17. You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me.

Its your birthday

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you're driving a vehicle with no original body parts.:)

:D A. More headroom :Hollering

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you quit your job because deer season's fixin to start. lol

God hatin' ugly in the worst way

:Graucho Q. Why is a blonde like a doorknob? :stoned

Fuck 'em like the Earth say

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . your sister is the third generation of women in your family to conceive a baby due to an alien abduction.

:Oh crap A. Because everyone gets a turn. :ak47:

From first day I survey the hassle

My GOD!!... some just blew up the freakin work bathroom.. nasty

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you've ever gotten into a fist fight over a bowling score.

:repuke A. You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball. :karaoke

Death knockin at your door

I work with this guy and is on crack all day or something... no x-mas presents for him this year.

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you're a member of the Chaw of the Month Club.

:NopeNope Q. What does a screen door and a blonde have in common? :thefinger

In the Big Apple

18. The Earth Is Full - Go Home.

:drinkup A. The more you bang it :1orglaugh

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve. :Graucho

19. I Have The Body Of A God... Buddha.

Meth rotton to the core

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you've ever been hunting on a tractor.

:Hollering the looser it gets! :rainfro

20. This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me.

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . your yard has more than ten ceramic figurines.

Shackle, in the sound castle

:winkwink: A. Frosted Flakes :stoned

21. So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time.

The doungeon, with vermin

:Hollering Q. What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel? :Kissmy

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you think the ultimate beauty treatment is using Preparation-H to prevent wrinkles.:)

In the form of emcees determined

22. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.

:Buck: A. An airbag. :Graucho

23. If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?

To step foot on God soil

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you must go through more than 2 gates to get to your home.

:stoned Q. How can you tell a blonde has had a bad day? :321GFY

24. The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name.

Not knowin' that these egg heads come hard boiled

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you've never seen a film with subtitles.

:ticking A. She has a tampon tucked under her ear and she can't find her pencil. :moon

25. Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.

And heavy handed

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you own a pair of cut-offs made from double-knit pants.

26. Illiterate? Write For Help.

:evil-laug A. They both swallowed a lot of semen. :ak47: