The Last Person to ever post is this Thread wins $250 (paypal) - Page 130 - GoFuckYourself.com

Approved Cash · 05-21-2004, 11:39 PM

"Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact."

Nanda · 05-21-2004, 11:39 PM

Paddy was trapped in a bog and seemed a goner when Big Mick O'Reilly wandered by.

"Help!" Paddy shouted, "Oi'm sinkin'!" Don't worry," assured Mick. "Next to the Strong Muldoon, Oi'm the strongest man in Erin, and Oi'll pull ye right out o' there."

Mick leaned out and grabbed Paddy's hand and pulled and pulled to no avail. After two more unsuccessful attempts, Mick said to Paddy, "Shure, an' Oi can't do it. The Strong Muldoon could do it alone, mebbe, but Oi'll have to get some help."

As Mick was leaving, Paddy called "Mick! Mick! D'ye think it will help if Oi pull me feet out of the stirrups?"

Smokey The ßear · 05-21-2004, 11:40 PM

Why does an elephant have four feet?

Nanda · 05-21-2004, 11:40 PM

Concerning bagpipes: The Irish invented them and gave them to the Scots as a joke, and the Scots haven't seen the joke yet.

Nanda · 05-21-2004, 11:40 PM

The Irish girl knelt in the confessional and said, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned."

"What is it, child?"

The girl said, "Father, I have committed the sin of vanity. Twice a day I gaze at myself in the mirror and tell myself how beautiful I am."

The priest turned, took a good look at the girl, and said, "My dear, I have good news. That isn't a sin - it's only a mistake."

Smokey The ßear · 05-21-2004, 11:41 PM

Because it would look silly with six inches.

Approved Cash · 05-21-2004, 11:41 PM

"Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth."

Smokey The ßear · 05-21-2004, 11:41 PM

but sure looks better on a woman.

Smokey The ßear · 05-21-2004, 11:42 PM

What do you call a woman who can suck golf balls through a hose?

Approved Cash · 05-21-2004, 11:43 PM

"Black holes are where God divided by zero."

Smokey The ßear · 05-21-2004, 11:43 PM

Darling.

David Barnes · 05-21-2004, 11:44 PM

david barnes has arrived

Smokey The ßear · 05-21-2004, 11:44 PM

Because they deserve them.

Smokey The ßear · 05-21-2004, 11:45 PM

Because he was stapled to the chickens back.

Smokey The ßear · 05-21-2004, 11:46 PM

How many men do you need for a mafia funeral?

Approved Cash · 05-21-2004, 11:46 PM

"I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it."

Smokey The ßear · 05-21-2004, 11:46 PM

Only one. To slam the car boot shut.

Smokey The ßear · 05-21-2004, 11:47 PM

There were four 80 year old men playing golf. One complained the hills were to high. The second complained the bunkers were too deep. The third said the holes were too wide. The fourth one said 'Shut up! At least we're still on the right side of the grass!'

Smokey The ßear · 05-21-2004, 11:48 PM

Broken promises don't upset me. I just think 'Why did they believe me?'

Smokey The ßear · 05-21-2004, 11:49 PM

:D A man took his wife to the doctors. After a short examination the doctor said 'Your wife's mind has completely gone!'. To which the man replied 'I'm not surprised. She's been giving a piece of it to me every day for the past 25 years!'

Approved Cash · 05-21-2004, 11:49 PM

"Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour."

Smokey The ßear · 05-21-2004, 11:49 PM

The graduate with a science degree asks 'Why does it work?'

Approved Cash · 05-21-2004, 11:50 PM

"Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure."

Smokey The ßear · 05-21-2004, 11:50 PM

The graduate with an accounting degree asks 'How much does it cost?'

Approved Cash · 05-21-2004, 11:51 PM

"I have read your book and much like it."

David Barnes · 05-21-2004, 11:51 PM

what did I miss?

Smokey The ßear · 05-21-2004, 11:52 PM

'Was your wife a virgin when you married?'

Approved Cash · 05-21-2004, 11:52 PM

"The covers of this book are too far apart."

David Barnes · 05-21-2004, 11:52 PM

hopefully not much

Approved Cash · 05-21-2004, 11:52 PM

"Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them."

Smokey The ßear · 05-21-2004, 11:52 PM

'I don't know. Some say yes. Some say no.'

