An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" "Ach," says the Irish man, "it's drivin' me nuts!" :Graucho

:Graucho

guess so

:Kissmy A. The more you bang it :eyecrazy

:repuke How many men do you need for a mafia funeral? :xomunch

There is a guy. His favorite bar is called 'Sally's Legs'. The bar is closed, so he waits outside for it to open. He was waiting a long time and a cop got suspicious, came over to him, and asked, "What are you doing?" The guy replies, "I'm waiting for 'Sally's Legs' to open so I can get a drink."

:warning :warning :warning

2

oh well at least its jokes and not useless shit

:cool-as-a There were four 80 year old men playing golf. One complained the hills were to high. The second complained the bunkers were too deep. The third said the holes were too wide. The fourth one said 'Shut up! At least we're still on the right side of the grass!' :xomunch

One night a man was getting very drunk in a pub. He staggered back to take a piss, whipping his prick out as he went in the door. However, he had wandered into the ladies room by mistake, surprising a woman sitting on the can, "This is for ladies!" she screamed. The drunk waved his dick at her and said "So is this!"

:Graucho :warning

:Kissmy Q. What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? :ak47:

:fart Broken promises don't upset me. I just think 'Why did they believe me?' :feels-hot

A man walks into a bar with a giraffe and they proceed to get blitzed. The giraffe drinks so much it passes out on the floor. The man gets up and heads for the door to leave when the bartender yells, "Hey! You can't leave that lyin' there!" The drunk replies, "That's not a lion! It's a giraffe." hehehe :Graucho

:eyecrazy Six stages of married life:1: Tri-weekly2: Try weekly3: Try weakly4. Try oysters5: Try anything6: Try to remember :cool-as-a

:GFYBand A. Frosted Flakes :evil-laug

yep, but this will never ends ! :1orglaugh

:rainfro A man took his wife to the doctors. After a short examination the doctor said 'Your wife's mind has completely gone!'. To which the man replied 'I'm not surprised. She's been giving a piece of it to me every day for the past 25 years!' :tongue:

A woman walks into a bar with her 5 pound Chihuahua and sits down next to this guy, whom she notices is feeling a little bit queasy. A few minutes go buy and the guy looks at her and blows his chunks. He looks down and sees the little dog struggling in a pool of vomit and says, "Whoa, I don't remember eating that!" :1orglaugh :thumbsup :warning

:GFYBand Q. What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel? :GFYBand

:helpme The graduate with a science degree asks 'Why does it work?' :boid

A man is in a bar and has one too many drinks. This beautiful lady sits down next to him. He turns to her and says "Hey how bout it. You and me, gettin it on. I've got a couple dollars and it looks like you could use a little money." She stands up and says, "What makes you think I charge by the inch." :Graucho :warning :thumbsup

:boid The graduate with an engenieering degree asks 'How does it do that?' :Oh crap

A preacher goes into a bar and says "Anybody who wants to go to heaven, stand up." Everybody stands up except for a drunk in the corner. The preacher says "My son, don't you want to go to heaven when you die?" The drunk says "When I die? Sure. I thought you were taking a load up now."

:1orglaugh :winkwink: :warning

:1orglaugh The graduate with an accounting degree asks 'How much does it cost?' :ak47:

Q. Why did Bill Clinton name his new dog Buddy?
A. He couldn't bear to say "Come Spot... Come Spot!" :Graucho

:ugone2far The graduate with the Arts degree asks 'Do you want fries with that?' :321GFY

Q. 100 Women Surveyed, "Would you have sex with Bill Clinton?"
A. 80% said not again. :1orglaugh :Graucho :warning

Q. What does Wal-Mart, Zellers and Michael Jackson have in common?
A. Boy's underwear half off. :1orglaugh

:Hollering 'I don't know. Some say yes. Some say no.' :ugone2far

:D A. An airbag. :Hollering

Q. What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her for swearing?
A. Washed her hands with soap.

:feels-hot What is the last thing to go through the mind of a mosquito when it hits your windscreen? :waaaaahh

Q. What's white and sticky and found on the bathroom wall?
A. George Michael's latest release.

:warning :warning :warning

:rainfro A. She has a tampon tucked under her ear and she can't find her pencil. :ak47:

:stoned It's ass. :BangBang:

Q. What has 18 balls and 3 pubic hairs?
A. A Michael Jackson slumber party. :Graucho

:karaoke Q. What does the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common? :helpme

Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A. From a catalogue. :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

:spawn A face can say many things. Especially the mouth part. :disgust

Q. What is the name of Helen Keller's dog?
A. Nyah, nyu, yuh, yah.

:1orglaugh :warning :winkwink:

:repuke What's brown and sticky? :rainfro