Two hunters are stalking through the forest when one says to the other that he has to take a dump. ''Well, go in the bushes.''
''What should I use to wipe my ass?''

''Use a dollar bill.''

A few minutes later the hunter steps out of the bushes with shit all over his hands.

''What happened?'' asks his friend.

''I didn't have a dollar bill, so I used four quarters.''

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . you think the Death Star is in the outhouse.:fart

Whats the difference between deernuts and beernuts?
Beernuts are a $1.39 and deernuts are under a buck.

:smokin A. After a year :drinkup

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . you have fish innards all over your light sabor. :throwup

What is the definition of suspicious?
A nun doing sit-ups in a cucumber field.

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . at least one section of your X-Wing is bondo colored. :thefinger

:fart Q. Did you hear about the new blonde paint? :feels-hot

some funny shit here

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . you can't describe the taste of an Ewok without using the word chicken. :Graucho

:GFYBand A It's not real bright :thumbsup

Did you hear about the man who drank 5 gallons of tea?
He drowned in his teepee!

If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

Two cannibals are eating dinner and one says, "I hate my mother-in-law."
The other replies, "Well, just eat your noodles, then."

Once there was a blonde who really needed some money. She saw an ad in the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory. She went down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn't want the job because it was so boring. The blonde begged him and told him she would do anything because she needed the money really bad. After long consideration the manager hired her.
After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor showing the factory floor and saw that the conveyer belt was backed up. The manager went downstairs to find out what the problem was. When he arived there the blonde was sewing to marbles into the crotch of every Elmo.

The manager said, ''I said to give each Elmo two test tickles; not two testicles!'':warning

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . the moonshine still you built on Endor is hidden so well even the Ewoks can't find it.

:eyecrazy but its cheap :girl

Q: Whats brown and has holes?
A: Swiss shit.

Why did God make farts smelly?
So deaf people can enjoy them too!

:cool-as-a and spreads easy. :question

An old man and a old lady went in the doctor's office to get their yearly exam. The doctor came in and started to get some information from them. He then told the old man that he needed to have a stool sample and a urine sample. The old man turned to the old lady and asked her what the doctor said.
"He needs a pair of your underwear."

:moon A. Between the two of us :hi

What did the bow-legged doe say?
Thats the last time I will do that for ten bucks.

:Grrrrrr Q. How does a blonde part their hair? :thefinger

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you were acquitted for murdering your first wife after she threw out your Elvis 45's.

:Oh crap A. By doing the splits. :Buck:

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you think watching professional wrestling is foreplay.

:moon Q. What did the blondes right leg say to the left leg? :cool-as-a

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . your front porch collapses and four dogs get killed.:helpme

How can you pick out Dolly Parton's kids on the play ground?
They're the ones with the stretch marks around their lips!

:waaaaahh A. Nothing :arcadefre

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you no longer drink wine ever since the screw cap got caught up your nose.:glugglug

:ticking Q. Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink? :boid

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.:Graucho

:ak47: A. Because that's where your supposed to wash vegetables. :waaaaahh

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . that billboard that says, 'Say No To Crack' reminds you to pull up your jeans.:thumbsup

:zzwhip Q. What's a blondes favorite nursery rhyme? :repuke

:zzwhip A. Humpme Dumpme :thefinger

:eek2 Q. Why did the blonde like the car with a sunroof? :rasta

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . your wifes hairdo was ever ruined by a ceiling fan.

:sleep Q. Why don't blondes use vibrators? :girl

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you go to your family reunions looking for a date.

:Hollering A. They chip their teeth. :sadcrying

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you think a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy.:Graucho

:eek2 Q. How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning? :repuke

A boy awoke and wanted breakfast so he told his mother. She said, "Not until you feed the animals."
The boy went outside and said to the chicken, "I don't feel like feeding you today." So he kicked the chicken. He did the same with the cow and the pig. The boy then went back into the house and told his mother he was hungry. His mother said, "I saw you kick the chicken so you're not getting any eggs, I saw you kick the cow so you're not getting any milk and I saw kick the pig so you're not getting any bacon."

Just then the boy's father walked down the steps and tripped over and kicked the cat and the boy said, "Mom should I tell him?"

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.

:waaaaahh A. Fertilized :Kissmy

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you've got more than three cousins named Bubba.:1orglaugh

:Hollering Q. Why do blondes like tilt steering? :thumbsup