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#27601 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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Glen Quagmire: Tuesdays in the '80s I was always in bed by 8... and home by 11.
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#27602 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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[Peter starts laughing uncontrollably]
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#27603 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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Peter Griffin: Joe, I've had new neighbors before but none of them were half the man you are. And since you're half a man already, that splits them into some kind of fraction I can't even measure.
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#27604 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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Peter Griffin: Rea... Really?
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#27605 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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Glen Quagmire: Hey, any of you ladies been penetrated?
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#27606 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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Tom Tucker: Due to an accident today at the Quahog Cable Company, all television transmissions will be out for an undetermined ammount of time. Of course no one can see this news program so it doesn't really matter what we say. I'm the lord Jesus Christ. I think I'll go get drunk and beat up some midgets. How about you, Diane?
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#27607 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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Meg: What?
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#27608 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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Quagmire: Here's to the Drunken Clam, boys. Where they don't ask for proof of age and neither do I.
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#27609 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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Lois Griffin: Now Chris, these are called "plantains". In fact, some women prefer them to normal size bananas because they're exotic and flavorful, and very very special.
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#27610 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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Peter Griffin: Dad, now that you're retired, you're staying with us. No arguments, I'm putting my foot down.
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#27611 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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Peter Griffin: I had to. My old one had a crack in it.
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#27612 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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Chris Griffin: You should invent the frisbee! The frisbee is an awesome toy!
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#27613 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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Peter Griffin: They look at me and see a loser. Except that guy with the lazy eye... He sees a loser and a snack machine.
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#27614 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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Peter Griffin: ... Griffin. Peter Griffin.
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#27615 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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Peter Griffin: Phhhhh, ha ha ha ha. Hey Dick, What's Your Wife's Name? Vagina Coastguard?
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#27616 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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[Flashback to Peter sitting at a drive-in, facing the wrong way]
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#27617 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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Announcer: [For Homicide: Life on Sesame Street] This show contains adult content, and is brought to you by the letter H.
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#27618 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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Coffin Salesman: Sir that casket costs $1000.
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#27619 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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Peter Griffin: Not as painful as a tire iron upside your head.
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#27620 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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[looks at agent's name tag]
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#27621 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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Stewie Griffin: What the hell is this?
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#27622 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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Joe Swanson: Taylor Hanson is a guy.
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#27623 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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Peter Griffin: What the hell was that?
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#27624 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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Dustin Hoffman: [as Ben Braddock] Are you trying to seduce me, Mr. Tucker?
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#27625 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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Tom Bergeron: Ok, Jeremy... is there anything lower than absolute zero?
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#27626 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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Stewie: No, you idiot. That's not baby powder, that's paprika. Ahhhhhh. Take that.
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#27627 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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Pool Boy: Oh, my apologies. Hey, Tom. He's not a van, he's just a fat kid.
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#27628 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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Stewie Griffin: I'll wait until you're finished. Are you done? Because I thought this show was called "Kids Say the Darndest Things, " not "Old Black Comedians Who Never Shut The Hell Up."
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#27629 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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Lois Griffin: Peter, where's Chris?
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#27630 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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Peter Griffin: Holy crap, that guy must've been wasted 24 hours a day.
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#27631 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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Stewie Griffin: Really? I could have sworn it was cat food.
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#27632 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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Chris Griffin: Oh yeah? Well you're hogging all the UGLY!
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#27633 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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Stewie Griffin: Do these huggies make my ass look big?
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#27634 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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Englishman #1: I say, you know what's really funny? A man dressed in women's clothing.
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#27635 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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Peter Griffin: Brothers and sisters fighting is as natural as a white mans dialogue in a Spike Lee movie.
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#27636 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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Elroy: But...
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#27637 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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[the Griffins have inherited a mansion. Stewie is being waited on]
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#27638 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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[wiggles his tongue like a snake]
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#27639 |
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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Lois Griffin: Stewie that's tuna salad.
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#27640 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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Peter Griffin: Oh, Boy! I remember my first job. I was in a folk music trio.
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#27641 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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Brian: Why don't you shut up for about a week?
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#27642 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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Peter Griffin: OK, you can supersize but no apple pie.
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#27643 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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[walks into an outhouse]
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#27644 |
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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Francis Griffin: I don't want to be a bother.
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#27645 |
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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Glen Quagmire: Just checkin'.
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#27646 |
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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Peter Griffin: ... tear...
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#27647 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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Chris Griffin: I... I don't have any hams.
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#27648 |
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Quagmire: Eighteen? You're first.
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#27649 |
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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German Tour Guide: You vill find more on Germany's contributions to ze arts in ze pamphlets ve have provided.
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#27650 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 5,064
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Peter Griffin: This party couldn't be better if Jesus was here.
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