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Old 11-29-2004, 08:17 AM   #28251
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Joe Swanson: Ironically, I severed his spine when I landed on him.
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:18 AM   #28252
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Peter: To you she may be worth a million dollars. But to me she's worthless!
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:18 AM   #28253
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Waiter: Your eggs are cut sir.
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:18 AM   #28254
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Lois Griffin: This is my son.
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:19 AM   #28255
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Lois Griffin: Peter, Stewie peed on the carpet again.
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:27 AM   #28256
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Glen Quagmire: Does this look like a Q to you?
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:27 AM   #28257
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Stewie Griffin: Oh, you made flag girl. Great.
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:27 AM   #28258
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[Peter starts laughing]
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:28 AM   #28259
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[she maces him]
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:28 AM   #28260
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[pause]
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:29 AM   #28261
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Al Gore: Dick Army
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:29 AM   #28262
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Peter Griffin: Oh, you people can kiss the fattest part of my ass.
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:29 AM   #28263
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Peter Griffin: [slapping Chris] No, no, no. It's "step right, step LEFT." Are you TRYING to piss off the volcano?
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:30 AM   #28264
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Stewie Griffin: OK, Harold, what do you think of our Mad Lib
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:30 AM   #28265
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Network executive: Mr. Griffin, you can't eat a...
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:30 AM   #28266
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Meg Griffin: Chris! You're hogging all the fans!
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:31 AM   #28267
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Lois Griffin: Peter, did you get a new buttocks?
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:31 AM   #28268
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Stewie Griffin: Oh, how ruthlessly absurd.
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:32 AM   #28269
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[he sees a Griffin fly by]
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:32 AM   #28270
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Huck Griffin: I thought that was your name.
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:32 AM   #28271
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[Meanwhile, in England]
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:33 AM   #28272
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Peter Griffin: Merry Christmas to all, and to all, shut the hell up.
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:33 AM   #28273
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Tom Hanks: I have AIDS.
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:33 AM   #28274
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Stewie: I smell death on you.
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:34 AM   #28275
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Lois Griffin: What?
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:34 AM   #28276
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Peter Griffin: Now what? Are you coming on to me?
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:34 AM   #28277
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Salesman: We have the popular 'everybody poops", or the less popular 'nobody poops but you'.
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:35 AM   #28278
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George: [after being on the dog walker] Did you not hear me out there?
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:35 AM   #28279
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[they laugh]
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:36 AM   #28280
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Brian: I wasn't making a bet. Why don't you just shut up for about a week?
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:36 AM   #28281
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Meg Griffin: Oh... Well, My boyfriend Prince William got me this beautiful watch and this Diamond Tiara and this wonderful Scepter (Meg laughs manically then sobbing).
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:36 AM   #28282
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Joe Swanson: Ironically, I severed his spine when I landed on him.
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:37 AM   #28283
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[gunshots are heard following by a "body drop" sound effect]
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:37 AM   #28284
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Glen Quagmire: Hey there little lady. Why don't you turn around and show me your Lower East Side.
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:38 AM   #28285
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Peter Griffin: Hey. Hey. Stay out of here. Hey. You better not come in here. I'm the Griffin's house. Bring me a tool shed, for I am hungry.
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:38 AM   #28286
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Huck Griffin: I thought that was your name.
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:38 AM   #28287
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[Peter is watching a beer commercial]
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:39 AM   #28288
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Doctor: ...Can't it be both?
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:39 AM   #28289
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Rich Mother: Perhaps I can't bake a ham, but what I can cook up is a little grace and civility at the table.
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:39 AM   #28290
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Paul Simon: Yeah, You've been pitching that for an hour. It's just not a very attractive name.
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:40 AM   #28291
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Peter Griffin: No the rest were FROM the family... weren't they? Aw crap, since when did they change the meaning of for to from?
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:40 AM   #28292
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[he pushes a button on the G.I. Jew action figure]
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:40 AM   #28293
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Pearl Burton: What is this, snot soup?
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:41 AM   #28294
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Jim: Yes. Thank you.
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:41 AM   #28295
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Chris Griffin: Jus' layin' back in the cot, peepin' at this here homey. Yo, Pops, lemme have some cheddar. Some playa-hata be throwin' salt in my game - grillin' me over my gear. An' I needs to be mackin' style!
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:42 AM   #28296
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[a parody of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory]
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:42 AM   #28297
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Peter Griffin: I'm going to go to the bathroom.
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:42 AM   #28298
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[Flashbacks to one year ago]
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:43 AM   #28299
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Peter Griffin: [singing to the tune of U Can't Touch this] Ah ah ah. Can't Touch Me/ Can't Touch me/ Ja ja ja ja just like the bad guy/ from Lethal Weapon 2/ I've got diplomatic Immunity/ so Hammer, you can't sue/ I can write graffiti even jay-walk in the streets/ I can Riot, loot, not give a hoot, and touch your sister's teat/ Can't touch me/ Can't touch me/
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Old 11-29-2004, 08:43 AM   #28300
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Lois Griffin: Oh no, this is Stewie's first violent act.
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