:helpme Why does an elephant have four feet? :Oh crap

happy gilmore

"Do, or do not. There is no 'try'."

:Hollering Because it would look silly with six inches. :eyecrazy

nightmare on elm street

:eek7 but sure looks better on a woman. :question

"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it."

:zzwhip What do you call a woman who can suck golf balls through a hose? :waaaaahh

16 candles

:sadcrying Why do women get periods? :Graucho

"Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed."

:boid Because they deserve them. :zzwhip

something about mary

"I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves."

:2 cents: Because he was stapled to the chickens back. :hi

punch drunk love

:eyecrazy How many men do you need for a mafia funeral? :eek2

"The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense."

still here:Graucho

:Buck: Only one. To slam the car boot shut. :thumbsup

the karate kid

:Grrrrrr There were four 80 year old men playing golf. One complained the hills were to high. The second complained the bunkers were too deep. The third said the holes were too wide. The fourth one said 'Shut up! At least we're still on the right side of the grass!' :Graucho

"C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg."

:repuke Broken promises don't upset me. I just think 'Why did they believe me?' :uhoh

bad boys

:eatmouse A man took his wife to the doctors. After a short examination the doctor said 'Your wife's mind has completely gone!'. To which the man replied 'I'm not surprised. She's been giving a piece of it to me every day for the past 25 years!' :Graucho

"A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems."

how long will stop?

:eek7 The graduate with an engenieering degree asks 'How does it do that?' :karaoke

rebel without a cause

:question The graduate with an accounting degree asks 'How much does it cost?' :thefinger

"Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back."

:Graucho 'Was your wife a virgin when you married?' :angel

the whole nine yards

:eatmouse What is the last thing to go through the mind of a mosquito when it hits your windscreen? :karaoke

"The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad."

:Kissmy It's ass. :Grrrrrr

:helpme A face can say many things. Especially the mouth part. :stoned

50 first dates

"If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance."

:winkwink: What's brown and sticky? :stop

:zzwhip What's the difference between a rotwieler and a poodle? :2 cents:

meet the parents

"But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near."

:pimp I'd cross the hottest desert :uhoh

:zzwhip You must have come from the shallow end of the gene pool. :ak47:

mickey blue eyes

:Grrrrrr It was so cold :mad: