:helpme An old lady owned two monkeys. One day they both died :karaoke

Im gettin tired

damn smokey...

:Oh crap so she took them to the taxodermist :Note

"Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes."

smokey is tearing it up in here

:drinkup 'So you want them mounted?' asked the taxidermist. To which she replied ; 'No. Holding hands will do just fine.' :moon

"The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting."

I wish I lived closer to mountains

"It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man."

130, woo hoo

:evil-laug Because it would look silly with six inches. :GFYBand

"Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work."

This is growing tiresome.. I must quit soon and get back to work

:ugone2far but sure looks better on a woman. :arcadefre

Ive only been here for an hour or two and have read that reply a dozen times already

of course it's already past midnight, hmm

"The cynics are right nine times out of ten."

Its cold in here, brb

:moon What do you call a woman who can suck golf balls through a hose? :Buck:

"There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem."

:321GFY love that guy

:GFYBand Why do women get periods? :disgust

"And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him."

:Graucho

"Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance."

:Hollering Why did the punk cross the road? :mad:

Whats with all the insighful quotes? Some are just bizarre

:drinkup Because he was stapled to the chickens back. :tongue:

"Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things."

:eyecrazy How many men do you need for a mafia funeral? :spawn

"It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant."

"I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television."

:smokin There were four 80 year old men playing golf. One complained the hills were to high. The second complained the bunkers were too deep. The third said the holes were too wide. The fourth one said 'Shut up! At least we're still on the right side of the grass!' :smokin

"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying."

100 :)

:eek7 Six stages of married life:1: Tri-weekly2: Try weekly3: Try weakly4. Try oysters5: Try anything6: Try to remember :zzwhip

okay enough of this, goodnight.

:sleep A man took his wife to the doctors. After a short examination the doctor said 'Your wife's mind has completely gone!'. To which the man replied 'I'm not surprised. She's been giving a piece of it to me every day for the past 25 years!' :question

:eyecrazy The graduate with an engenieering degree asks 'How does it do that?' :Buck: