:arcadefre A. Open 24 hours a day. :1orglaugh

A new law recently passed in Arkansas.
When a couple is divorced, they can still legally be brother and sister

How do you know that the toothbrush was invented by a redneck?
If it was invented by anyone else they would have called it a "teethbrush".

:ugone2far Q. Why did the blonde throw bread crumbs down the toilet? :321GFY

Why are there no fertility clinics in Arkansas?

They would just tell the women to try another brother

:uhoh A. To feed the toilet duck! :tongue:

There's a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, ''Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!''
Herman says, ''I know, but there isn't just one, there are hundreds!''

:xomunch Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a pair of sun glasses? :Hollering

What do you call the moisture between two people having sex in Alabama?
Relative humidity

Bar... Alabama

This guy walks into a bar down in Alabama and orderes a mudslide. The bartender looks at the man and says "You're not from round here are ya?"
"No" replied the man, "I'm from Pensylvania." The bartender looks at him and syas "Well what do you do in Pensylvania?"

"I'm a taxidermist." said the man. The bartender, looking very bewildered, now asked "What in the world is a tax-e-derm-ist?" The man looked at the bar tender and said "Well, I mount dead animals."

The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar which is staring at him "It's okay, boys! He's one of us!"

Get one

:sadcrying A. The sun glasses sit higher on your face. :eatmouse

A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks, ''Where did you get that?''
The pig says, ''I won her in a raffle!''

:uhoh A. practice. :feels-hot

You might be a redneck if you give Santa three pickled eggs and a cold one instead of cookies and milk

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . you have ever used a light-sabre to clean fish or open a non-twist-off bottle of beer.

:BangBang: Q. Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails? :eek2

Clinton's DNA

Re: DNA Test Results: Clinton, William Jefferson
Dear Mr. Starr:

The test on the dress came back inconclusive. Everyone in Arkansas has the same DNA.

Apologies,

The FBI

:1orglaugh A. To cover the valve stem. :zzwhip

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . you have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingie to get the bar-b-q grill to light. :feels-hot

There was a Kentucky redneck and an Ohio buckeye, fishing on their respective sides of the Ohio river. Just as soon as the redneck put his line in the water, he slung a fish onto the bank, and the buckeye was catching nothing, so he yelled across to the redneck, ''Buddy, I'd sure like to be on your side of the river!''

''Aight, tell ya whut, I'll shine my flashlight 'cross this river, and you can walk across this little beam of light!'' the redneck yelled back.

The buckeye replied, ''Hain't no way, buddy. I know you think I'm a fool! When I get halfway 'cross, you'll turn your flashlight off!''

:thumbsup Q. Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks? :sadcrying

You know you're a redneck when the biggest city you've been to is Wal-Mart.

:ak47: A. It takes too long to retrain them. :girl

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . you wore burlap even before you started your Jedi training.
I cant stop :helpme lol

An old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day. The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as the cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail. The cowboy then moved slowly to the back of his horse, lifted its tail, and placed a big kiss where the sun don't shine. He dropped the horse's tail, stepped up on the walk and aimed toward the swinging doors of the saloon.
"Hold on there, Mister," said the sheriff. "Did I just see what I think I saw?"

"Reckon you did, Sheriff. I got me some powerful chapped lips."

"And that cures them?" the Sheriff asked.

"Nope, but it keeps me from lickin' 'em."

:pimp Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a guy? :Kissmy

You might be a redneck if you mow your grass and find three cars.

You might be a redneck if you think the first four words of the national anthem are, ''Gentlemen start your engines''.

Q: What is a double-wide salad?
A: It's for people who can't afford a house salad.

ohh! a new bot

Hey
Nanda get your own thing Jolly Rancher has the blonde jokes I got the you know your a redneck...I didnt steal blonde jokes from JR. dont steal the redneck from me lol

You know you're a redneck if you have sex ed and drivers ed in the same car.

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . your favorite meals on Dagoba incorporate native snakes.

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . you have fuzzy dice hanging in the cockpit of your X-Wing.

LOL...I wasn't stealing them from u hun...Ok:winkwink:

A high school teacher reminded her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family - but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class did its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled sympathetically at the student, shook her head, and sweetly said, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

It took 15 minutes for the class to come to order.......

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . you've asked an Ewok to help you go coon hunting. :ak47:

Sorry, this topic is now closed, no more posts allowed. Not even to say how sorry you are to see the thread go!

:thumbsup

Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence.

Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached

No worries its all good :)

:arcadefre A. The blonde has the higher sperm count. :glugglug

Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind

yeah i mean god damn lets keep the jokes fresh! lol

:glugglug Q. How is a blonde like peanut-butter? :karaoke

So I won I had the last post???????

Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters

:BangBang: Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house? :helpme

yes u won!

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . you've ever looked at your sister, thought she was one hot babe, and kissed her. :Graucho