The Last Person to ever post is this Thread wins $250 (paypal) - Page 97 - GoFuckYourself.com

Nanda · 05-21-2004, 02:24 PM

Two hunters are stalking through the forest when one says to the other that he has to take a dump. ''Well, go in the bushes.''
''What should I use to wipe my ass?''

''Use a dollar bill.''

A few minutes later the hunter steps out of the bushes with shit all over his hands.

''What happened?'' asks his friend.

''I didn't have a dollar bill, so I used four quarters.''

SlickRick · 05-21-2004, 02:25 PM

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . you think the Death Star is in the outhouse.

Nanda · 05-21-2004, 02:25 PM

Whats the difference between deernuts and beernuts?
Beernuts are a $1.39 and deernuts are under a buck.

Jolly Rancher · 05-21-2004, 02:25 PM

A. After a year

SlickRick · 05-21-2004, 02:25 PM

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . you have fish innards all over your light sabor.

Nanda · 05-21-2004, 02:26 PM

What is the definition of suspicious?
A nun doing sit-ups in a cucumber field.

SlickRick · 05-21-2004, 02:26 PM

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . at least one section of your X-Wing is bondo colored.

Jolly Rancher · 05-21-2004, 02:26 PM

Q. Did you hear about the new blonde paint?

TheLegacy · 05-21-2004, 02:26 PM

some funny shit here

SlickRick · 05-21-2004, 02:27 PM

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . you can't describe the taste of an Ewok without using the word chicken.

Jolly Rancher · 05-21-2004, 02:27 PM

A It's not real bright

Nanda · 05-21-2004, 02:27 PM

Did you hear about the man who drank 5 gallons of tea?
He drowned in his teepee!

Oh Sheila · 05-21-2004, 02:27 PM

If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

Nanda · 05-21-2004, 02:27 PM

Two cannibals are eating dinner and one says, "I hate my mother-in-law."
The other replies, "Well, just eat your noodles, then."

amaze · 05-21-2004, 02:28 PM

Once there was a blonde who really needed some money. She saw an ad in the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory. She went down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn't want the job because it was so boring. The blonde begged him and told him she would do anything because she needed the money really bad. After long consideration the manager hired her.
After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor showing the factory floor and saw that the conveyer belt was backed up. The manager went downstairs to find out what the problem was. When he arived there the blonde was sewing to marbles into the crotch of every Elmo.

The manager said, ''I said to give each Elmo two test tickles; not two testicles!''

SlickRick · 05-21-2004, 02:28 PM

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . the moonshine still you built on Endor is hidden so well even the Ewoks can't find it.

Jolly Rancher · 05-21-2004, 02:28 PM

but its cheap

Nanda · 05-21-2004, 02:28 PM

Q: Whats brown and has holes?
A: Swiss shit.

Nanda · 05-21-2004, 02:28 PM

Why did God make farts smelly?
So deaf people can enjoy them too!

Jolly Rancher · 05-21-2004, 02:29 PM

and spreads easy.

Nanda · 05-21-2004, 02:29 PM

An old man and a old lady went in the doctor's office to get their yearly exam. The doctor came in and started to get some information from them. He then told the old man that he needed to have a stool sample and a urine sample. The old man turned to the old lady and asked her what the doctor said.
"He needs a pair of your underwear."

Jolly Rancher · 05-21-2004, 02:30 PM

A. Between the two of us

Nanda · 05-21-2004, 02:30 PM

What did the bow-legged doe say?
Thats the last time I will do that for ten bucks.

Jolly Rancher · 05-21-2004, 02:30 PM

Q. How does a blonde part their hair?

SlickRick · 05-21-2004, 02:31 PM

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you were acquitted for murdering your first wife after she threw out your Elvis 45's.

Jolly Rancher · 05-21-2004, 02:31 PM

A. By doing the splits.

SlickRick · 05-21-2004, 02:31 PM

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you think watching professional wrestling is foreplay.

Jolly Rancher · 05-21-2004, 02:32 PM

Q. What did the blondes right leg say to the left leg?

SlickRick · 05-21-2004, 02:32 PM

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . your front porch collapses and four dogs get killed.

Nanda · 05-21-2004, 02:32 PM

How can you pick out Dolly Parton's kids on the play ground?
They're the ones with the stretch marks around their lips!

Jolly Rancher · 05-21-2004, 02:32 PM

A. Nothing

SlickRick · 05-21-2004, 02:33 PM

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you no longer drink wine ever since the screw cap got caught up your nose.

