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Old 12-26-2004, 06:30 PM   #41451
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Chris Griffin: Well, I've been working out all week.
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:30 PM   #41452
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Meg Griffin: You look wicked skinny. I'm like, jealous.
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:30 PM   #41453
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Chris Griffin: Thanks, Meg. I'm jealous of your mustache.
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:30 PM   #41454
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Meg Griffin: [freaked] I don't have a mustache... do I?
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:31 PM   #41455
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[Peter has accidentally unleashed the 10 plagues]
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:31 PM   #41456
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Peter Griffin: There has to be some explanation for this.
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:31 PM   #41457
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Brian Griffin: You want an explanation?
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:32 PM   #41458
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[slaps Peter]
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:32 PM   #41459
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Brian Griffin: GOD
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:32 PM   #41460
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Brian Griffin: IS
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:33 PM   #41461
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Brian Griffin: PISSED.
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:33 PM   #41462
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[during a company sexual harassment training video]
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:33 PM   #41463
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Narrator: Remember, nothing says "good job" like a firm, open-palm slap on the behind.
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:34 PM   #41464
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Chris Griffin: God's watching me do number two? Oh man, I'm a sinner, and God's a pervert.
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:34 PM   #41465
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[the family is planning a vacation]
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:34 PM   #41466
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Peter Griffin: We could always go to purgatory like we did last year.
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:34 PM   #41467
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Lois Griffin: This isn't bad. It's not good, but it's not bad.
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:35 PM   #41468
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Brian Griffin: So so.
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:35 PM   #41469
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Peter Griffin: More or less.
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:35 PM   #41470
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Peter Griffin: I haven't cleaned since Bounty dropped me as their spokesman.
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:36 PM   #41471
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Peter Griffin: So Rosie, I just spilled this glass of warm yellow liquid on the counter and you're telling me that Bounty can pick it up in five seconds?
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:36 PM   #41472
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Spokesperson: What the hell is that?
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:36 PM   #41473
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Peter Griffin: Five seconds...
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:37 PM   #41474
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Spokesperson: Is that?
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:37 PM   #41475
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Peter Griffin: Four seconds...
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:37 PM   #41476
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Spokesperson: It smells like...
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:37 PM   #41477
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Peter Griffin: Three seconds...
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:38 PM   #41478
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Spokesperon: That's...
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:38 PM   #41479
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Peter Griffin: CLEAN MY PEE.
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:38 PM   #41480
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[at a rehab center]
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:39 PM   #41481
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Peter Griffin: YEAH. I'm also addicted to boobies.
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:39 PM   #41482
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Stewie Griffin: This isn't the first time my small stature has hindered my plans.
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:39 PM   #41483
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Auctioneer: Item 157... Global Domination. Enslave the human race. Do I have any bids?
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:40 PM   #41484
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Stewie Griffin: OOH. OOH. ME. ME.
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:40 PM   #41485
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Auctioneer: I'll take any bids. $1. Enslave the human race for $1?
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:40 PM   #41486
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Stewie Griffin: BEHIND THE FAT CHICK. OOH. OOH.
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:41 PM   #41487
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Diane Simmons: Our top story tonight, I have been cast as the lead in the Quahog Players' production of The King And I.
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:41 PM   #41488
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Tom Tucker: In other news, I wont be going to the play because I'm sure it will be lousy.
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:41 PM   #41489
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Diane Simmons: This just in: Tom, you're such a closet case.
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:42 PM   #41490
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Tom Tucker: We now go live to Diane being a bitch. Diane?
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:42 PM   #41491
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Judge: I find you guilty of arson, so you are free to go... straight to jail. HA. Now YOU got burned... No bail.
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:42 PM   #41492
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Young Peter Griffin: Why did all the dinosaurs die?
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:42 PM   #41493
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Museum Curator: Because you touch yourself at night.
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:43 PM   #41494
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[Peter looks down in shame]
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:43 PM   #41495
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[looking around at a posh rehab clinic]
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:43 PM   #41496
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Peter Griffin: This is the kind of place God would go to if He had to stop doing blow.
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:44 PM   #41497
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Lois Griffin: He's figured out how to get the twinkie.
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:44 PM   #41498
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Chris Griffin: Ha ha. I'm turning you into poo.
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:44 PM   #41499
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[at Peter's imaginary version of Cheesy Charlie's]
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Old 12-26-2004, 06:44 PM   #41500
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Kid: I have 13 tickets, is that enough?
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