GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum

GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum (https://gfy.com/index.php)
-   Fucking Around & Business Discussion (https://gfy.com/forumdisplay.php?f=26)
-   -   The Last Person to ever post is this Thread wins $250 (paypal) (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=261686)

Smokey The ßear 05-22-2004 08:44 AM

:rainfro The graduate with an accounting degree asks 'How much does it cost?' :321GFY

Nanda 05-22-2004 08:45 AM

Wyoming Crazy Law
You may not take a picture of a rabbit during the month of June.


It is illegal to wear a hat that obstructs people's view in a public theater or place of amusement.

It is illegal for women to stand within five feet of a bar while drinking.


Cheyenne
Citizens may not take showers on Wednesdays.

Smokey The ßear 05-22-2004 08:45 AM

:2 cents: The graduate with the Arts degree asks 'Do you want fries with that?' :girl

Nanda 05-22-2004 08:45 AM

Alaska Crazy Law
Alaska's More Important Laws

In Fairbanks it is considered an offense to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose.

While it is legal to shoot bears, waking a sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited.

It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane.

It is the state policy that emergencies are held to a minimum and are rarely found to exist.-Sec. 44.62.270. State policy.

Moose may not be viewed from an airplane.

Nanda 05-22-2004 08:46 AM

Arizona Crazy Law
You may not have more than two dildos in a house.


Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony. This goes back in the days of the Wild West.

There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus.


When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person posseses.


Hunting camels is prohibited.


Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.


It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water.


Glendale
Cars may not be driven in reverse.


Globe
Cards may not be played in the street with a Native American.


Hayden
If you bother the cottontails or bullfrogs, you will be fined.


Maricopa County
No more than six girls may live in any house.


Mesa
It is illegal to smoke cigarettes within 15 feet of a public place unless you have a Class 12 liqueur license.


Mohave County
A decree declares that anyone caught stealing soap must wash himself with it until it is all used up.


Nogales
An ordinance prohibits the wearing of suspenders.


Prescott
No one is permitted to ride their horse up the stairs of the county court house.


Tucson
Women may not wear pants.


Tombstone
It is illegal for men and women over the age of 18 to have less than one missing tooth visible when smiling.

Smokey The ßear 05-22-2004 08:46 AM

:repuke 'Was your wife a virgin when you married?' :Oh crap

stembolt 05-22-2004 08:46 AM

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"
The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."
The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"
The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"

Smokey The ßear 05-22-2004 08:47 AM

:2 cents: 'I don't know. Some say yes. Some say no.' :Grrrrrr

Nanda 05-22-2004 08:47 AM

Arkansas Crazy Law
A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.


A law provides that school teachers who bob their hair will not get a raise.

Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs.


The Arkansas River can rise no higher than to the Main Street bridge in Little Rock.


Arkansas must be pronounced "Arkansaw"


A voter is only allowed five minutes to mark his ballot.


Fayetteville
Dogs may not bark after 6 PM.


It is illegal to kill "any living creature".


It is unlawful to walk one's cow down Main Street after 1:00 PM on Sunday.


No person shall sound the horn on a vechicle at any place where cold drinks or sandwiches are served after 9:00 P.M. -Little Rock City Code Sec. 18-54


Flirtation between men and women on the streets of Little Rock may result in a 30-day jail term.

Nanda 05-22-2004 08:48 AM

California Crazy Law
Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses.


Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.

Many animals are illegal to own as pets, including snails, sloths, and elephants.


Bathhouses are against the law.


In an animal shelter, lizards and snakes are treated under the same guidelines as cats and dogs.


No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour.


Women may not drive in a house coat.


It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.


Arcadia
Peacocks have the right of way to cross any street, including driveways.


Alhambra
You cannot leave your car on the street overnight without the proper permit.


Baldwin Park
Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.


Belvedere
City Council order reads: "No dog shall be in a public place without its master on a leash."


Blythe
You are not permitted to wear cowboy boots unless you already own at least two cows.


Burlingame
It is illegal to spit, except on baseball diamonds.