David Barnes · 05-21-2004, 11:53 PM

that would be really sad

Approved Cash · 05-21-2004, 11:53 PM

"Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end."

David Barnes · 05-21-2004, 11:53 PM

know what I'm sayin

Smokey The ßear · 05-21-2004, 11:54 PM

It's ass.

Approved Cash · 05-21-2004, 11:54 PM

"Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung."

David Barnes · 05-21-2004, 11:54 PM

she makes me wanna die

Approved Cash · 05-21-2004, 11:55 PM

"When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before."

David Barnes · 05-21-2004, 11:55 PM

great song by tricky

Smokey The ßear · 05-21-2004, 11:55 PM

What's brown and sticky?

Approved Cash · 05-21-2004, 11:55 PM

"I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to."

David Barnes · 05-21-2004, 11:55 PM

I like the idea of DRM

Approved Cash · 05-21-2004, 11:56 PM

"No Sane man will dance."

David Barnes · 05-21-2004, 11:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Smokey The ßear
What's brown and sticky?

a stick?

Approved Cash · 05-21-2004, 11:56 PM

"Hell is a half-filled auditorium."

Smokey The ßear · 05-21-2004, 11:56 PM

What's the difference between a rotwieler and a poodle?

Approved Cash · 05-21-2004, 11:57 PM

"Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you."

Smokey The ßear · 05-21-2004, 11:57 PM

I'd cross the hottest desert

David Barnes · 05-21-2004, 11:57 PM

you're insignificant

Smokey The ßear · 05-21-2004, 11:58 PM

You must have come from the shallow end of the gene pool.

05-21-2004, 11:39 PM	#6451
Approved Cash Confirmed User Join Date: May 2004 Location: Pacific Beach Posts: 101	"Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact." __________________ Do what you know you should.

05-21-2004, 11:39 PM	#6452
Nanda Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: African Safari Posts: 5,310	Paddy was trapped in a bog and seemed a goner when Big Mick O'Reilly wandered by. "Help!" Paddy shouted, "Oi'm sinkin'!" Don't worry," assured Mick. "Next to the Strong Muldoon, Oi'm the strongest man in Erin, and Oi'll pull ye right out o' there." Mick leaned out and grabbed Paddy's hand and pulled and pulled to no avail. After two more unsuccessful attempts, Mick said to Paddy, "Shure, an' Oi can't do it. The Strong Muldoon could do it alone, mebbe, but Oi'll have to get some help." As Mick was leaving, Paddy called "Mick! Mick! D'ye think it will help if Oi pull me feet out of the stirrups?" __________________ My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business. He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!

05-21-2004, 11:40 PM	#6454
Nanda Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: African Safari Posts: 5,310	Concerning bagpipes: The Irish invented them and gave them to the Scots as a joke, and the Scots haven't seen the joke yet. __________________ My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business. He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!

05-21-2004, 11:40 PM	#6455
Nanda Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: African Safari Posts: 5,310	The Irish girl knelt in the confessional and said, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned." "What is it, child?" The girl said, "Father, I have committed the sin of vanity. Twice a day I gaze at myself in the mirror and tell myself how beautiful I am." The priest turned, took a good look at the girl, and said, "My dear, I have good news. That isn't a sin - it's only a mistake." __________________ My Ex-husband SKULL-BUITRE ran off to Colombia with OUR money and screwed me after I helped him build OUR business. He is hiding in Colombia and never paid the settlement $ from our divorce!

05-21-2004, 11:41 PM	#6457
Approved Cash Confirmed User Join Date: May 2004 Location: Pacific Beach Posts: 101	"Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth." __________________ Do what you know you should.

05-21-2004, 11:40 PM	#6453
Smokey The ßear So Fucking Banned Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 1,144	Why does an elephant have four feet?

05-21-2004, 11:41 PM	#6456
Smokey The ßear So Fucking Banned Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 1,144	Because it would look silly with six inches.

05-21-2004, 11:41 PM	#6458
Smokey The ßear So Fucking Banned Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 1,144	but sure looks better on a woman.

05-21-2004, 11:42 PM	#6459
Smokey The ßear So Fucking Banned Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 1,144	What do you call a woman who can suck golf balls through a hose?

