth of food.
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:33 AM   #27654
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Peter Griffin: You know what I haven't had in a while? Big League Chew.
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:33 AM   #27655
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Stewie Griffin: Dear Stupid Dog, I've gone to live with the children on Jolly Farm. Good-bye forever, Stewie. P.S.- I never got a chance to return that sweater Lois gave me for Christmas, I left the receipt on top of my bureau. I'm probably over the 30-day return limit, but I'm sure if you make a fuss they'll at least give you a store credit or something. It's actually not a horrible sweater, it's just I can't imagine when I would ever wear it, you know? Oh and I also left a button on the bureau, um I'm not sure what it goes to but um I, I can never bring myself to throw a button away, I know as soon as I do, I'll find the garment it goes to and then it'll, wait a minute actually could it have been from the sweater? Did that sweater have buttons? Hmm. Well I should wrap this up before I start to ramble. Again good-bye forever. PPS- You know what, it might be a little chilly in London, I'm actually going to take the sweater.
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:33 AM   #27656
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Stewie: Fine. Why do you ask?
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:34 AM   #27657
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Doctor: Mr. Griffin I'm saying you're fine.
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:34 AM   #27658
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Stewie Griffin: Oh wait. I should have said "chi wa-wa".
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:34 AM   #27659
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Peter Griffin: And, um, neither will that guy.
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:35 AM   #27660
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Peter Griffin: OK, you can have an apple pie but you cant blow on it.
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:35 AM   #27661
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Peter Griffin: I'm looking for some toilet training books.
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:36 AM   #27662
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Peter Griffin: You hear that Lois? You love kids.
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:36 AM   #27663
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Peter Griffin: Oh, I hate it when your mother worries. She usually says things like "I told you so" and "Stop doing that, I'm asleep."
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:36 AM   #27664
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Peter Griffin: Lois, the bar has been taken over by a bunch of lousy, limey, no-good, tea-sucking British bastards.
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:37 AM   #27665
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Diane Simmons: Well Tom, I just plain don't like black people.
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:37 AM   #27666
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Jesus: For my next miracle, I will turn water... into FUNK.
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:38 AM   #27667
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["Hollywood Squares" parody]
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:38 AM   #27668
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Glen Quagmire: Does this look like a Q to you?
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:38 AM   #27669
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[walks into an outhouse]
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:39 AM   #27670
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Jeremy: Uhh, yeah... my white cell count.
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:39 AM   #27671
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Chris Griffin: [after eating vegetables] It tastes like a monkey. A monkey that's past its prime!
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:40 AM   #27672
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[Stewie is sitting in between Meg and Peter dressed like a prostitute]
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:40 AM   #27673
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[Peter points to a nearby floor lamp, and Chris attacks it and starts fighting with it]
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:40 AM   #27674
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Lois Griffin: This is my son.
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:41 AM   #27675
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Peter Griffin: Chris, everything I say is a lie. Except that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that.
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:41 AM   #27676
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Peter Griffin: If I'm a child, you know what that makes you? A child molester, and I'll be damned if I stand here and get lectured by pervert.
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:41 AM   #27677
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[repeated line]
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:42 AM   #27678
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Stewie: No, you idiot. That's not baby powder, that's paprika. Ahhhhhh. Take that.
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:42 AM   #27679
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Glen Quagmire: Taylor Hanson.
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:43 AM   #27680
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[looks at agent's name tag]
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:43 AM   #27681
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Peter Griffin: You remember that time I was supposed to get that boat?
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:43 AM   #27682
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Guy On Street #2: Depends if he stops to see his ho.
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:44 AM   #27683
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Brian: Too soon?
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:44 AM   #27684
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Peter Griffin: No, he's actually a guy, Quagmire.
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:45 AM   #27685
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George: GO TO YOUR ROOM. For 45 minutes I was out there screaming. I know that because my damn watch is broken.
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:45 AM   #27686
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Peter Griffin: What the hell was that?
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:45 AM   #27687
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Coffin Salesman: What?
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:46 AM   #27688
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[Peter is watching a beer commercial]
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:46 AM   #27689
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Peter Griffin: Oh, Jenny... ooh, Jenny, Ooh, Jenny don't stop... Oh, Richard Jenny, your HBO comedy specials have brought laughter to millions. And what a sweet ass.
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:46 AM   #27690
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[waiter cuts his eggs]
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:47 AM   #27691
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Glen Quagmire: Whoa. Transvestite, back off.
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:47 AM   #27692
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Charles Lindburgh: I'll take care of her.
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:47 AM   #27693
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[showing his crotch to Peter]
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:48 AM   #27694
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Meg Griffin: The frisbee's already been invented.
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:48 AM   #27695
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Francis Griffin: I don't want to be a bother.
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:49 AM   #27696
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Brian: Can I buy some pot from you?
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:49 AM   #27697
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[pause]
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:49 AM   #27698
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Lois Griffin: Oh no, this is Stewie's first violent act.
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:50 AM   #27699
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Englishman: Oh Reginald... I disagree.
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Old 11-29-2004, 04:50 AM   #27700
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Stewie Griffin: Yea and God said to Abraham, "You will kill your son Issac." And Abraham said, "I can't hear you, you'll have to speak into the microphone." And God said, "Oh I'm sorry, Is this better? Check, check, check... Jerry, pull the high end out, I'm still getting some hiss back here."
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