Carmel
Ice cream may not be eaten while standing on the sidewalk. (Repealed when Clint Eastwood was mayor)


Women may not wear high heels while in the city limits.


Chico
Detonating a nuclear device within the city limits results in a $500 fine.


Downey
It is illegal to wash your car in the street. (Passed 1995).


Hollywood
It is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time.


Lafayette
You are forbidden to spit on the ground within 5 feet of another person.


Lodi
It is illegal to own or sell "Silly String".


Lompoc
It is illegal to posses, own or raise roosters. This is considered disturbing the peace.


Long Beach
It is illegal to curse on a mini-golf course.


Cars are the only item allowed in a garage.


Los Angeles
Toads may not be licked.


You may not hunt moths under a street light.


It is a crime for dogs to mate within 500 yards of a church. Breaking this law is punishable by a fine of $500 and/or six months in prison.


You cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time.


Zoot suits are prohibited.


It is illegal to cry on the witness stand.


It is illegal for a man to beat his wife with a strap wider than 2 inches without her consent.


Ontario
Roosters may not crow in the city limits.


Pacific Grove
Molesting butterflies can result in a $500 fine.


Palm Springs
It is illegal to walk a camel down Palm Canyon Drive between the hours of four and six PM.


Pasadena
It is illegal for a secretary to be alone in a room with her boss.


Prunedale
Two bathtubs may not be installed in the same house.


Redlands
Motor vehicles may not drive on city streets unless a man with a lantern is wallking ahead of it.


Riverside
One may not carry a lunch down the street between 11 and 1 o'clock.


San Diego
The owners of houses with Christmas lights on them past February second may be fined up to $250.


It is illegal to shoot jackrabbits from the back of a streetcar.


San Francisco
Persons classified as "ugly" may not walk down any street.


Prohibits elephants from strolling down Market Street unless they are on a leash.


It is illegal to pile horse manure more than six feet high on a street corner.


It is illegal to wipe one's car with used underwear.


San Jose
It is illegal to have more than two cats or dogs. -Ord. 7.08.595


Santa Monica
You may not play percussion instruments on the beach.


Temecula
Ducks have the right of way to cross Rancho California St. at all times.

stembolt 05-22-2004 08:48 AM

A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'l take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"
The agent replies, "Just a minute..."
"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.

Smokey The ßear 05-22-2004 08:48 AM

:hi A face can say many things. Especially the mouth part. :ugone2far

ClamSmacker 05-22-2004 08:48 AM

I dont like to say NO!

Nanda 05-22-2004 08:48 AM

Colorado Crazy Law
Tags may be ripped off of pillows and mattresses.


It is illegal to ride a horse while under the influence.

No liquor may be sold on Sundays or election days. (Repealed)


It is illegal for liquor stores to sell food or grocery stores to sell any alcohol except beer that is at most 3.2% alcohol.


Car dealers may not show cars on a Sunday.


Colorado Springs
It is permissable to wear a holstered six-gun within city limits, except on Sunday, Election Day, or holidays.
Crippe Creek
It is illegal to bring your horse or pack mule above the ground floor of any building.
Denver
You may not drive a black car on Sundays.


It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor.


It is illegal to mistreat rats in Denver, Colorado.


The dog catcher must notify dogs of impounding by posting, for three consecutive days, a notice on a tree in the city park and along a public road running through said park.


Durango
It is illegal to go in public dressed in clothes "unbecoming" on one's sex.
Logan County
It is illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep.
Pueblo
It is illegal to let a dandelion grow within the city limits.
Sterling
Cats may not run loose without having been fit with a taillight.

Smokey The ßear 05-22-2004 08:49 AM

:eyecrazy What's brown and sticky? :smokin

Nanda 05-22-2004 08:49 AM

Connecticut Crazy Law
You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour.

In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle, it must bounce.

It is illegal to dispose of used razor blades.

You cannot buy any alcohol after 8pm or on Sundays.

The marriage of imbeciles and feeble-minded persons is prohibited. (Repealed)

It is illegal to discharge a firearm from a public highway.

No one may use a white cane, unless they are blind.