Jolly Rancher · 05-21-2004, 02:33 PM

Q. Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?

SlickRick · 05-21-2004, 02:34 PM

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

Jolly Rancher · 05-21-2004, 02:34 PM

A. Because that's where your supposed to wash vegetables.

SlickRick · 05-21-2004, 02:34 PM

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . that billboard that says, 'Say No To Crack' reminds you to pull up your jeans.

Jolly Rancher · 05-21-2004, 02:34 PM

Q. What's a blondes favorite nursery rhyme?

Jolly Rancher · 05-21-2004, 02:35 PM

A. Humpme Dumpme

Jolly Rancher · 05-21-2004, 02:36 PM

Q. Why did the blonde like the car with a sunroof?

SlickRick · 05-21-2004, 02:37 PM

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . your wifes hairdo was ever ruined by a ceiling fan.

Jolly Rancher · 05-21-2004, 02:37 PM

Q. Why don't blondes use vibrators?

SlickRick · 05-21-2004, 02:37 PM

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you go to your family reunions looking for a date.

Jolly Rancher · 05-21-2004, 02:37 PM

A. They chip their teeth.

SlickRick · 05-21-2004, 02:38 PM

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you think a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy.

Jolly Rancher · 05-21-2004, 02:38 PM

Q. How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?

Nanda · 05-21-2004, 02:38 PM

A boy awoke and wanted breakfast so he told his mother. She said, "Not until you feed the animals."
The boy went outside and said to the chicken, "I don't feel like feeding you today." So he kicked the chicken. He did the same with the cow and the pig. The boy then went back into the house and told his mother he was hungry. His mother said, "I saw you kick the chicken so you're not getting any eggs, I saw you kick the cow so you're not getting any milk and I saw kick the pig so you're not getting any bacon."

Just then the boy's father walked down the steps and tripped over and kicked the cat and the boy said, "Mom should I tell him?"

SlickRick · 05-21-2004, 02:38 PM

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.

Jolly Rancher · 05-21-2004, 02:39 PM

A. Fertilized

SlickRick · 05-21-2004, 02:39 PM

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you've got more than three cousins named Bubba.

Jolly Rancher · 05-21-2004, 02:39 PM

Q. Why do blondes like tilt steering?

05-21-2004, 02:24 PM	#4801
Nanda Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: African Safari Posts: 5,310	Two hunters are stalking through the forest when one says to the other that he has to take a dump. ''Well, go in the bushes.'' ''What should I use to wipe my ass?'' ''Use a dollar bill.'' A few minutes later the hunter steps out of the bushes with shit all over his hands. ''What happened?'' asks his friend. ''I didn't have a dollar bill, so I used four quarters.'' __________________ My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business. He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!

05-21-2004, 02:25 PM	#4803
Nanda Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: African Safari Posts: 5,310	Whats the difference between deernuts and beernuts? Beernuts are a $1.39 and deernuts are under a buck. __________________ My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business. He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!

05-21-2004, 02:26 PM	#4806
Nanda Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: African Safari Posts: 5,310	What is the definition of suspicious? A nun doing sit-ups in a cucumber field. __________________ My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business. He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!

05-21-2004, 02:26 PM	#4809
TheLegacy SEO Connoisseur Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Brantford, Ontario Posts: 16,526	some funny shit here __________________ SEO Connoisseur Microsoft Teams: Robert Warren SEO Telegram: @TheLegacy54 RobertWarrenSEO.com

05-21-2004, 02:27 PM	#4812
Nanda Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: African Safari Posts: 5,310	Did you hear about the man who drank 5 gallons of tea? He drowned in his teepee! __________________ My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business. He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!

05-21-2004, 02:25 PM	#4802
SlickRick Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Kingman AZ Posts: 2,849	You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . . . . . you think the Death Star is in the outhouse.

05-21-2004, 02:25 PM	#4804
Jolly Rancher So Fucking Banned Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 1,996	A. After a year

05-21-2004, 02:25 PM	#4805
SlickRick Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Kingman AZ Posts: 2,849	You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . . . . . you have fish innards all over your light sabor.

05-21-2004, 02:26 PM	#4807
SlickRick Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Kingman AZ Posts: 2,849	You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . . . . . at least one section of your X-Wing is bondo colored.

05-21-2004, 02:26 PM	#4808
Jolly Rancher So Fucking Banned Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 1,996	Q. Did you hear about the new blonde paint?

05-21-2004, 02:27 PM	#4810
SlickRick Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Kingman AZ Posts: 2,849	You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . . . . . you can't describe the taste of an Ewok without using the word chicken.

