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Old 12-10-2004, 02:19 PM   #31151
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Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:19 PM   #31152
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Hey, where did your smile go? (Check back pocket) Here it is!
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:19 PM   #31153
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Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:19 PM   #31154
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Hey, you owe me a drink. (Answers): why? Or I do? ---Because I dropped mine
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:20 PM   #31155
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Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:20 PM   #31156
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when you walked past!
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:20 PM   #31157
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All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:20 PM   #31158
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Hey, You were great on Bay Watch last night!
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:21 PM   #31159
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Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:21 PM   #31160
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Hey... Didn't I see your name in the dictionary under "Kablaam"?
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:21 PM   #31161
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In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:21 PM   #31162
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Hi, are you here to meet a nice man or will I do?
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:22 PM   #31163
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Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realise that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:22 PM   #31164
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Hi, do you speak English? (yes.) Oh, me too.
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:22 PM   #31165
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How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:22 PM   #31166
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Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:23 PM   #31167
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My doctor gave me six months to live seven months ago, but as I did not pay the bill he gave me another six months.
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:23 PM   #31168
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say no.
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:23 PM   #31169
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I'm not as think as you confused I am.
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:23 PM   #31170
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Hi, I make more money than you can spend.
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:24 PM   #31171
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It takes a disaster to make a woman out of a female.
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:24 PM   #31172
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Hi, I need your help! My mom says that if I don't get a date by tomorrow,
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:24 PM   #31173
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I have a good memory; it's just very short.
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:24 PM   #31174
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she's putting me up for adoption.
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:25 PM   #31175
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No matter how busy I am, I'm never too busy to stop and complain about how busy I am.
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:25 PM   #31176
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Hi, I'm a fashion photographer. Would you like to be in my next photo shoot?
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:25 PM   #31177
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Never put off til tomorrow what you can do today, for, if you like it, you can do it again tomorrow.
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:26 PM   #31178
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Hi, I'm Batman. Wanna see my batmobile?
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:26 PM   #31179
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Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can't find them
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:26 PM   #31180
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Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:26 PM   #31181
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Don't let yourself become the mouse or the cat will eat you
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:27 PM   #31182
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Hi, my name's Right...Mr. Right.
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:27 PM   #31183
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Necessity is the mother of invention
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:27 PM   #31184
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Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:27 PM   #31185
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If you visit me on the web, at least I won't have to make you a coffee!
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:28 PM   #31186
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Hi. Are you cute?
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:28 PM   #31187
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My telephone is not your advertising medium. However, I'll gladly accept sales calls for a nominal charge of £1,000 per call. Thank you and have a nice day!
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:28 PM   #31188
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Hi. Can I domesticate you?
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:28 PM   #31189
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I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates.
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:29 PM   #31190
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Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:29 PM   #31191
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I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:29 PM   #31192
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Hi. My name is {name}. I'm running for president in 2012. And I could sure
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:29 PM   #31193
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Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:30 PM   #31194
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If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:30 PM   #31195
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use your vote. Here...write down your number and I'll call you to discuss my
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:30 PM   #31196
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A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:30 PM   #31197
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platform.
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:31 PM   #31198
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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:31 PM   #31199
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How is your fever? [What fever?] Oh... you just look hot to me.
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Old 12-10-2004, 02:31 PM   #31200
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How much did it cost? (What?) The surgery that made you so hot!
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