:arcadefre Because they deserve them. :ugone2far

:warning Why did the punk cross the road? :rasta

:Hollering Only one. To slam the car boot shut. :Graucho

:cool-as-a There were four 80 year old men playing golf. One complained the hills were to high. The second complained the bunkers were too deep. The third said the holes were too wide. The fourth one said 'Shut up! At least we're still on the right side of the grass!' :moon

:arcadefre Broken promises don't upset me. I just think 'Why did they believe me?' :question

will this ever end

:2 cents: Six stages of married life:1: Tri-weekly2: Try weekly3: Try weakly4. Try oysters5: Try anything6: Try to remember :pimp

:Graucho The graduate with a science degree asks 'Why does it work?' :disgust

that golf joke was GAY

:arcadefre The graduate with an engenieering degree asks 'How does it do that?' :BangBang:

:ak47: The graduate with an accounting degree asks 'How much does it cost?' :helpme

Nigritude Ultramarine

damn :321GFY

:glugglug The graduate with the Arts degree asks 'Do you want fries with that?' :warning

NO :thumbsup

:smokin 'Was your wife a virgin when you married?' :disgust

:ak47: What is the last thing to go through the mind of a mosquito when it hits your windscreen? :eek2

The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

:sleep It's ass. :NopeNope

:Grrrrrr A face can say many things. Especially the mouth part. :feels-hot

did i win? paypal [email protected]

Thanks :glugglug

:rainfro What's brown and sticky? :2 cents:

:glugglug A stick. :1orglaugh

That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning:thumbsup

sorry did you get my paypal address right its [email protected] :1orglaugh

:BangBang: What's the difference between a rotwieler and a poodle? :arcadefre

I like every bone in your body especially mine.

:321GFY If a rotwieler starts humping your leg you let it finish. :zzwhip

hahaha

neva won owt

Smokey, are u suing a bot, or u haven't slept???

:helpme

:boid I'd cross the hottest desert :stop

Will you be my love buffet so I can lay you out on a table and take anything I want?

Well I finally got an answering machine. Now how does this thing work? Hmmm. Press record button, I did that, and the light should be on. I wonder why it's not working right. Hmmmm, I wonder what this button does...

:hi You must have come from the shallow end of the gene pool. :Kissmy

You know what I hate about answering machine messages? They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in, leave a message." That's why I've decided to keep mine simple and short. I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me...

Two nude statues (one male and one female) had been standing in a beautiful park for 99 years.

On their 100th anniversary in the park an angel came down from heaven to talk to the statues.

He said to them, 'God has been watching you for the past 100 years and has been very pleased with the two of you. So pleased in fact that he has decided to make you human for a short time.'

The angel then went on to say that they would be human for 15 minutes and would finally be able to pleasure themselves in a manner in which they have only fantasized about for the last 100 years.

The statues were so excited they could hardly believe it. The second they became human they ran off together behind the bushes. The angel heard the rustling of the bushes and shouts of joy and laughter.

After 10 minutes the statues returned from behind the bushes sweating and laughing. The angel told the statues that they still had five more minutes.

The male statue quickly turned to the female statue and said:
`Cool, this time, you hold down the pigeon and I'll shit on its head.'

Baby I'm like milk, I'll do your body good.

wot u u win a years subscription to gallery submitter?

:BangBang:

Drawling granny voice: Way back inna winner of fifty-two, we didn' have fanshy gadjets like no ansherin' machine. You jusht had to call and call until shummbody got home. Now, shum people, dey shay dey don' like 'em, but I shay it'll shave you a lotta trouble if you jusht leave a meshage. Thanksh a lot.

:feels-hot the town flasher ran up and described himself. :eyecrazy