"Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws."

:thefinger the town flasher ran up and described himself. :sleep

:1orglaugh

running on empty

:ugone2far A man who's too drunk to follow orders. :smokin

I will win

"The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it."

:winkwink:

:winkwink: Two cows in a field. One says to the other 'What do you think about this mad cow desease?' The other one replies 'Blimey! a talking cow!' :drinkup

future primitive

:D For sale : Twin beds :rasta

:glugglug

"Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'."

:hi one hardly used. :drinkup

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want

:mad: How do you tell an old man? :fart

jungle fever

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

"We have art to save ourselves from the truth."

:rainfro An old lady owned two monkeys. One day they both died :arcadefre

down periscope

:arcadefre so she took them to the taxodermist :rainfro

"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

:uhoh 'So you want them mounted?' asked the taxidermist. To which she replied ; 'No. Holding hands will do just fine.' :question

drop the hammer

"I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it."

:waaaaahh Because it would look silly with six inches. :xomunch

taking it to the limit

"Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe."

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.

:drinkup Anatomy is something everybody's got :NopeNope

boyz in da hood

:winkwink: but sure looks better on a woman. :stoned

Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

"Talent does what it can; genius does what it must."

:ak47: Darling. :evil-laug

:moon Why do women get periods? :eek2

Any married man should forget his mistakes-there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

stella aint got no groove