Life is 10% of what happens to you, and 90% of how you respond to it.

Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep.

Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.

There are two things I've learned: (1) There is a God, and (2), I'm not Him.

Following the path of least resistance is what makes rivers and men crooked.

Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God's grace.

Your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of God's grace.

I was going to procrastinate today, but I think I'll leave that until tomorrow.

I used to be a schizophrenic, but we're both OK now.

He who laughs last probably didn't get the joke in the first place.

Never argue with an idiot. They'll pull you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

The probability of someone watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your actions.

Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun every year.

Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them?

:)

:glugglug

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

:2 cents:

:helpme

:321GFY

:winkwink:

:Graucho :2 cents: :321GFY :helpme :1orglaugh :( :BangBang: :feels-hot :glugglug :thumbsup :ak47:

Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us.

hurry up:P

we are never gonna make the 10.000 :(

boo hoo

If Wall-Mart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing is free yet?

You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened.

We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colours .... but they all have to learn to live in the same box.

Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.

A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.

If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

:glugglug

:2 cents:

:warning

:thumbsup

Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

:1orglaugh

:GFYBand

4k?