Devon
It is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset.
Guilford
Only white Christmas lights are allowed for display.
Hartford
You aren't allowed to cross a street while walking on your hands. You may not educate dogs. It is illegal for a man to kiss his wife on Sunday.
New Britain
It is illegal for fire trucks to exceed 25mph, even when going to a fire.
Southington
Silly string is banned.
Waterbury
It is illegal for any beautician to hum, whistle, or sing while working on a customer.

Smokey The ßear 05-22-2004 08:49 AM

:girl A stick. :eek2

Nanda 05-22-2004 08:50 AM

Delaware Crazy Law
It is illegal to fly over any body of water, unless one is carrying sufficient supplies of food and drink.
Lewes
It is illegal to wear pants that are "firm fitting" around the waist.


Getting married on a dare is grounds for an annulment.

Nanda 05-22-2004 08:50 AM

Florida Crazy Law
Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.


It is considered an offense to shower naked.

You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers.


It is illegal to block any traveled wagon road.


Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.


If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.


It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.


You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.M. on Thursdays.


Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.


It is illegal to skateboard without a license.


A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.


Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.


Big Pine Key
It is illegal to molest a Key deer. If caught one will be fined or will have to go to jail.


Cape Coral
It is against the city ordinance to hang your clothes outside on a clothesline.


It it illegal to park a pick-up truck in your driveway or in front of your house on the street. This law is limited to only those who do not own the house. (Repealed 2000)


Daytona Beach
Sec. 10-56. While intoxicated, under influence of narcotics, prohibited. It shall be unlawful for any person to swim or bathe in that portion of the Atlantic Ocean within the corporate limits of the city when under the influence of intoxicating liquor or narcotic drugs to the extent that his or her normal faculties are impaired. (Code 1955, § 28-64)


Sec. 18-2. Weeds, trash, etc., as a public nuisance; removal by property owner or by city at owner's expense; notice and hearing; lien for expenses. (a) The existence of weeds, trash, undergrowth, brush, filth, garbage or other refuse on any lot, tract or parcel of land within the city which has caused the property to become, or which may reasonably cause the property to become infested, or inhabited by rodents, vermin or wild animals, or may furnish a breeding place for mosquitoes or threatens the public health, safety or welfare, or may reasonably cause disease or adversely affects and impairs the economic welfare of the adjacent property, is declared to constitute a public nuisance and is hereby prohibited.


Sec. 22-44. Storage, depositing prohibited. It shall be unlawful for any person, either as owner, occupant, lessee, agent, tenant, or otherwise, to store or deposit, or cause or permit to be stored or deposited, any abandoned, junked or discarded motor vehicle or motor vehicles upon any public or private property within the city. (Code 1955, § 20-11)


The molestation of trash cans is banned.


Hialeah
Ambling and strolling is a misdemeanor.


Sec. 3-1. Bird sanctuary declared. (a) It is hereby declared that all territory embraced within the corporate limits of the municipality shall be a bird sanctuary. (b) It shall be unlawful for any person within the municipality to shoot, trap or in any manner kill, wound or maim any bird of any kind, or at any time to throw at any birds of any kind any missile with slingshots or any other weapon, or to disturb their eggs or their young or their nests. (Ord. No. 8-59, §§ 1, 2, 8-10-59)


Jupiter Inlet Colony Inlet


Key West
Chickens are considered a 'protected species'.


Miami
Sec. 8-3. Bell or other warning device. No person shall operate a bicycle unless it is equipped with a bell or device capable of giving a signal audible for a distance of at least 100 feet, but no bicycle shall be equipped with, nor shall any person use upon a bicycle, any siren or whistle. (Code 1967, § 8-3; Code 1980, § 8-3)


It is illegal for men to be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.


Pensacola
A women can be fined (only after death), for being electrocuted in a bath-tub because of using self-beautification utensils.


It is illegal to roll a barrel on any street, fines go up according to the contents of the barrel.


Citizens may not be caught downtown without at least 10 dollars on their person.


