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Old 01-01-2005, 02:07 PM   #42151
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Chris: I don't feel like it tonight.
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:07 PM   #42152
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Grandmother: Your mother has come home after seventeen years to repent for her sins and for her crime. Not only against your grandfather and me, but against God! Your mother's marriage was unholy! A sacrilege! An abomination in the eyes of the Lord! She did not fall from Grace! She leapt! Into the arms of a man whose veins pulsed with the same blood as hers! Not a stranger, but her own uncle! And you, the children, are the devil's spawn! Evil from the moment of conception!
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:08 PM   #42153
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Roxie: Issues like this can't be resolved in a month...or without the budget for a full-length feature film.
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:08 PM   #42154
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Roxie: Shelly's inner child is mildly reminiscent of Rosemary's Baby.
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:09 PM   #42155
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Roxie: And Jimmy Two-Times, who got that name because he said everything twice.
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:09 PM   #42156
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Jimmy Two-Times: Hey, ladies! Buy ya a drink? Buy ya a drink?
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:10 PM   #42157
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Earl Pilcher, Sr.: I've never seen a damn Yankee yet that could operate more than a wheelbarrow.
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:10 PM   #42158
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Aunt T: Don't know why anybody'd eat unsalted butter. Might as well eat Vaseline. Got about as much flavor.
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:11 PM   #42159
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Aunt T: Nobody ever knows what it's like for somebody else. That's always the problem.
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:11 PM   #42160
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Earl Pilcher, Jr.: Being happy ain't nothin' more than havin' something to look forward to.
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:12 PM   #42161
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Earl Pilcher, Jr.: I used to play a little ball. I was small, but I made up for it by being slow.
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:13 PM   #42162
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Raymond "Ray" Lee Murdock: I guess everyone is entitled to make a complete and utter fool of himself every now and then.
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:13 PM   #42163
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Max: Who's ever after you are real pros.
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:14 PM   #42164
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Kate: I guess I should be proud, it would be embarrassing to be killed by an amateur.
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:14 PM   #42165
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Adam: [nervous] Are you looking for hardware... or is it software you're interested in?
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:14 PM   #42166
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Kate: [sexy] Hardware. I was hoping to demo your unit.
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:15 PM   #42167
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Adam: I'd have to... boot up first.
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:16 PM   #42168
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Kate: No one tried to kill me! This is Miami. I'm local. We only shoot the tourists.
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:16 PM   #42169
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Lieutenant Meyerson: Max, you obviously got me confused with someone who gives a rat's ass.
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:17 PM   #42170
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Kate McQuean: You know that they call a Florida cop in a three-piece suit?
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:17 PM   #42171
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Max Kilpatric: No. What?
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:18 PM   #42172
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Kate McQuean: The defendant!
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:18 PM   #42173
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Max Kilpatric: Is it a felony to shoot a computer?
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:19 PM   #42174
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Louis: Only in California.
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:19 PM   #42175
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[Rosa is bringing in a Caffe Romano pizza]
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:20 PM   #42176
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Cop at door: Hey, babe! If you were Dominos, I'd get a discount.
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:20 PM   #42177
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Rosa: If I were Dominos, you'd still be alive.
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:21 PM   #42178
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[Shoots him]
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:21 PM   #42179
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[Max is on the phone with a convenience store clerk and Ilya Kazak]
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:22 PM   #42180
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Max Kirkpatrick: Why don't you drop that bullshit American accent.
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:23 PM   #42181
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Ilya Kazak: [sounding American] I don't know what you mean.
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:23 PM   #42182
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Max Kirkpatrick: Dosvedanya, Asshole!
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:24 PM   #42183
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Convenience Store Clerk: Dosve... WHAT!
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:24 PM   #42184
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Ilya Kazak: [normal voice] Dosvedanya, Asshole?
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:25 PM   #42185
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Convenience Store Clerk: Yo, fuck YOU!
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:25 PM   #42186
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[hangs up]
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:26 PM   #42187
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Ilya Kazak: Clever BASTARD!
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:26 PM   #42188
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[Max has called his cousin Jodi and got the answering machine]
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:27 PM   #42189
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Ilya Kazak: [on the machine] Hello. You have reached the number of Detective Kirkpatrick's nosey relative. Cousin Jodi cannot answer the phone right now, but if you wish to leave a message, please contact your nearest psychic.
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:27 PM   #42190
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[scream from Jodi, gunshot]
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:28 PM   #42191
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Ilya Kazak: Dosvedanya to you, ASSHOLE!
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:28 PM   #42192
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Hacker: I can't believe it. They used their cellphone. It's like painting a huge bullseye on your ass!
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:29 PM   #42193
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[Rosa and Max are fighting on the beach. Rosa just kicked him in the groin]
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:29 PM   #42194
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Rosa: Ahh. Did I hurt you? Poor baby. Let Mommy kick it for you and make it BETTER!
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:30 PM   #42195
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[kicks him again]
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:30 PM   #42196
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[after dumping a ton of mail on Max's desk]
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:31 PM   #42197
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Rita: THIS is your mail because it has your name on it! My mail is sometimes addressed to OCCUPANT. Because, Max, I AM the fucking occupant of my place! Whereas YOU are no longer an occupant. Is this sinking in? GET YOUR SHIT OUT OF MY APARTMENT!
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:31 PM   #42198
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Max Kirkpatrick: Please, Rita. Just cut me a little slack on space, OK.
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:32 PM   #42199
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Rita: No, no, no! You have run out of slacks, Max! No more slacks for you!
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Old 01-01-2005, 02:33 PM   #42200
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Ilya Kazak: [after Juantorena failed to kill Kate with the home explosion] I'm getting most annoyed by your petty incompetence.
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