05-21-2004, 02:27 PM	#4811
Jolly Rancher So Fucking Banned Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 1,996	A It's not real bright

05-21-2004, 02:27 PM	#4813
Oh Sheila Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: California Posts: 1,404	If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right? __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60.

05-21-2004, 02:27 PM	#4814
Nanda Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: African Safari Posts: 5,310	Two cannibals are eating dinner and one says, "I hate my mother-in-law." The other replies, "Well, just eat your noodles, then." __________________ My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business. He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!

05-21-2004, 02:28 PM	#4815
amaze Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: next to you Posts: 816	Once there was a blonde who really needed some money. She saw an ad in the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory. She went down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn't want the job because it was so boring. The blonde begged him and told him she would do anything because she needed the money really bad. After long consideration the manager hired her. After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor showing the factory floor and saw that the conveyer belt was backed up. The manager went downstairs to find out what the problem was. When he arived there the blonde was sewing to marbles into the crotch of every Elmo. The manager said, ''I said to give each Elmo two test tickles; not two testicles!''

05-21-2004, 02:28 PM	#4816
SlickRick Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Kingman AZ Posts: 2,849	You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . . . . . the moonshine still you built on Endor is hidden so well even the Ewoks can't find it.

05-21-2004, 02:28 PM	#4817
Jolly Rancher So Fucking Banned Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 1,996	but its cheap

05-21-2004, 02:28 PM	#4818
Nanda Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: African Safari Posts: 5,310	Q: Whats brown and has holes? A: Swiss shit. __________________ My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business. He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!

05-21-2004, 02:28 PM	#4819
Nanda Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: African Safari Posts: 5,310	Why did God make farts smelly? So deaf people can enjoy them too! __________________ My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business. He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!

05-21-2004, 02:29 PM	#4820
Jolly Rancher So Fucking Banned Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 1,996	and spreads easy.

05-21-2004, 02:29 PM	#4821
Nanda Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: African Safari Posts: 5,310	An old man and a old lady went in the doctor's office to get their yearly exam. The doctor came in and started to get some information from them. He then told the old man that he needed to have a stool sample and a urine sample. The old man turned to the old lady and asked her what the doctor said. "He needs a pair of your underwear." __________________ My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business. He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!

05-21-2004, 02:30 PM	#4822
Jolly Rancher So Fucking Banned Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 1,996	A. Between the two of us

05-21-2004, 02:30 PM	#4823
Nanda Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: African Safari Posts: 5,310	What did the bow-legged doe say? Thats the last time I will do that for ten bucks. __________________ My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business. He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!

05-21-2004, 02:30 PM	#4824
Jolly Rancher So Fucking Banned Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 1,996	Q. How does a blonde part their hair?

05-21-2004, 02:31 PM	#4825
SlickRick Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Kingman AZ Posts: 2,849	You Might Be A Redneck If . . . . . . you were acquitted for murdering your first wife after she threw out your Elvis 45's.

05-21-2004, 02:31 PM	#4826
Jolly Rancher So Fucking Banned Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 1,996	A. By doing the splits.

05-21-2004, 02:31 PM	#4827
SlickRick Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Kingman AZ Posts: 2,849	You Might Be A Redneck If . . . . . . you think watching professional wrestling is foreplay.

05-21-2004, 02:32 PM	#4828
Jolly Rancher So Fucking Banned Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 1,996	Q. What did the blondes right leg say to the left leg?

05-21-2004, 02:32 PM	#4829
SlickRick Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Kingman AZ Posts: 2,849	You Might Be A Redneck If . . . . . . your front porch collapses and four dogs get killed.

05-21-2004, 02:32 PM	#4830
Nanda Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: African Safari Posts: 5,310	How can you pick out Dolly Parton's kids on the play ground? They're the ones with the stretch marks around their lips! __________________ My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business. He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!

05-21-2004, 02:32 PM	#4831
Jolly Rancher So Fucking Banned Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 1,996	A. Nothing

05-21-2004, 02:33 PM	#4832
SlickRick Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Kingman AZ Posts: 2,849	You Might Be A Redneck If . . . . . . you no longer drink wine ever since the screw cap got caught up your nose.

05-21-2004, 02:33 PM	#4833
Jolly Rancher So Fucking Banned Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 1,996	Q. Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?

05-21-2004, 02:34 PM	#4834
SlickRick Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Kingman AZ Posts: 2,849	You Might Be A Redneck If . . . . . . you think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

05-21-2004, 02:34 PM	#4835
Jolly Rancher So Fucking Banned Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 1,996	A. Because that's where your supposed to wash vegetables.