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Old 11-29-2004, 06:42 AM   #28001
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Chris Griffin: I need an adult. I need an adult.
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:43 AM   #28002
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Chris Griffin: Here, it's a Candy-cane. But don't stick it up your nose, it burns like hell.
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:43 AM   #28003
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Old Man: Don't make me beg now.
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:43 AM   #28004
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Meg Griffin: Can I be in the play, Mom?
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:44 AM   #28005
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Aunt Jemimah: You folks want some pancakes?
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:44 AM   #28006
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Peter Griffin: I saw you in that coffee shop, breaking the fifth commandment. Congress passes these things for a reason, Lois.
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:45 AM   #28007
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Chris: It's this girl. I can't talk to her. It's like girls are a different species or something.
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:45 AM   #28008
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Li: Stewie, come complete our rainbow.
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:46 AM   #28009
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Chris Griffin: Awwwwwwwwwww...
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:46 AM   #28010
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Lois Griffin: Brian what... Chris go to your room. Meg take Stewie upstairs.
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:46 AM   #28011
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Meg Griffin: I wish Chris would quit drawing pictures of my head on a pig's body.
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:47 AM   #28012
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Brian Griffin: Whose leg do I have to hump to get a dry martini around here?
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:47 AM   #28013
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[Aunt Jemimah pops up in the window with a plate of pancakes]
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:47 AM   #28014
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Rich Father: [to daughter] Patty, did you know your mother is a whore?
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:48 AM   #28015
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Peter Griffin: Oh, I hate it when your mother worries. She usually says things like "I told you so" and "Stop doing that, I'm asleep."
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:48 AM   #28016
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Stewie Griffin: I don't have to
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:49 AM   #28017
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Pawtucket Pat: Take a drink, and you'll sink, to a world of pure inebriation.
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:49 AM   #28018
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Paul Simon: Yeah, You've been pitching that for an hour. It's just not a very attractive name.
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:49 AM   #28019
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Peter Griffin: You all know how observant I am.
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:50 AM   #28020
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Peter Griffin: I'm Lois. I brake for yard sales but I wont let Peter buy anything he likes like that neon beer sign with the chick who had two mugs for jugs. It was only $8 and we had a dozen places to put it.
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:50 AM   #28021
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Englishman: Oh, let's get him.
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:50 AM   #28022
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Waiter: Your eggs are cut sir.
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:51 AM   #28023
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Al Gore: Dick Army
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:52 AM   #28024
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[Family is trying to hide from mobsters]
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:52 AM   #28025
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Meg Griffin: I wish Chris would quit drawing pictures of my head on a pig's body.
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:52 AM   #28026
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Lois Griffin: What?
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:53 AM   #28027
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Meg: What?
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:53 AM   #28028
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Peter Griffin: [Instucting Chris on a volcano hula dance] No! It's step, pivot, step, hula! Do you want to piss off the volcano?
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:53 AM   #28029
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[beep]
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:54 AM   #28030
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[dialing number]
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:54 AM   #28031
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Stewie: Hidden missile behind the Great Wall? Ancient Chinese secret, huh?
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:55 AM   #28032
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[everyone gasps]
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:55 AM   #28033
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Peter Griffin: If by "read", you mean "imagine the naked lady", then yes.
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:55 AM   #28034
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Chris Griffin: I... I don't have any hams.
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:56 AM   #28035
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Pool Boy: I'm sorry sir, you can't park your van on the diving board.
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:56 AM   #28036
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Southern boy: I learned from church that if you're good you go to heaven but if you're bad, you go to a place where the dead believe they're still living and they pray for death but death won't come.
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:56 AM   #28037
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[walks into an outhouse]
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:57 AM   #28038
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Jesus: For my next miracle, I will turn water... into FUNK.
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:57 AM   #28039
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Peter Griffin: Hey, what do you say for no, doo-doo?
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:58 AM   #28040
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[Peter has had plastic surgery]
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:58 AM   #28041
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Peter Griffin: Oh, you people can kiss the fattest part of my ass.
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:58 AM   #28042
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Meg Griffin: No.
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:59 AM   #28043
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[Brian and Stewie are on a German tour bus]
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:59 AM   #28044
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Brian Griffin: My day? Un-freakin' believable. First we nailed this bastard who had the gall to hide his stuff in his daughter's doll, her doll for god's sake. Where's the line anymore? Well, I got news for ya, it's not even on the radar screen! The days of decency and virtue are gone, honey, BAM, freakin' evaporated like a dingy stinkin' mudpuddle. One day you see your reflection in it and the next day it's a, it's a damn oil spot on your crack driveway, staring back at you, mocking at you, blah, blah, blah, knowing the perverted truths that rot in the pit of your soul. That's how my freakin' day was!
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Old 11-29-2004, 06:59 AM   #28045
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Brian Griffin: ...uh, is that a beer hall?
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Old 11-29-2004, 07:00 AM   #28046
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Peter Griffin: [Thinking to himself "Don't say doing you wife. Don't say doing your wife."] Doing your, uh, son...
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Old 11-29-2004, 07:00 AM   #28047
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Glen Quagmire: Hi, Meg. Eighteen yet?
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Old 11-29-2004, 07:01 AM   #28048
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Bert: Well, Ernie, I wish you wouldn't eat cookies in the DAMN BED.
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Old 11-29-2004, 07:01 AM   #28049
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Stewie Griffin: Soooo Broccoli, mother says you're very good for me. But I'm afraid I'm no good for you.
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Old 11-29-2004, 07:01 AM   #28050
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[holds up a leaf to Chris]
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