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Welcome to the GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum forums. You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today! If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us. |
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| Discuss what's fucking going on, and which programs are best and worst. One-time "program" announcements from "established" webmasters are allowed. |
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05-21-2004, 01:20 PM
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#4551 |
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So Fucking Banned
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 1,996
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 A. Open 24 hours a day.  |
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05-21-2004, 01:20 PM
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#4552 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: African Safari
Posts: 5,310
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A new law recently passed in Arkansas.
When a couple is divorced, they can still legally be brother and sister
__________________
My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business. He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce! 
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05-21-2004, 01:21 PM
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#4553 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: African Safari
Posts: 5,310
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How do you know that the toothbrush was invented by a redneck?
If it was invented by anyone else they would have called it a "teethbrush".
__________________
My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business. He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!
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05-21-2004, 01:21 PM
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#4554 |
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So Fucking Banned
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 1,996
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 Q. Why did the blonde throw bread crumbs down the toilet?  |
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05-21-2004, 01:21 PM
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#4555 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: African Safari
Posts: 5,310
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Why are there no fertility clinics in Arkansas?
They would just tell the women to try another brother
__________________
My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business. He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!
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05-21-2004, 01:22 PM
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#4556 |
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So Fucking Banned
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 1,996
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 A. To feed the toilet duck!  |
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05-21-2004, 01:22 PM
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#4557 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: African Safari
Posts: 5,310
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There's a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, ''Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!''
Herman says, ''I know, but there isn't just one, there are hundreds!''
__________________
My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business. He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!
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05-21-2004, 01:22 PM
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#4558 |
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So Fucking Banned
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 1,996
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 Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a pair of sun glasses?  |
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05-21-2004, 01:22 PM
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#4559 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: African Safari
Posts: 5,310
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What do you call the moisture between two people having sex in Alabama?
Relative humidity
__________________
My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business. He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!
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05-21-2004, 01:23 PM
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#4560 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: African Safari
Posts: 5,310
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Bar... Alabama
This guy walks into a bar down in Alabama and orderes a mudslide. The bartender looks at the man and says "You're not from round here are ya?" "No" replied the man, "I'm from Pensylvania." The bartender looks at him and syas "Well what do you do in Pensylvania?" "I'm a taxidermist." said the man. The bartender, looking very bewildered, now asked "What in the world is a tax-e-derm-ist?" The man looked at the bar tender and said "Well, I mount dead animals." The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar which is staring at him "It's okay, boys! He's one of us!"
__________________
My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business. He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!
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05-21-2004, 01:23 PM
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#4561 | |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: next to you
Posts: 816
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Quote:
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05-21-2004, 01:23 PM
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#4562 |
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So Fucking Banned
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 1,996
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 A. The sun glasses sit higher on your face.  |
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05-21-2004, 01:24 PM
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#4563 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: African Safari
Posts: 5,310
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A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks, ''Where did you get that?''
The pig says, ''I won her in a raffle!''
__________________
My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business. He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!
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05-21-2004, 01:24 PM
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#4564 |
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So Fucking Banned
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 1,996
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A. practice.  |
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05-21-2004, 01:24 PM
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#4565 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: African Safari
Posts: 5,310
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You might be a redneck if you give Santa three pickled eggs and a cold one instead of cookies and milk
__________________
My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business. He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!
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05-21-2004, 01:24 PM
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#4566 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Kingman AZ
Posts: 2,849
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You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . you have ever used a light-sabre to clean fish or open a non-twist-off bottle of beer. |
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05-21-2004, 01:24 PM
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#4567 |
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So Fucking Banned
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 1,996
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 Q. Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?  |
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05-21-2004, 01:25 PM
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#4568 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: African Safari
Posts: 5,310
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Clinton's DNA
Re: DNA Test Results: Clinton, William Jefferson Dear Mr. Starr: The test on the dress came back inconclusive. Everyone in Arkansas has the same DNA. Apologies, The FBI
__________________
My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business. He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!
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05-21-2004, 01:25 PM
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#4569 |
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So Fucking Banned
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 1,996
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A. To cover the valve stem.  |
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05-21-2004, 01:25 PM
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#4570 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Kingman AZ
Posts: 2,849
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You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . you have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingie to get the bar-b-q grill to light. |
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05-21-2004, 01:25 PM
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#4571 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: African Safari
Posts: 5,310
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There was a Kentucky redneck and an Ohio buckeye, fishing on their respective sides of the Ohio river. Just as soon as the redneck put his line in the water, he slung a fish onto the bank, and the buckeye was catching nothing, so he yelled across to the redneck, ''Buddy, I'd sure like to be on your side of the river!''
''Aight, tell ya whut, I'll shine my flashlight 'cross this river, and you can walk across this little beam of light!'' the redneck yelled back. The buckeye replied, ''Hain't no way, buddy. I know you think I'm a fool! When I get halfway 'cross, you'll turn your flashlight off!''
__________________
My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business. He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!