Pinecrest
In order to operate a burglar alarm, a permit must be obtained. Sec. 12-23. Registration required; application; transferability; false statements. (a)All persons must complete and submit to the village an emergency contact registration form for their alarm if they operate or cause to be operated an alarm system in the village. A separate registration is required for each alarm system. Upon receipt of a completed registration form, the police department shall issue a numbered alarm sticker to the applicant to facilitate retrieval of registration information. (Ord. No. 97-17, § 1, 10-14-97)


Sanford
Stage nudity is banned, with the exception of "bona fide" theatrical performances. Violating this ordinance results in a $100 fine.


Sarasota
You may not catch crabs.


If you hit a pedestrian you are fined $78.00.


Tampa Bay
It is illegal to eat cottage cheese on Sunday after 6:00 P.M.

Smokey The ßear 05-22-2004 08:50 AM

:glugglug If a rotwieler starts humping your leg you let it finish. :eek7

ClamSmacker 05-22-2004 08:51 AM

Are you stuck for words?

Smokey The ßear 05-22-2004 08:51 AM

:feels-hot I'd cross the hottest desert :karaoke

Nanda 05-22-2004 08:51 AM

Georgia Crazy Law
Members of the state assembly cannot be ticketed for speeding while the state assembly is in session.


Donkeys may not be kept in bathtubs.

Signs are required to be written in English.


You have the right to commit simple battery if provoked by "fighting" words.


No one may carry an ice cream cone in their back pocket if it is Sunday.


It is illegal to use profanity in front of a dead body which lies in a funeral home or in a coroners office.


Acworth
All citizens must own a rake.


Atlanta
Against the law to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp.


One man may not be on another man's back.


Columbus
Can't cut off a chicken's head on Sunday.
It is illegal to carry a chicken by it's feet down Broadway on Sunday.


Gainesville
Chicken must be eaten with the hands.


Jonesboro
It is illegal to say "Oh, Boy"


Kennesaw
Every head of household must possess a firearm of some kind.


Marietta
Though it is illegal to spit from a car or bus, citizens may spit from a truck.


St. Mary's
No spitting on the sidewalk is permitted after dark.


Quitman
Cars are not to drive on sidewalks.


It is illegal for a chicken to cross the road.

Smokey The ßear 05-22-2004 08:52 AM

:ak47: You must have come from the shallow end of the gene pool. :hi

Nanda 05-22-2004 08:52 AM

Hawaii Crazy Law
Coins are not allowed to be placed in one's ears.


All residents may be fined as a result of not owning a boat.

Honolulu
Within the limits of any public park, it is unlawful to annoy any bird. (SEC. 10-1.2)

Nanda 05-22-2004 08:52 AM

Idaho Crazy Law
Riding a merry-go-round on Sundays is considered a crime.


Illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds.

You may not fish on a camel's back.


Boise
Residents may not fish from a giraffe's back.


Pocatello
A person may not be seen in public without a smile on their face.


A law passed in 1912 provided that "The carrying of concealed weapons is forbidden, unless some are exhibited to public view."

stembolt 05-22-2004 08:52 AM

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night, face all covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the ceiling of the cave to get some sleep.
Pretty soon all the other bats could smell the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to piss off and let him get some sleep, but they persisted until he finally gave in.
"OK, follow me", he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a huge forest. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him, tongues hanging out for blood.
Do you see that large oak tree over there?" he asked. Yes, yes, YES!!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy. Good" said the first bat, "because I fucken didn't"

bvds 05-22-2004 08:52 AM

Yo mama's so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step.

Smokey The ßear 05-22-2004 08:53 AM

:thumbsup It was so cold :xomunch

Nanda 05-22-2004 08:53 AM

Illinois Crazy Law
The English language is not to be spoken.


You may be arrested for vagrancy if you do not have at least one dollar bill on your person.

You must contact the police before entering the city in an automobile.


You may be convicted of a Class 4 felony offense, punishable by up to three years in state prison, for the crime of "eavesdropping" on your own conversation. -720 ILCS 5/14-2.


Chicago
It is illegal to give a dog whiskey.


In the Pullman area, it is illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while sitting on the curb.


Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire.


Kites may not be flown within the city limits.


