You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you break wind in public and blame it on your kid.:)

:1orglaugh A. Bobbing for chips. :warning

Once there was a blonde who really needed some money. She saw an ad in the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory. She went down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn't want the job because it was so boring. The blonde begged him and told him she would do anything because she needed the money really bad. After long consideration the manager hired her.
After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor showing the factory floor and saw that the conveyer belt was backed up. The manager went downstairs to find out what the problem was. When he arived there the blonde was sewing to marbles into the crotch of every Elmo.

The manager said, ''I said to give each Elmo two test tickles; not two testicles!'':winkwink:

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you've ever had to siphon gas from your lawn mower to put into your truck.:Graucho

:Buck: A. Brain tumor. :spawn

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you've ever paid for a six-pack of beer with pennies.:glugglug

:1orglaugh

:ticking Q. Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom? :sleep

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . there are hubcap wind chimes anywhere on your block.:thumbsup

:helpme

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you have a Bud Light pool-table light hanging over your dining room table.:)

:glugglug Q. How would a blonde punctuate the following: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry" :warning

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . the strongest smell in your house is butane.:1orglaugh

:drinkup A. Fun period fun period fun no period worry worry worry.... :NopeNope

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you think paprika is a Third World country.:winkwink:

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you ask the preacher, Hows it hanging?:feels-hot

:2 cents: Q. Why is a blonde like an old washing machine? :uhoh

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you go to a stock car race and dont need a program.:helpme

:Kissmy Q. What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms? :eyecrazy

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you have a bumper sticker that says, My mothers an honor student at the local junior high.:hi

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you think potted meat on a saltine is an hors doeuvre. lol:)

:helpme Q. What do you call a blonde with a runny nose? :NopeNope

I like cheese.

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you played the banjo in your high school band.:GFYBand

:feels-hot A. FULL :question

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . the velvet paintings in your house were bought from an art dealer on the side of the highway.:glugglug

:helpme A. She slipped off and fell down the drain. :question

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you have no hubcaps on your car because youre using them to feed your hunting dogs.:Graucho

1 million

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you cant visit relatives without getting mud on your tires.:1orglaugh

:repuke A. So she could lip read. :hi

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . your mother doesnt put shoes on to go grocery shopping.:)

:repuke Q. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? :Graucho

:xomunch A. You get to park in the handicap zone. :evil-laug

Hellooooo!

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you've ever been blacklisted by a bowling alley.:drinkup

:Note Q. What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? :eek2

hello sammy :)

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you honest-to-God think women are turned on by animal noises and seductive tongue gestures.:Graucho

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . anyone in your family has ever purchased peroxide in a gallon container. lol

:1orglaugh Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a 747? :cool-as-a

:eyecrazy A. Not everyone has been in a 747? :eatmouse

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you don't think baseball players spit and scratch too much. LMAO :thumbsup

:mad: Q. What's the difference between butter and a blonde? :321GFY

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you've ever been to a wedding reception at the Waffle House.

:tongue: A. Butter is difficult to spread. :helpme

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . your dog has ever brought home something that you cooked for dinner.:1orglaugh

:karaoke A. Pull the pin and throw it back. :GFYBand

:BangBang: Q. What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette? :eek7

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you owe a taxidermist more than your monthly income.:helpme