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3900
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Where there's a will, there's a won't
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Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do
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YARGH!
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If a train stops at a train station, and a bus stops at a bus station, what happens at a workstation?
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Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
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A day without sunshine is like ..... night.
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On the other hand, you have different fingers.
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I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
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42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
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99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
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I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
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Honk if you love peace and quiet.
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Remember, half the people you know are below average.
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He who laughs last thinks slowest.
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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
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The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
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I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
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Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
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Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.
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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
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Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
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Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!
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Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
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Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
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If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
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How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.
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I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.
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A girlfriend who wears beads is always one you can count on.
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OK, so what's the speed of dark?
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bukkake
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Quote:
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How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
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When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
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Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
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Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
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If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
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Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
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:1orglaugh
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What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
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I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
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Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
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If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.
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To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world.
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Real friends are those who, when you feel you've made a fool of yourself, don't feel you've done a permanent job.
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A coincidence is when God performs a miracle, and decides to remain anonymous.
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Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.
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I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
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Lead your life so you won't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
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People gather bundles of sticks to build bridges they never cross.
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