It is forbidden to fish while sitting on a giraffe's neck.


Spitting is forbidden


It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as long as you are under seventeen years of age and have legal permits.


Champaign
One may not pee in his neighbor's mouth.


Cicero
Humming on public streets is prohibited on Sundays.


Crete
Cars may not be driven through the town.


Des Plaines
Wheelbarrows with For-Sale signs may not be chained to trees.


Eureka
A man with a moustache may not kiss a woman.


Evanston
It is illegal to go trick-or-treating on Halloween.


Bowling is forbidden.


It is unlawful to change clothes in an automobile with the curtains drawn, except in case of fire.


Fairfield
It is unlawful for "negroes" to be within county boundries from sundown to sunrise.


Freeport
It is illegal to expectorate from any second-story window.


Galesburg
There is a $1,000 dollar fine for beating rats with baseball bats.


Homer
It is against the law to use a slingshot unless your are a law enforcement officer.


Joliet
Town fathers, reflecting the pet peeve of hearing their town's name mispronounced 'Jolly-ETTE' when all local folk know it's pronounced 'Joe-lee-ETTE', made pronouncing it Jolly-ette a misdemeanor, punishable by a $5 fine.


Kenilworth
A rooster must step back three hundred feet from any residence if he wishes to crow. Hens that wish to cackle must step two hundred feet back from any residence.


Kirkland
Bees are not allowed to fly over the village or through any of Kriland's streets.


Moline
Ice skating at the Riverside pond during the months of June and August is prohibited.


There is a ban on unnecessary repetitive driving on 23rd Avenue.


Morton Grove
You may not own a handgun


Normal
It is against the law to make faces at dogs.


Orland Prak
No pool tables are allowed in a public establishment, because it supports gambling.


Ottawa
Spitting on the sidewalk is a criminal offense.


Park Ridge
Trucks may only park inside closed garages.


Peoria
Basketball hoops may not be instaled on a driveway.


Zion
It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, or any other domesticated animals.

Smokey The ßear 05-22-2004 08:53 AM

:Graucho What do you get if you cross an Irish man with a Gernan? :moon

Nanda 05-22-2004 08:54 AM

Indiana Crazy Law

One man may not back into a parking spot becasue it prevents police officers from seeing the license plate.


Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March.


All males 18 to 50 years old must work six days a year on public roads.


Mustaches are illegal if the bearer has a tendency to habitually kiss other humans.


Hotel sheets must be exactly 99 inches long and 81 inches wide.


State government officials who engage in private duels can be dismissed from their post.


Drinking from your own bottle in a bar can lead to your arrest.


A man over the age of 18 may be arrested for statutory rape if the passenger in his car is not wearing her socks and shoes, and is under the age of 17.


It is illegal to sell cars on Sunday.


Drinks on the house are illegal.


It is illegal for a liquor store to sell cold soft drinks.


A person who dyes, stains, or otherwise alters the natural coloring of a bird or rabbit commits a Class B misdemeanor. (Ind. Code 15-2.1-21-13(b)


Smoking in the state legislature building is banned, except when the legislature is in session.


Liquor stores may not sell milk.


Check forgery can be punished with public flogging up to 100 stripes.


Grocery stores may not sell any type of cold liquor.


You can get out of paying for a dependent's medical care by praying for him/her.


Pedestrians crossing the highway at night are prohibited from wearing tail lights.


No one may catch a fish with his bare hands.


Men are prohibited from standing in a bar.


You are not allowed to carry a cocktail from the bar to a table. The waiter or waitress has to do it.


"Spiteful Gossip" and "talking behind a person's back" are illegal.


You are required to pour your drink into a glass.


It is against the law to pass a horse on the street.


If any person has a puppet show, wire dancing or tumbling act in the state of Indiana and receives money for it, they will be fined $3 under the Act to Prevent Immoral Practices.


Anyone 14 or older who profanely curses, damns or swears by the name of God, Jesus Christ or the Holy Ghost, shall be fined one to three dollars for each offense, with a maximum fine of ten dollars per day.


A three dollar fine per pack will be imposed on anyone playing cards in Indiana under the Act for the Prevention of Gaming.


