Why don't men eat more M & M's?
They are too hard to peel!

What do you call a man with an I.Q. of 50?
Gifted!

Stop The Insanity

What is the difference between men and government bonds?
Bonds mature!

:NopeNope one hardly used. :Grrrrrr

Why are blond jokes so short?
So men can remember them!

:pimp so she took them to the taxodermist :smokin

What do men and beer bottles have in common?
They are both empty from the neck up!

How can you tell if a man is happy?
Who cares!

:thefinger 'So you want them mounted?' asked the taxidermist. To which she replied ; 'No. Holding hands will do just fine.' :cool-as-a

:321GFY Because it would look silly with six inches. :pimp

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
We don't know - it's never happened.

:eek7 Anatomy is something everybody's got :hi

:stop but sure looks better on a woman. :hi

:waaaaahh What do you call a woman who can suck golf balls through a hose? :stoned

you guys are gunna get banned

How are men and parking spots alike?
The good ones are always taken and the ones that are left are handicapped.

:ak47: Darling. :Hollering

:stoned Why do women get periods? :Grrrrrr

:mad: Why did the punk cross the road? :sleep

What's a man's idea of housework?
Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.

:Kissmy Because he was stapled to the chickens back. :Kissmy

:eek7 How many men do you need for a mafia funeral? :repuke

What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
E.T. phoned home!

:fart Only one. To slam the car boot shut. :karaoke

What did God say after he created man?
I can do better than this!

:321GFY Broken promises don't upset me. I just think 'Why did they believe me?' :ticking

:question Six stages of married life:1: Tri-weekly2: Try weekly3: Try weakly4. Try oysters5: Try anything6: Try to remember :tongue:

What does a man consider a seven course meal?
A hot dog and a six pack of beer!

:helpme A man took his wife to the doctors. After a short examination the doctor said 'Your wife's mind has completely gone!'. To which the man replied 'I'm not surprised. She's been giving a piece of it to me every day for the past 25 years!' :stop

How do men exercise at the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini

:eek7 The graduate with an engenieering degree asks 'How does it do that?' :zzwhip

What's the best way to force a man to do situps?
Put the remote between his toes.

:Graucho The graduate with an accounting degree asks 'How much does it cost?' :drinkup

How do men define a 50/50 relationship?
We cook/they eat we clean/they dirty we iron/they wrinkle!

:fart The graduate with the Arts degree asks 'Do you want fries with that?' :Note

Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and your going to want to shoot it.

:evil-laug 'Was your wife a virgin when you married?' :rainfro

:Kissmy 'I don't know. Some say yes. Some say no.' :disgust