:ak47: How many men do you need for a mafia funeral? :Kissmy

:eek2 Only one. To slam the car boot shut. :GFYBand

:feels-hot There were four 80 year old men playing golf. One complained the hills were to high. The second complained the bunkers were too deep. The third said the holes were too wide. The fourth one said 'Shut up! At least we're still on the right side of the grass!' :arcadefre

:ugone2far A: Ric O'Shea!! :fart

:repuke Q. Did you hear Clinton doesn't use bookmarks? :mad:

:ticking Six stages of married life:1: Tri-weekly2: Try weekly3: Try weakly4. Try oysters5: Try anything6: Try to remember :feels-hot

:moon A. He just bends over the pages.... :evil-laug

:eyecrazy The graduate with a science degree asks 'Why does it work?' :ak47:

:winkwink: The graduate with an engenieering degree asks 'How does it do that?' :1orglaugh

:smokin The graduate with an accounting degree asks 'How much does it cost?' :ugone2far

:Kissmy Q. Know how to make a Cat sound like a Dog? :arcadefre

:evil-laug The graduate with the Arts degree asks 'Do you want fries with that?' :321GFY

:BangBang: 'Was your wife a virgin when you married?' :xomunch

:drinkup A. Pour Gas on a Cat :eek2

:drinkup 'I don't know. Some say yes. Some say no.' :eek2

:fart and throw a match at it........ WOOF. :disgust

:ak47: What is the last thing to go through the mind of a mosquito when it hits your windscreen? :eatmouse

Did you know that Raikkonen will win tomorrow the Monaco F1 Gp?

:Note It's ass. :Grrrrrr

:thumbsup Q. Know how to make a Dog sound like a Cat? :Oh crap

:question A face can say many things. Especially the mouth part. :tongue:

:repuke A. Stick a Dog in a freezer for a day :D

:warning A stick. :Oh crap

:Note Q. What did the sea say to the shore? :question

:Hollering What's the difference between a rotwieler and a poodle? :BangBang:

:thefinger Q. What's the similarity between a woman and a guitar? :Oh crap

:GFYBand If a rotwieler starts humping your leg you let it finish. :D

:Kissmy A. You play at the top and finger the bottom... :D

:1orglaugh Q. What's the similarity between a woman and a bank? :rasta

:Kissmy You must have come from the shallow end of the gene pool. :stoned

:sadcrying It was so cold :xomunch

Jesus fucking christ...

:eek7 the town flasher ran up and described himself. :stop

:stop A. After withdrawal :zzwhip

:waaaaahh What do you get if you cross an Irish man with a Gernan? :repuke

:hi you lose interest... :Graucho

:thumbsup A man who's too drunk to follow orders. :Buck:

:tongue: Q. How do you make out if a guy's gay? :2 cents:

:waaaaahh Two cows in a field. One says to the other 'What do you think about this mad cow desease?' The other one replies 'Blimey! a talking cow!' :glugglug

:ticking A. He is always expanding his friend(s) circle... :xomunch

:GFYBand one hardly used. :thumbsup

:zzwhip Q: What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? :thefinger

:rainfro It isn't hard. :eek2

:stop An old lady owned two monkeys. One day they both died :thumbsup

:rainfro Q: Why do bald men have holes in their pants pockets? :arcadefre

:eyecrazy so she took them to the taxodermist :Hollering

:zzwhip A: So they can run their fingers through their hair. :rainfro

:eatmouse 'So you want them mounted?' asked the taxidermist. To which she replied ; 'No. Holding hands will do just fine.' :xomunch

:feels-hot Why does an elephant have four feet? :pimp

:evil-laug A: They have to pull their own pants down. :Note