The value of Pi is 4, and not 3.1415. (Repealed)


Auburn
It is illegal to bike, roller-skate, skateboard, or inline skate in a commercially zoned area. For these offesnses, there is a fine of no more than $5 or the impounding of one's bicycle for a period not to exceed 30 days.


Beech Grove
It is forbidden to eat watermelon in the park.


Elkhart
It is illegal for barbers to threaten to cut off kid's ears.


Evansville
While driving on Main Street you may not have your lights on.


Fort Wayne
You may not sell or play on a radio broadcast, the record "It`s In the Book".


Gary
Within four hours of eating garlic, a person may not enter a movie house, theater, or ride a public streetcar.


South Bend
It is illegal to make a monkey smoke a cigarette.


Terre Haute
No one may spit on the sidewalk.

Smokey The ßear 05-22-2004 08:54 AM

:thefinger A man who's too drunk to follow orders. :feels-hot

Nanda 05-22-2004 08:55 AM

Iowa Crazy Law

It is a violation of the law to sell or distribute drugs or narcotics without having first obtained the appropriate Iowa drug tax stamp.


A man with a moustache may never kiss a woman in public.

Looking for more dumb laws? Check out DumbLaws.com!
Kisses may last for no more than five minutes.


One-armed piano players must perform for free.


Dubuque
Any hotel in the city limits must have a water bucket and a hitching post in front of the building.


Indianola
The "Ice Cream Man" and his truck are banned.


Fort Madison
The fire department is required to practice fire fighting for fifteen minutes before attending a fire.


Marshalltown
Horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants


Ottumwa
Within the city limits, a man may not wink at any woman he does not know.

Smokey The ßear 05-22-2004 08:55 AM

:ticking For sale : Twin beds :pimp

stembolt 05-22-2004 08:55 AM

A guy was standing in front of the gorilla cage at the zoo one day, when a gust of wind swept some dust into his eye. As he rubbed his eyelid, the gorilla went crazy, bent open the bars, and beat the guy senseless. When the guy came to his senses, he reported the incident to the zookeeper. Nodding, the zookeeper explained that pulling down your eyelid means "screw you" in gorilla language. The explanation didn't make the victim feel any better - and he vowed revenge.
The next day, he purchased two large knives, two party hats, two party horns, and a large sausage. Putting the sausage in his pants, he hurried to the zoo and went right up to the gorilla's cage where he opened up his bag of goodies. Knowing that gorillas were natural mimics, he put on a party hat. The gorilla looked at him, reached through the bars, grabbed a hat from the bag, and put it on.
Next, the guy picked up his horn and blew on it. The gorilla reached out, picked up his horn, and did the same. Then the man picked up his knife, whipped the sausage out of his pants, and sliced it in half. The gorilla looked at the knife, looked at his own crotch, looked at the man, and pulled down his eyelid.

bvds 05-22-2004 08:55 AM

Yo mama's so big, her belly button's got an echo.

Nanda 05-22-2004 08:55 AM

Kansas Crazy Law
If two trains meet on the same track, neither shall proceed until the other has passed.


The state game rule prohibits the use of mules to hunt ducks.

Rabbits may not be shot from motorboats.


No one may catch fish with his bare hands.


Pedestrians crossing the highways at night must wear tail lights.


Dodge City
It is illegal to spit on a sidewalk.


All places of business must provide a horse water troft


Lawrence
No one may wear a bee in their hat.


All cars entering the city limits must first sound their horn to warn the horses of their arrival.


Russell
Musical car horns are banned


Salina
It is against the law to leave your car running unattended.


Topeka
The installation of bathtubs is prohibited.


Wichita
Any person caught using or carrying bean snappers or the like shall upon conviction, be fined. -City ordinance 349 of Wichita, Kansas.


Before proceeding through the interesection of Douglas and Broadway, a motorist is required to get out of their vehice and fire three shot gun rounds into the air.

Smokey The ßear 05-22-2004 08:56 AM

:Graucho one hardly used. :arcadefre

bvds 05-22-2004 08:56 AM

Yo mama's so big, she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.

Nanda 05-22-2004 08:56 AM

Kentucky Crazy Law

No person shall sell, exchange, offer to sell or exchange, display or possess living baby chicks, ducklings, or other fowl or rabbits which have been dyed or colored; nor dye or color any baby chicks, ducklings or other fowl or rabbits; nor sell, exchange, offer to sell or exchange or to give away baby chicks, ducklings or other fowl or rabbits, under two months of age in any quantity less than six, except that any rabbit weighing three pounds or more may be sold at an age of six weeks. Any person who violates this section shall be fined not less than $100 nor more than $500. -KRS 436.600 (Passed 1966 Ky. Acts ch. 215, sec. 5.)

It's illegal to fish in the Ohio River in Kentucky without an Indiana Fishing License.


Any person who displays, handles or uses any kind of reptile in connection withany religious service or gathering shall be fined not less than fifty dollars ($50) nor more than one hundred dollars ($100). -KRS 437.060 (Passed 1942, from Ky. Stat. sec. 1267a-1.).


All bees entering Kentucky shall be accompanied by certificates of health, stating that the apiary from which the bees came was free from contagious or infectious disease. -KRS 252.130 (Passed in 1922; Repealed in 1948)


No person owning or controlling a billiard or pool table shall permit, for compensation or reward, any minor under eighteen (18) years of age to play any game on the table, unless such minor shall have first displayed an identification card containing his name, age, photograph, and the signature of his parents or guardian. The minor shall keep such identification card on his person, and it shall be subject to inspection at any time by any peace officer. The person owning or controlling such billiard or pool table shall keep and maintain a registration book in which each minor shall sign. The person owning or controlling such billiard or pool table shall supply a blank identification card to each parent or guardian who makes request for same. Any person who violates this section shall be fined not less than ten ($10) nor more than one hundred dollars ($100) for each offense. -KRS 436.320 (Passed 1893; Amended in 1954, Ky. Acts ch. 232, sec. 1)


It is illegal to fish with a bow and arrow in Kentucky.


Any person who appears on any highway, or upon the street of any city that has no police protection, when clothed only in ordinary bathing garb, shall be fined no less than five dollars nor more than twenty-five dollars." - KRS 436.140 (Passed in 1922; Repealed in 1974)


Lexington
By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground."


It is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket.


Owensboro
A woman may not buy a hat without her husband's permission

Smokey The ßear 05-22-2004 08:56 AM

:Oh crap How do you tell an old man? :Note

Smokey The ßear 05-22-2004 08:57 AM

:ugone2far It isn't hard. :hi

Nanda 05-22-2004 08:57 AM

Louisiana Crazy Law
It is illegal to gargle in public places.


It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.

Biting someone with your natural teeth is "simple assault," while biting someone with your false teeth is "aggravated assault."


New Orleans
It illegal for a woman to drive a car unless her husband is waving a flag in front of it.


You may not tie an alligator to a fire hydrant.

E-mail this joke to your friends!

ClamSmacker 05-22-2004 08:57 AM

Do you like Clams?
:2 cents:

Nanda 05-22-2004 08:58 AM

Maine Crazy Law
Shotguns are required to be taken to church in the event of a Native American attack.


You may not step out of a plane in flight.

After January 14th you will be charged a fine for having your Christmas decorations still up.


Augusta
To stroll down the street playing a violin is against the law.


Portland
Shoelaces must be tied while walking down the street.

Smokey The ßear 05-22-2004 08:58 AM

:NopeNope An old lady owned two monkeys. One day they both died :spawn

Nanda 05-22-2004 08:58 AM

Maryland Crazy Law
Thistles may not grow in one's yard.
Baltimore
No person who is a "tramp" or "vagrant" shall loiter in any park at any time. They define tramp as a person who roves for begging purposes and a vagrant as an idle person who is able-bodied living without labor. It's a $50 fine. I guess the tramp would have to beg for the money to pay the fine. -Park Rule 6

It's illegal to take a lion to the movies.


It's illegal to throw bales of hay from a second-story window within the city limits.


