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Old 05-21-2004, 06:49 PM   #5701
Smokey The ßear
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How do you tell an old man?
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Old 05-21-2004, 06:50 PM   #5702
Jolly Rancher
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Q: Why do blondes have two more brain cells than a cow?
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Old 05-21-2004, 06:50 PM   #5703
Smokey The ßear
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It isn't hard.
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Old 05-21-2004, 06:50 PM   #5704
Jolly Rancher
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A: So when you pull on their tits they don't shit on you.
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Old 05-21-2004, 06:50 PM   #5705
Smokey The ßear
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An old lady owned two monkeys. One day they both died
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Old 05-21-2004, 06:51 PM   #5706
Jolly Rancher
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Q: How much hair is in a girl's lap?
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Old 05-21-2004, 06:51 PM   #5707
Smokey The ßear
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so she took them to the taxodermist
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Old 05-21-2004, 06:51 PM   #5708
Jolly Rancher
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A: A box full.
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Old 05-21-2004, 06:52 PM   #5709
Smokey The ßear
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:D 'So you want them mounted?' asked the taxidermist. To which she replied ; 'No. Holding hands will do just fine.'
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Old 05-21-2004, 06:52 PM   #5710
Jolly Rancher
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Q: Why were shopping carts invented?
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Old 05-21-2004, 06:52 PM   #5711
Smokey The ßear
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Why does an elephant have four feet?
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Old 05-21-2004, 06:53 PM   #5712
Jolly Rancher
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A: To teach women to walk on their hind legs.
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Old 05-21-2004, 06:53 PM   #5713
Smokey The ßear
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Because it would look silly with six inches.
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Old 05-21-2004, 06:53 PM   #5714
Jolly Rancher
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Q: What do you call a 300 pound Italian girl?
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Old 05-21-2004, 06:53 PM   #5715
Smokey The ßear
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Anatomy is something everybody's got
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Old 05-21-2004, 06:54 PM   #5716
Jolly Rancher
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A: Underweight.
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Old 05-21-2004, 06:54 PM   #5717
Smokey The ßear
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but sure looks better on a woman.
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Old 05-21-2004, 06:54 PM   #5718
Jolly Rancher
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Q: What do you call a 300 pound woman in Minnesota?
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Old 05-21-2004, 06:55 PM   #5719
Smokey The ßear
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What do you call a woman who can suck golf balls through a hose?
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Old 05-21-2004, 06:55 PM   #5720
Jolly Rancher
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A: Anorexic
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Old 05-21-2004, 06:55 PM   #5721
Smokey The ßear
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Darling.
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Old 05-21-2004, 06:55 PM   #5722
Jolly Rancher
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Q: Why did it take so long for Lorena Bobbitt to throw the dick out of the window?
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Old 05-21-2004, 06:56 PM   #5723
Smokey The ßear
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Why do women get periods?
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Old 05-21-2004, 06:56 PM   #5724
Jolly Rancher
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A: She didn't have the balls.
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Old 05-21-2004, 06:56 PM   #5725
Smokey The ßear
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Because they deserve them.
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Old 05-21-2004, 06:57 PM   #5726
Jolly Rancher
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Q: What's a 79 ?
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Old 05-21-2004, 06:57 PM   #5727
Smokey The ßear
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Why did the punk cross the road?
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Old 05-21-2004, 06:57 PM   #5728
PrivateIvy
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Bots?
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Old 05-21-2004, 06:58 PM   #5729
Smokey The ßear
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Because he was stapled to the chickens back.
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Old 05-21-2004, 06:58 PM   #5730
Jolly Rancher
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Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
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Old 05-21-2004, 06:59 PM   #5731
Smokey The ßear
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Only one. To slam the car boot shut.
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Old 05-21-2004, 06:59 PM   #5732
Jolly Rancher
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Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
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Old 05-21-2004, 06:59 PM   #5733
Smokey The ßear
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There were four 80 year old men playing golf. One complained the hills were to high. The second complained the bunkers were too deep. The third said the holes were too wide. The fourth one said 'Shut up! At least we're still on the right side of the grass!'
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Old 05-21-2004, 07:00 PM   #5734
Jolly Rancher
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A: 45 minutes.
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Old 05-21-2004, 07:00 PM   #5735
Smokey The ßear
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Broken promises don't upset me. I just think 'Why did they believe me?'
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Old 05-21-2004, 07:00 PM   #5736
Jolly Rancher
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Q: What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman?
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Old 05-21-2004, 07:00 PM   #5737
DR_PHIL
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ok
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Old 05-21-2004, 07:01 PM   #5738
Smokey The ßear
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Six stages of married life:1: Tri-weekly2: Try weekly3: Try weakly4. Try oysters5: Try anything6: Try to remember
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Old 05-21-2004, 07:01 PM   #5739
Jolly Rancher
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A: Sexual harassment.
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Old 05-21-2004, 07:01 PM   #5740
DR_PHIL
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ok?
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Old 05-21-2004, 07:01 PM   #5741
Smokey The ßear
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A man took his wife to the doctors. After a short examination the doctor said 'Your wife's mind has completely gone!'. To which the man replied 'I'm not surprised. She's been giving a piece of it to me every day for the past 25 years!' :D
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Old 05-21-2004, 07:01 PM   #5742
Jolly Rancher
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Q: What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man?
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Old 05-21-2004, 07:02 PM   #5743
DR_PHIL
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bots
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Old 05-21-2004, 07:02 PM   #5744
DR_PHIL
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suck
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Old 05-21-2004, 07:02 PM   #5745
Smokey The ßear
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The graduate with an engenieering degree asks 'How does it do that?'
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Old 05-21-2004, 07:02 PM   #5746
Jolly Rancher
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Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?
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Old 05-21-2004, 07:03 PM   #5747
Smokey The ßear
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The graduate with an accounting degree asks 'How much does it cost?'
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Old 05-21-2004, 07:03 PM   #5748
Jolly Rancher
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A: The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
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Old 05-21-2004, 07:04 PM   #5749
Smokey The ßear
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The graduate with the Arts degree asks 'Do you want fries with that?'
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Old 05-21-2004, 07:04 PM   #5750
Jolly Rancher
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Q: How can you tell if your husband is dead?
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