You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are Gentlemen, start your engines.:thumbsup

Two flies were flying around a pile of poo and the first fly started sniffing around and said, "Ew, who farted?"

:NopeNope Q. How can you tell a blonde has had a bad day? :sadcrying

Q. Why was Frosty smiling?
A. He saw the snowblower coming

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you kissed your own wife at midnight at the New Years Eve party.:feels-hot

:boid A. She has a tampon tucked under her ear and she can't find her pencil. :pimp

:) can I get to 50

What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that will bring tears to your eyes!

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you've ever taken reading material into an airplane restroom.:1orglaugh

:warning Q. What does the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common? :Oh crap

While he was rooting around in the basement, a man found a magic lamp. When he rubbed it, a genie emerged in a huge cloud of pink smoke.
"I am the all-powerful genie. I shall grant you one wish." The man thought about this, and decided that if there was one thing he couldn't get enough of, it was wine.

"I wish I could pee wine. That's my wish."

"Granted." And the genie disappeared. Later that day, the man's wife came home to find her husband naked, holding a glass.

"Why only one glass?" asked her wife.

"You're drinking out of the bottle tonight."

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you've ever gotten an official letter of recognition from a tobacco or beer company.:glugglug

:GFYBand A. They both swallowed a lot of semen. :D

A redneck boy runs into his house and proclaims, "I've found the girl that I'm gonna marry! And she's a virgin!"
Incensed, his father pounds his fist on the table.

"There's no way you'll marry that girl! If she aint' good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for ours."

:321GFY

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you vacuum the sheets instead of washing them.:winkwink:

:moon Q. What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board? :eek7

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you've ever valet parked a snow plow.:)

:ak47: Q. How did the blonde burn her nose? :xomunch

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you've ever stood in line to have your picture made with a freak of nature.:thumbsup

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you break wind in public and blame it on your kid.:)

:1orglaugh A. Bobbing for chips. :warning

Once there was a blonde who really needed some money. She saw an ad in the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory. She went down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn't want the job because it was so boring. The blonde begged him and told him she would do anything because she needed the money really bad. After long consideration the manager hired her.
After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor showing the factory floor and saw that the conveyer belt was backed up. The manager went downstairs to find out what the problem was. When he arived there the blonde was sewing to marbles into the crotch of every Elmo.

The manager said, ''I said to give each Elmo two test tickles; not two testicles!'':winkwink:

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you've ever had to siphon gas from your lawn mower to put into your truck.:Graucho

:Buck: A. Brain tumor. :spawn

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you've ever paid for a six-pack of beer with pennies.:glugglug

:1orglaugh

:ticking Q. Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom? :sleep

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . there are hubcap wind chimes anywhere on your block.:thumbsup

:helpme

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you have a Bud Light pool-table light hanging over your dining room table.:)

:glugglug Q. How would a blonde punctuate the following: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry" :warning

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . the strongest smell in your house is butane.:1orglaugh

:drinkup A. Fun period fun period fun no period worry worry worry.... :NopeNope

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you think paprika is a Third World country.:winkwink:

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you ask the preacher, Hows it hanging?:feels-hot

:2 cents: Q. Why is a blonde like an old washing machine? :uhoh

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you go to a stock car race and dont need a program.:helpme

:Kissmy Q. What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms? :eyecrazy

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you have a bumper sticker that says, My mothers an honor student at the local junior high.:hi