:girl Q: Why did it take so long for Lorena Bobbitt to throw the dick out of the window? :sleep

:xomunch A: She didn't have the balls. :spawn

A penny saved is a Congressional spending oversight.

:cool-as-a Q: What's a 79 ? :Grrrrrr

I like kids, but I don't think I could eat a whole one.

:Oh crap A: 69 with a ten cent meal tax. :feels-hot

AIBOHPHOBIA - the fear of palindromes.

:boid Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? :tongue:

If puns were outlawed, only outlaws would have puns.

:glugglug A: 45 lbs. :Kissmy

:uhoh Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? :stop

I was the next door kid's imaginary friend.

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you drive across town to see a car wreck.

:feels-hot A: 45 minutes. :xomunch

If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

does this guy ever stop?
:helpme :321GFY

Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.

:NopeNope Q: What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman? :smokin

Nope, he's a post bot :1orglaugh

:eatmouse Q: What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man? :question

I'm an apathetic sociopath - I'd kill you if I cared.

:NopeNope A: $3.99 a minute. :spawn

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . it's impossible to see food stains on the fabric of your work uniform.

Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

:Graucho Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead? :xomunch

Even crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it.

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you think that anyone with ten fingers and toes is abnormal.

Constipated People Don't Give A Crap.

:Kissmy Q: How can you tell if your husband is dead? :Note

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you need one more hole punched in your card before you get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

:rainfro A: The sex is the same but you get the remote. :xomunch

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you have a personal account of a UFO sighting.

:winkwink: Q: What's it called when a woman is paralyzed from the waist down? A Marriage :ticking

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you think a hard drive is driving more than one hour.

:BangBang: Q: If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag you :rasta

:arcadefre what have you done wrong? :eyecrazy

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you've ever taken a generator and a 27-inch TV camping.:Graucho

:1orglaugh A: Made her chain too long. :ticking

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you help booby trap your family's marijuana crop.

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you have ever made a frog-gigging spear.

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . the last time you saw your daddy outside, he was picking up trash, chained to three other guys. lol:thumbsup

:rasta Q. What's the fastest way to a man's heart? :Kissmy

:Grrrrrr A. Through his chest with a sharp knife. :fart

:glugglug Q. Why are men like public toilets? :eek7

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . your mother's only shoes are house slippers.

:Grrrrrr A. Because all the good ones are engaged and the only ones left are full of crap :sleep

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . your sewage system consists of a pipe down a hillside.

:arcadefre Q. What have men and floor tiles got in common? :D

:stoned A. If you lay them properly the first time :glugglug

:eyecrazy you can walk all over them for life :321GFY