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05-21-2004, 01:26 PM
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#4572 |
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So Fucking Banned
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 1,996
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 Q. Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks? |
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05-21-2004, 01:26 PM
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#4573 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: African Safari
Posts: 5,310
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You know you're a redneck when the biggest city you've been to is Wal-Mart.
__________________
My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business. He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!
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05-21-2004, 01:26 PM
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#4574 |
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So Fucking Banned
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 1,996
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 A. It takes too long to retrain them.  |
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05-21-2004, 01:26 PM
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#4575 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Kingman AZ
Posts: 2,849
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You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . you wore burlap even before you started your Jedi training. I cant stop  lol |
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05-21-2004, 01:26 PM
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#4576 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: African Safari
Posts: 5,310
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An old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day. The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as the cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail. The cowboy then moved slowly to the back of his horse, lifted its tail, and placed a big kiss where the sun don't shine. He dropped the horse's tail, stepped up on the walk and aimed toward the swinging doors of the saloon.
"Hold on there, Mister," said the sheriff. "Did I just see what I think I saw?" "Reckon you did, Sheriff. I got me some powerful chapped lips." "And that cures them?" the Sheriff asked. "Nope, but it keeps me from lickin' 'em."
__________________
My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business. He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!
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05-21-2004, 01:27 PM
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#4577 |
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So Fucking Banned
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 1,996
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 Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a guy?  |
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05-21-2004, 01:27 PM
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#4578 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: African Safari
Posts: 5,310
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You might be a redneck if you mow your grass and find three cars.
You might be a redneck if you think the first four words of the national anthem are, ''Gentlemen start your engines''.
__________________
My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business. He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!
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05-21-2004, 01:28 PM
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#4579 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: African Safari
Posts: 5,310
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Q: What is a double-wide salad?
A: It's for people who can't afford a house salad.
__________________
My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business. He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!
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05-21-2004, 01:28 PM
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#4580 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Never visits the same thread twice
Posts: 4,099
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ohh! a new bot
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05-21-2004, 01:29 PM
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#4581 | |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Kingman AZ
Posts: 2,849
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Quote:
Hey Nanda get your own thing Jolly Rancher has the blonde jokes I got the you know your a redneck...I didnt steal blonde jokes from JR. dont steal the redneck from me lol |
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05-21-2004, 01:29 PM
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#4582 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: African Safari
Posts: 5,310
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You know you're a redneck if you have sex ed and drivers ed in the same car.
__________________
My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business. He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!
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05-21-2004, 01:29 PM
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#4583 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Kingman AZ
Posts: 2,849
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You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . your favorite meals on Dagoba incorporate native snakes. |
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05-21-2004, 01:30 PM
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#4584 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Kingman AZ
Posts: 2,849
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You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . you have fuzzy dice hanging in the cockpit of your X-Wing. |
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05-21-2004, 01:31 PM
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#4585 | |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: African Safari
Posts: 5,310
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Quote:
 A high school teacher reminded her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family - but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class did its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled sympathetically at the student, shook her head, and sweetly said, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand." It took 15 minutes for the class to come to order.......
__________________
My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business. He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!
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05-21-2004, 01:31 PM
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#4586 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Kingman AZ
Posts: 2,849
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You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . you've asked an Ewok to help you go coon hunting. |
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05-21-2004, 01:31 PM
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#4587 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 564
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Sorry, this topic is now closed, no more posts allowed. Not even to say how sorry you are to see the thread go!
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05-21-2004, 01:31 PM
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#4588 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Tampa
Posts: 1,477
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05-21-2004, 01:31 PM
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#4589 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: African Safari
Posts: 5,310
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Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence.
__________________
My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business. He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!
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05-21-2004, 01:32 PM
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#4590 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: African Safari
Posts: 5,310
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Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached
__________________
My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business. He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!
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05-21-2004, 01:32 PM
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#4591 | |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Kingman AZ
Posts: 2,849
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Quote:
No worries its all good  |
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05-21-2004, 01:32 PM
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#4592 |
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So Fucking Banned
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 1,996
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A. The blonde has the higher sperm count.  |
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05-21-2004, 01:33 PM
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#4593 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: African Safari
Posts: 5,310
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Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind
__________________
My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business. He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!
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05-21-2004, 01:33 PM
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#4594 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Never visits the same thread twice
Posts: 4,099
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yeah i mean god damn lets keep the jokes fresh! lol
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05-21-2004, 01:33 PM
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#4595 |
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So Fucking Banned
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 1,996
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Q. How is a blonde like peanut-butter?  |
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05-21-2004, 01:33 PM
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#4596 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Kingman AZ
Posts: 2,849
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So I won I had the last post???????
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05-21-2004, 01:34 PM
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#4597 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: African Safari
Posts: 5,310
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Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters
__________________
My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business. He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!
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05-21-2004, 01:34 PM
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#4598 |
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So Fucking Banned
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 1,996
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Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house? |
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05-21-2004, 01:34 PM
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#4599 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Never visits the same thread twice
Posts: 4,099
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yes u won!
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05-21-2004, 01:34 PM
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#4600 |
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Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Kingman AZ
Posts: 2,849
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You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . you've ever looked at your sister, thought she was one hot babe, and kissed her.  |
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