It is a violation of city code to sell chicks or ducklings to a minor within 1 week of the Easter holiday.


It is a park rule violation to be in a public park with a sleeveless shirt. $10 fine. This would include joggers that go shirtless. (1898)


Baltimore City
You may not curse inside the city limits.


Though you may spit on a city roadway, spitting on city sidewalks is prohibited.


Columbia
Though clotheslines are banned, clothes may be draped over a fence.


You can not have a antenna exposed outside of your house yet you can have a 25' satellite dish.


Ocean City
Eating while swimming in the ocean is prohibited.


A law from the early 1900's prohibits men from going topless on the Boardwalk. (Repealed)

ClamSmacker 05-22-2004 08:59 AM

Can you walk the walk and talk the talk?

Nanda 05-22-2004 08:59 AM

Massachusetts Crazy Law
Children may smoke, but they may not purchase cigarettes.


Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts.

Affiliation with the Communist party is illegal.


No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car.


Bullets may not be used as currency.


Alcoholic drink specials are illegal.


Massachusetts liquor stores can only open on Sundays if they are in Berkshire, Essex, Franklin, Middlesex or Worcester counties and are within 10 miles of the Vermont or New Hampshire borders.


It's illegal to drive Texan, Mexican, Cherokee, or Indian cattle on a public road. (MGL Chapter 129 Section 35)


Tomatoes may not be used in the production of clam chowder.


Hunting on Sundays is prohibited.


It is illegal to go to bed without first having a full bath.


At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches.


Public boxing matches are outlawed.


It is unlawful to injure a football goal post, doing so is punishable by a $200 fine.


It's illegal to keep a mule on the second floor of a building not in a city unless there are 2 exits. (MGL Chapter 272 section 86)


It's illegal to sell fewer than 24 ducklings at a time before May 1, or to sell rabbits, chicks, or ducklings that have been painted a different color. (MGL Chapter 272 Section 80D)


It's illegal to allow someone to use stilts while working on the construction of a building. (MGL Chapter 149 Section 129B)


Defacing a milk carton is punishable by a $10 fine.


It is illegal to frighten a pigeon.


An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.


All men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday. (Repealed)


Tattooing and body piercing is illegal. (Repealed October 2000)


Quakers and witches are banned.


Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.


It is illegal to reproach Jesus Christ or the holy ghost. (MGL Chapter 272 section 36)


Boston
No one may take a bath without a prescription.


It is illegal for any citizen to own more than three dogs.


An old law prohibits the taking of baths on Sunday.


Duels to the death permitted on the common on Sundays provided that the Governor is present.


Women may not wear heels over 3 inches in length while on the common.


Anyone may let their sheep and cows graze in the public gardens/commons at any time except Sundays.


No more than two baths may be taken within the confines of the city.


No one may cross the Boston Common without carrying a shotgun in case of bears.


It is illegal to play the fiddle.


Two people may not kiss in front of a church.


It is illegal to eat peanuts in church.


Burlington
You may not walk around with a "drink".


Cambridge
It is illegal to shake carpets in the street, or to throw orange peels on the sidewalk (section 12.16.100).


It costs $50 extra for a permit for hurling, soccer or Gaelic football games in a public park on a Sunday. (section 12.20.030)


Hingham
You may not have colored lights on your house if it can be seen from Main Street. Only white lights may be visible.


If you live on Main Street and want to paint your house, the colors must be approved by the historical society.


Hopkinton
Though horses and cows are allowed on the common, dogs are prohibited.


Longmeadow
It is illegal for two men to carry a bathtub across the town green.


Marlboro
One may not detonate a nuclear device in the city.


Silly string is illegal in the city limits.


It is illegal for any citizen to own more than two dogs.


It is illegal to buy, sell or possess a squirt gun.


Milford
Peeping in the windows of automobiles is forbidden.


Newton
All families must be given a hog from the town's mayor.


North Andover
An ordinance prohibits the use of space guns.


Woburn
In bars, it is actually illegal to "walk around" with a beer in your hand. (Repealed)


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:44 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
©2000-, AI Media Network Inc123