05-21-2004, 11:43 PM	#6460
Approved Cash Confirmed User Join Date: May 2004 Location: Pacific Beach Posts: 101	"Black holes are where God divided by zero." __________________ Do what you know you should.

05-21-2004, 11:43 PM	#6461
Smokey The ßear So Fucking Banned Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 1,144	Darling.

05-21-2004, 11:44 PM	#6462
David Barnes So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Right Behind You! Posts: 573	david barnes has arrived

05-21-2004, 11:44 PM	#6463
Smokey The ßear So Fucking Banned Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 1,144	Because they deserve them.

05-21-2004, 11:45 PM	#6464
Smokey The ßear So Fucking Banned Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 1,144	Because he was stapled to the chickens back.

05-21-2004, 11:46 PM	#6465
Smokey The ßear So Fucking Banned Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 1,144	How many men do you need for a mafia funeral?

05-21-2004, 11:46 PM	#6466
Approved Cash Confirmed User Join Date: May 2004 Location: Pacific Beach Posts: 101	"I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it." __________________ Do what you know you should.

05-21-2004, 11:46 PM	#6467
Smokey The ßear So Fucking Banned Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 1,144	Only one. To slam the car boot shut.

05-21-2004, 11:47 PM	#6468
Smokey The ßear So Fucking Banned Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 1,144	There were four 80 year old men playing golf. One complained the hills were to high. The second complained the bunkers were too deep. The third said the holes were too wide. The fourth one said 'Shut up! At least we're still on the right side of the grass!'

05-21-2004, 11:48 PM	#6469
Smokey The ßear So Fucking Banned Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 1,144	Broken promises don't upset me. I just think 'Why did they believe me?'

05-21-2004, 11:49 PM	#6470
Smokey The ßear So Fucking Banned Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 1,144	:D A man took his wife to the doctors. After a short examination the doctor said 'Your wife's mind has completely gone!'. To which the man replied 'I'm not surprised. She's been giving a piece of it to me every day for the past 25 years!'

05-21-2004, 11:49 PM	#6471
Approved Cash Confirmed User Join Date: May 2004 Location: Pacific Beach Posts: 101	"Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour." __________________ Do what you know you should.

05-21-2004, 11:49 PM	#6472
Smokey The ßear So Fucking Banned Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 1,144	The graduate with a science degree asks 'Why does it work?'

05-21-2004, 11:50 PM	#6473
Approved Cash Confirmed User Join Date: May 2004 Location: Pacific Beach Posts: 101	"Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure." __________________ Do what you know you should.

05-21-2004, 11:50 PM	#6474
Smokey The ßear So Fucking Banned Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 1,144	The graduate with an accounting degree asks 'How much does it cost?'

05-21-2004, 11:51 PM	#6475
Approved Cash Confirmed User Join Date: May 2004 Location: Pacific Beach Posts: 101	"I have read your book and much like it." __________________ Do what you know you should.

05-21-2004, 11:51 PM	#6476
David Barnes So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Right Behind You! Posts: 573	what did I miss?

05-21-2004, 11:52 PM	#6477
Smokey The ßear So Fucking Banned Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 1,144	'Was your wife a virgin when you married?'

05-21-2004, 11:52 PM	#6478
Approved Cash Confirmed User Join Date: May 2004 Location: Pacific Beach Posts: 101	"The covers of this book are too far apart." __________________ Do what you know you should.

05-21-2004, 11:52 PM	#6479
David Barnes So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Right Behind You! Posts: 573	hopefully not much

05-21-2004, 11:52 PM	#6480
Approved Cash Confirmed User Join Date: May 2004 Location: Pacific Beach Posts: 101	"Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them." __________________ Do what you know you should.

05-21-2004, 11:52 PM	#6481
Smokey The ßear So Fucking Banned Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 1,144	'I don't know. Some say yes. Some say no.'

05-21-2004, 11:53 PM	#6482
David Barnes So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Right Behind You! Posts: 573	that would be really sad

05-21-2004, 11:53 PM	#6483
Approved Cash Confirmed User Join Date: May 2004 Location: Pacific Beach Posts: 101	"Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end." __________________ Do what you know you should.

05-21-2004, 11:53 PM	#6484
David Barnes So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Right Behind You! Posts: 573	know what I'm sayin

05-21-2004, 11:54 PM	#6485
Smokey The ßear So Fucking Banned Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 1,144	It's ass.