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Old 01-01-2005, 04:00 PM   #42351
fr33s3x
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White Goodman: Last I heard, my gym makes money. Yours doesn't. My gym's worth over $4 million. Your gym isn't worth four. I have shareholders. You haven't even got cup holders.
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Old 01-01-2005, 04:00 PM   #42352
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White Goodman: Do you smell that fitness? I do.
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Old 01-01-2005, 04:01 PM   #42353
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Patches O'Houlihan: I love the smell of queef in the morning.
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Old 01-01-2005, 04:01 PM   #42354
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Owen: I'm gonna catch up with you guys later. I'm gonna have a bathroom... go to the drink... in the bathroom.
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Old 01-01-2005, 04:02 PM   #42355
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Dwight: Whatever you do, wash your hands.
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Old 01-01-2005, 04:02 PM   #42356
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Cotton McKnight: We haven't seen Average Joe's yet. They haven't made it to the court. It could be a psychological ploy, or something worse.
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Old 01-01-2005, 04:03 PM   #42357
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Pepper Brooks: They're definitely not on the court, Cotton. Their absence is noticeable.
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Old 01-01-2005, 04:03 PM   #42358
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Cotton McKnight: Do you believe in unlikelihoods? Average Joe's shocking the dodgeball world and upsetting Globo Gym in the championship match. Unbelievable. I have been to the Great Wall of China. I have seen the Pyramids of Egypt. I've even witnessed a grown man satisfy a camel. But never in all my years as a sportscaster have I witnessed something as improbable, as impossible, as what we've witnessed here.
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Old 01-01-2005, 04:04 PM   #42359
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Pepper Brooks: Ooh, Ouchtown, population you, bro!
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Old 01-01-2005, 06:24 PM   #42360
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Old 01-01-2005, 08:24 PM   #42361
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Old 01-02-2005, 07:44 AM   #42362
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Kid on Bus: What are you gonna do today, Napoleon?
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Old 01-02-2005, 07:44 AM   #42363
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Napoleon Dynamite: Whatever I feel like I wanna do, gosh!
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Old 01-02-2005, 07:44 AM   #42364
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Old 01-02-2005, 07:45 AM   #42365
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Don: [playing kickball] Hey, Napoleon. Did you wet the bed last night?
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Old 01-02-2005, 07:46 AM   #42366
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Napoleon Dynamite: Hey, Don, did you take a dump in your bed last night?
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Old 01-02-2005, 07:47 AM   #42367
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Napoleon Dynamite: Why don't you go tell your mom to shut up?
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Old 01-02-2005, 07:48 AM   #42368
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Don: What did you say?
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Old 01-02-2005, 07:49 AM   #42369
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Don: Did you say something about my mom?
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Old 01-02-2005, 07:50 AM   #42370
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Don: Do you wanna die, Napoleon?
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Old 01-02-2005, 07:51 AM   #42371
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Don: Step up, Napoleon.
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Old 01-02-2005, 07:51 AM   #42372
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Napoleon Dynamite: [slaps him and runs]
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Old 01-02-2005, 07:52 AM   #42373
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Napoleon Dynamite: Shut up, I am not.
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Old 01-02-2005, 07:53 AM   #42374
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Jock No. 1: Yeah? Why are you in the Happy Hands Club then?
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Old 01-02-2005, 07:53 AM   #42375
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Napoleon Dynamite: Cause I didn't have a freakin' choice. All the other sweet clubs were filled up. GOSH!
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Old 01-02-2005, 07:54 AM   #42376
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Pedro: I got sick.
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Old 01-02-2005, 07:55 AM   #42377
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Pedro: Two days ago, I went to my cousin's birthday party and they had all this food. So I started to eat this taco with lots of meat. It was like a carne asada taco. And all of a sudden, I started to feel real ill inside. So the next day, I just like laid in the bathtub for a couple of hours. And then I had to go to the hospital because my aunt Concha was having a baby. We had to wait a really long time in the lobby so I bought a little bag of corn tortillas from the vending machine. And right when I started eating them, I felt really good inside. The weird feeling I was having just like lifted out of me. It, like, evaporated into nothing.
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Old 01-02-2005, 07:56 AM   #42378
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[takes a bite of tortilla in flashback, looks up to heavens]
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Old 01-02-2005, 07:57 AM   #42379
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Pedro: So I dunno. I think they was like... holy chips or something.
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Old 01-02-2005, 07:57 AM   #42380
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Cashier: Get out of here. I'm not selling lottery to a minor.
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Old 01-02-2005, 07:58 AM   #42381
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Napoleon Dynamite: I'm just gonna go get my ID.
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Old 01-02-2005, 07:59 AM   #42382
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[bumps into cooler]
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Old 01-02-2005, 07:59 AM   #42383
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Napoleon Dynamite: [outside gas station, to Pedro] Gosh! They wouldn't sell me one. I don't look old enough. Dang!
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Old 01-02-2005, 08:00 AM   #42384
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Pedro: Do you think I look old enough?
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Old 01-02-2005, 08:01 AM   #42385
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Cashier: [looks at Pedro's moustache, then sells ticket]
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Old 01-02-2005, 08:01 AM   #42386
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Napoleon Dynamite: [outside, to Pedro] Did you get one?
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Old 01-02-2005, 08:02 AM   #42387
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[scratches ticket]
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Old 01-02-2005, 08:02 AM   #42388
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Napoleon Dynamite: Yes! Three spuds! You picked a good one! That's ten dollars! Yes!
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Old 01-02-2005, 08:03 AM   #42389
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Napoleon Dynamite: You wanna play me?
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Old 01-02-2005, 08:04 AM   #42390
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[last lines]
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Old 01-02-2005, 08:05 AM   #42391
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Napoleon Dynamite: I spent like three hours shading the upper lip.
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Old 01-02-2005, 08:06 AM   #42392
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Trisha: Yeah... That's great.
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Old 01-02-2005, 08:07 AM   #42393
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Uncle Rico: She didn't tell me anything.
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Old 01-02-2005, 08:07 AM   #42394
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Napoleon Dynamite: Too bad, she said she doesn't want you here when she gets back because you've been ruining everybody's lives and eating all our steak.
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Old 01-02-2005, 08:08 AM   #42395
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Napoleon Dynamite: Get off my property!
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Old 01-02-2005, 08:09 AM   #42396
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Uncle Rico: It's a free country. I can do whatever I want.
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Old 01-02-2005, 08:10 AM   #42397
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Uncle Rico: Well then do it! Go on!
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Old 01-02-2005, 08:10 AM   #42398
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Napoleon Dynamite: Maybe I will, GOSH!
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Old 01-02-2005, 08:11 AM   #42399
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Kip: Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.
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Old 01-02-2005, 08:12 AM   #42400
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Napoleon Dynamite: Since when, Kip? You have the worst reflexes of all time.
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