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Old 12-10-2004, 03:54 PM   #31451
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If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
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Old 12-10-2004, 03:55 PM   #31452
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Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us.
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Old 12-10-2004, 03:55 PM   #31453
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If Wall-Mart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing is free yet?
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Old 12-10-2004, 03:56 PM   #31454
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You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
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Old 12-10-2004, 03:56 PM   #31455
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Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
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Old 12-10-2004, 03:57 PM   #31456
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Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened.
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Old 12-10-2004, 03:57 PM   #31457
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We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colours .... but they all have to learn to live in the same box.
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Old 12-10-2004, 03:58 PM   #31458
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Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.
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Old 12-10-2004, 03:59 PM   #31459
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A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
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Old 12-10-2004, 03:59 PM   #31460
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Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.
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Old 12-10-2004, 04:00 PM   #31461
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If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
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Old 12-10-2004, 04:00 PM   #31462
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Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
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Old 12-10-2004, 04:01 PM   #31463
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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
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Old 12-10-2004, 04:01 PM   #31464
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Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
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Old 12-10-2004, 04:02 PM   #31465
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If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
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Old 12-10-2004, 04:02 PM   #31466
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My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
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Old 12-10-2004, 04:03 PM   #31467
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Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
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Old 12-10-2004, 04:03 PM   #31468
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It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
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Old 12-10-2004, 04:04 PM   #31469
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For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
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Old 12-10-2004, 04:04 PM   #31470
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If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
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Old 12-10-2004, 04:05 PM   #31471
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Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
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Old 12-10-2004, 04:05 PM   #31472
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A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
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Old 12-10-2004, 04:06 PM   #31473
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Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
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Old 12-10-2004, 04:06 PM   #31474
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Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
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Old 12-10-2004, 04:07 PM   #31475
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No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
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Old 12-10-2004, 04:07 PM   #31476
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A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
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Old 12-10-2004, 04:08 PM   #31477
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Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
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Old 12-10-2004, 04:08 PM   #31478
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Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
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Old 12-10-2004, 04:09 PM   #31479
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Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
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Old 12-10-2004, 04:10 PM   #31480
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There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
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Old 12-10-2004, 04:10 PM   #31481
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Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
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Old 12-10-2004, 04:11 PM   #31482
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By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
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Old 12-10-2004, 04:11 PM   #31483
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Thou shall not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
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Old 12-10-2004, 04:12 PM   #31484
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Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
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Old 12-10-2004, 04:12 PM   #31485
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Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.
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Old 12-10-2004, 04:13 PM   #31486
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Relationships appear closer than they are.
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Old 12-10-2004, 04:13 PM   #31487
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I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.
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Old 12-10-2004, 04:14 PM   #31488
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I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
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Old 12-10-2004, 04:14 PM   #31489
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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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Old 12-10-2004, 04:15 PM   #31490
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If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
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Old 12-11-2004, 08:49 AM   #31491
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Old 12-11-2004, 08:50 AM   #31492
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Old 12-11-2004, 08:50 AM   #31493
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Old 12-11-2004, 08:51 AM   #31494
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Old 12-11-2004, 08:51 AM   #31495
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Old 12-11-2004, 08:52 AM   #31496
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Old 12-11-2004, 08:52 AM   #31497
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Old 12-11-2004, 08:53 AM   #31498
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Old 12-11-2004, 08:53 AM   #31499
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Old 12-11-2004, 08:54 AM   #31500
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