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Old 01-01-2005, 10:57 AM   #41801
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Turk Malloy: [to Linus] Who died and made you Danny?
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Old 01-01-2005, 10:57 AM   #41802
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Reuben Tishkoff: If I don't sit down I'm gonna shit on your feet.
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Old 01-01-2005, 10:58 AM   #41803
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Station sergeant: Your name?
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Old 01-01-2005, 10:59 AM   #41804
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Father Brown: Brown.
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Old 01-01-2005, 10:59 AM   #41805
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Station sergeant: You sure it isn't Smith, or Jones?
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:00 AM   #41806
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:00 AM   #41807
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[the contents of Father Brown's pockets are being inventoried by the police]
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:01 AM   #41808
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Patrolman: One Bible.
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:02 AM   #41809
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Father Brown: [Correcting the patrolman] One breviary.
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:02 AM   #41810
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Station sergeant: One... book.
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:03 AM   #41811
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Patrolman: One bar of milk chocolate.
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:03 AM   #41812
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Station sergeant: One bar... of chocolate. Your glasses, please.
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:04 AM   #41813
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Father Brown: Oh. Is that really necessary? I'm as blind as a bat without them. Though I often wonder whether all bats are really blind, any more than all lords drunk or all judges sober.
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:04 AM   #41814
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Father Brown: I've never been in a cell before. Except a monastery cell, of course.
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:05 AM   #41815
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Parkinson: Father! You in trouble, Father?
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:06 AM   #41816
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Father Brown: I'm disappointed in you, Bert.
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:06 AM   #41817
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Parkinson: I'm sorry, Father, it was just...
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:07 AM   #41818
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Father Brown: Firstly, because you did wrong. Secondly, because you did wrong in the wrong way. Frankly, you are an incompetent thief.
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:07 AM   #41819
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Parkinson: Well, I wouldn't go that far.
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:08 AM   #41820
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Father Brown: I would. You are clearly incapable of earning a dishonest living. Why not experiment with an honest one?
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:08 AM   #41821
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Father Brown: Perhaps you think a crime horrible because you cannot imagine yourselves committing it. That isn't true, you know. What really horrifies you is the secret and shameful knowledge that you are capable of committing it. We all are, I no less than you. We were not made good people or bad people. We were made people.
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:09 AM   #41822
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Lady Warren: [referring to the cross of St. Augustine] It's very beautiful. Is it valuable?
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:09 AM   #41823
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Father Brown: No, not valuable. Priceless.
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:10 AM   #41824
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Father Brown: Where would a wise man hide a leaf? In a forest. Where would a wise man hide a cross? In a forest of crosses. We have a forest of crosses ready-made for us. A forest of priests; a black forest, you might say.
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:11 AM   #41825
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Father Brown: My lord, this is lunacy.
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:11 AM   #41826
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The Bishop: Father Brown, you will be good enough to leave matters in the lunatic hands of the inspector and myself. Scotland Yard will continue to inform you of our further insane decisions. Meanwhile, good morning.
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:12 AM   #41827
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French Widow: [referring to smoking] Disgusting habit!
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:12 AM   #41828
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French Cavalry Officer: But a very useful one sometimes. A friend of mine, Captain Chavasse of the Foreign Legion, leg half shot off. No anesthetic. Smoked a pipe all through the operation. Never felt a thing.
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:13 AM   #41829
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Inspector Valentine: Good lord. What was he smoking?
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:13 AM   #41830
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French Cavalry Officer: Opium.
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:14 AM   #41831
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Father Brown: A simple but effective ruse, taught me by one of the lambs in my flock.
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:14 AM   #41832
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Flambeau: A strange flock.
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:15 AM   #41833
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Father Brown: Oh, not strange, just human. Albert was a dear fellow. Where do you think he is now?
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:15 AM   #41834
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Flambeau: In prison.
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:16 AM   #41835
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Father Brown: In a monastery. Life is full of surprises, isn't it?
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:16 AM   #41836
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Flambeau: One never dreams how full.
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:17 AM   #41837
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Inspector Valentine: [after failing to commandeer a taxi with a couple kissing in the back] Don't the police in France come before a pair of lovers?
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:17 AM   #41838
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Inspector Dubois: In Paris, on a warm afternoon? I'm afraid not.
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:18 AM   #41839
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Lady Warren: What progress have you made?
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:19 AM   #41840
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Father Brown: Looking for a black cat in a coal hole during an eclipse of the sun would be a child's task compared with mine.
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:19 AM   #41841
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Lady Warren: You put me in mind of the child's poem: "As I was walking up the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. He wasn't there again today. I wish that he would go away."
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:20 AM   #41842
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Father Brown: I wish that he would come to stay.
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:20 AM   #41843
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Inspector Valentine: You'd've made things much easier for us both if you'd told us what you know of Flambeau.
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:21 AM   #41844
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Father Brown: I cannot tell you what I do not know. All I know is that he walks upon two legs and his head grows above his shoulders.
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:21 AM   #41845
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Texan Millionaire: [the Texan approaches Father Brown and Lady Warren as they attempt to spot Flambeau among the bidders] Lady Warren? I am Sam Johnson out of San Antonio, Texas. If isn't often we from Texas get a chance to shake a real, live lady by the hand now!
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:22 AM   #41846
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Lady Warren: It isn't often that we in London have the privilege of of meeting a real, live Texan.
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:22 AM   #41847
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Texan Millionaire: You sure talk like a lady. You know, I've come five thousand miles to buy this set of yours. It'll go well down on my ranch.
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:23 AM   #41848
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Lady Warren: Will it really?
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:23 AM   #41849
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Texan Millionaire: Yeah ma'am. I've got myself a real swell games room. Solid gold poker chips, solid gold checkers, and a solid gold ping pong table.
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Old 01-01-2005, 11:24 AM   #41850
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Lady Warren: With solid gold ping pong balls?
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